Getting Tired of your Shit Treaguard

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He now lay on his back, looking up at another lunging slug, he rolled sideways, as it crashed into the stone floor. He made a dash for the item that had fallen from his pocket, and grabbed it. Holding it high above his head, he threw it hard into the floor. The glass jar shattered, sending it’s contents spreading across the pit floor.
The slugs made contact with it, and as each one did so it instantly dissolved.
Eventually Jay stood at the bottom of the pit, surrounded by a brownish sludge that was once the slugs.
“Holy salt…” Jay said to himself. “Whod’a thought….”
He looped his Crucifix over his head, and swung it around before tossing it upward where it hooked on the door handle above, Jay then used the chain to climb out of the pit to safety.
“So” he said as he reached the top “Shall we assume that that was the wrong door?”
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Artemis was relieved that Jay was okay, but he had begun to notice that something was wrong with the simulation. Suddenly, Artemis remembered the whole reason they entered it in the first place.
"The virus...." Artemis said under his breath. "What about it you git?" Alex asked. "Have you noticed, Lanky Locks, that the game is acting strange? Almost as if it's malfunctioning" The dwarfer's recollected on the recent past. It did appear that something was wrong. "I think you're right Artemis, do you think it's the virus?" Jay asked. "Hmm" Artemis pondered.

"Is there anyone outside the simulation who can hear me?" Artemis asked, looking up to the sky. "It's Katrina, can you hear me? Is this thing on?" A voice echoed. "Yes Mrs. Chrysler, I require your assistance. I need you to unlock the in-game debug console from the central terminal. Open the D&D executable and run it as an administrator, then at the controls tab I need you to find the option labeled debug console and activate it. Once that's done I need you to enter a series of Boolean commands that will allow me complete access to the game" There was an awkward silence. "Okay Artemis I didn't understand anything you just said, can you slow down!" Katrina replied. "Or go find my wife and have her do it, if you want to do it the quitters way" Artemis replied. "Yeah, I'll be right back. She's the purple one, right?" "Now I'll never hear the end of this" Said Artemis seconds after Katrina left to hunt down the Missus. "You have a wife?" Jay asked. "Yes, Skutter 0222-95. She used to be one of my lab aids. I love that woman to death but give her a reason and she'll gloat till the days end" Artemis sighed. "Just like her mother" Jay gave Artemis a quizzical look. "What? I just don't find human women attractive. Too short loved, too needy, and whiny" He hadn't known him for long, but Jay already knew more about Artemis and his logic than he wanted. Minutes later Katrina returned. "Okay, what did you need her to do?" Said Katrina. "I need you to give me access to the debug console" Artemis said dryly. The Missus retorted with a series of snarky beeps. "I know I said I didn't need your help on this one but things changed!" Another series of beeps and whistles sounded. "Yes! I know this was your day off! I'm sorry! Just please do this for me real quick" This time a more satisfied sounding reply came over the microphone "Okay dear, I love you too"

The debug console appeared and Artemis immediately got to work. "Yes, just as I thought" Artemis commented. Alex pushed his way to the console and looked at the readout. "The virus has doubled in size and has reached the game, D&D is experiencing binary decay....muh" Alex said, trying to make game and decay rhyme. "You're correct, Lanky Locks. The virus has infected the game. It is experiencing binary decay and will begin to act more and more erratic as time passes on. The ga,e will shift and change, likely becoming more difficult. However, we still need to complete it to succeed" Artemis shifted the display and examined the progress of the infection. "I believe that Treaguard has been infected, and that our journey may become more dangerous than expected" Just as Alex finished his sentence, Treaguard appeared and swiped away the debug screen. "Was that a cheat console Artemissio?" Treaguard said threateningly "No! It was....porn" Artemis replied sheepishly. "I think you were cheating! And do you know what happens to cheaters? They lose their ability to walk!" Treaguard zapped Artemis. Artemis fell to the ground, his legs went as limp as spaghetti. At the same time, a bolt of electricity shot out of the console in the AR room, sending Katrina and The Missus across the room. "No more interruptions! You will do as I say and follow my rules, or you'll all suffer! And you..." Treaguard pointed at Artemis. "No walking until you complete the next level!" Treaguard disappeared in a puff of flame. "Let's go, we have to hurry and find that chamber" Jade said. "Someone get the gimp before we leave, if I have to I will surely heave" Jay picked up Artemis and carried him in his arms. "Ferris Bueller you're my hero!" Artemis said jokingly. "Say that again and I'm dropping you...." Replied Jay.

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What's next on our trial of terror?
What kind of damage is the virus doing to the game?