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View character profile for: Dr. Artemis K. Pritchard VI
The Brooklyn Project
Posted byPosted: Jul 7, 2013, 3:20pm
3,000,000 years ago. Guild of Science Charon Research Facility, Charon, Sol System
"Dr. Pritchard, what kind of yield will the bomb have?" Jimmy, Artemis' current intern, asked as he marveled at the incredibly powerful weapon. "This particular model is in an air-dropped configuration. There's less equipment like guidance computers and thrusters inside, leaving more room for explosive ordnance. So I'd say 80 to 100 megatons of explosive force. If the Space Corps approves the deadline extension I can add an extra 100 megatons of explosive force! That's almost four times the explosive force of the Soviet Tsar Bomba! Imagine the faces on those GELF rebels when a mushroom cloud larger than Olympus Mons tears through the atmosphere!" The intern pictured the Q-Bomb falling from a Space Corps starfighter onto the battlefields below, he shivered at the damage that this device was capable of. "What about Dr. Lindström's bomb?" "Hah! Lindström's bomb can't even interface with the carrier vehicle!" "What do you mean Doctor?" "He finished his bomb last week and took it back to Earth for testing. The bombs wouldn't stay in their berths on the bombers and even when they did the ship-to-bomb interface wouldn't work. He commissioned over 200 of those things! Ol' Lars is sitting on a mountain of duds right now, the arrogant bastard!" "Weren't you two good friends?" "Yes Jimmy, but that was before the Brooklyn Project. Things change when friends with varying theories are squared off against one another. Especially when the smarter of the two friends succeeds in creating a weapon that's capable of rendering a planet devoid of life!" "What does Dr. Yemelyanenko think?"
Dr. Dimitri L. Yemelyanenko X, the head of the Guild of Science, Artemis and Lars' boss, and a personal friend of both the Pritchard and Lindström families. He personally oversaw the Brooklyn Project and actually encouraged the competition between the two scientists, but it seemed that he was more interested in helping Lindström succeed. After Lindström's failure and subsequent embarrassment in front of the Space Corps brass, Yemelyanenko decided to push all remaining funding to Artemis' Q-Bomb division. "He's....distressed at his pet's failure, but he has renewed faith in my project. I look forward to seeing his face when the test goes off without a hitch!" That following week Artemis tested the bomb for the Space Corps. Following the successful test it was distributed to the fleet handling the GELF uprising. The subsequent Q-Bombings won the war. Artemis continued his work, completely unaware of the conspiracy that was working it's way through the Charon Facility.
Present day, the roo outpost
Nobody had returned Artemis' calls, leading him to believe that something had gone wrong. Artemis kept pressing forward with Lars Lindström, whom he had take prisoner. "So was it really worth it? Allying with the Roo?" Artemis asked, poking Lindström with the muzzle of the flamethrower. "I used to think so, but now I'm not sure" Lindström scoffed. "If only you knew what really went on in the last days of the Brooklyn Project" "Educate me" "No, there's no point" Artemis threw Lindström into the wall and pinned him with the flamethrower. "What went on Lars? Tell me before I lose my patience!" "I'm not telling you! There's no point!" Artemis threw Lars to the ground and aimed the flamethrower at the bewildered swede's head. "I'm going to count to three...." "That's enough, Dr. Prithcard" a familiar voice called out. Artemis looked up and saw a hamster, toting a labcoat and glasses, walking towards him. "What? Do you want your pet back?" Artemis said mockingly. "No Dr. Pritchard, I'm here to talk some sense into you" Artemis recognized the thick Russian accent, Dr. Dimitri L. Yemelyanenko X. "Dimitri?" Artemis pulled the flamethrower back from Lars, who scurried behind the Russian hamster. "Yes Artemis. But not the one you knew. I guess I owe you an explanation. You see, the Dr. Yemelyanenko you knew was a hardlight hologram I had operated to guide the Guild of Science" "But why?" "Because, unlike my counterparts, I don't believe that Humans and other sentients are devolved beasts to be studied, but rather students to be taught. I operated the hologram remotely to share my secrets with Humanity, but he was not the first. Since the early twentieth century I've operated the holographic scientists of the Yemelyanenko family to guide humanity on a path of technological evolution. Every so often a war would happen or a plague would break out and I would need to ensure that the favorable outcome would occur. Such as the war with the industrial GELFs. If I hadn't pushed for the Q-Bomb than the Space Corps would have lost and a GELF invasion of the Sol system would have resulted in the enslavement of humanity" "Then why did you choose Lindström over me?" "Because Lars discovered my true identity, and I was forced to include him. I supplied him with Roo technology, even though I told him numerous times that it would be incompatible with Human technology, which is why his bombs couldn't interface with the Space Corps bombers. Once he had failed I decided to ensure that at least you would succeed by providing you with the surplus funding. After the war ended and the Space Corps sent me the IPBM (Inter-Planetary Ballistic Missile) contract I decided to pair you and Lars back together. What I didn't count on was Lars trying to include Roo technology in the missile, which caused the fatal explosion that took out the Charon Facility" "Wait, so that wasn't my fault?" "No Artemis, it was Lars' fault. I barely managed to save you and Lars from the blast. I used a Roo power shield to protect you, and I kidnapped Lars from your reality and imprisoned him here in this outpost to prevent him from doing any further harm!" Lars fell on his ass and stared at the ground in disbelief. "Sorry Lars, but you're nekompetentnym idiotom, and one of the most vysokomernyye uchenyye's I've ever met!"
Artemis felt the weight of a three million year burden lifted off his shoulders. He wasn't responsible for the Charon Incident! "Hah! I knew I wasn't responsible for that garbage! Take that dad!" The Russian hamster rested a hand on Artemis' shoulder. "Listen, I know you're happy that you know the truth, but you're still a psychopath" ....and the mood was gone. "Well, gee, thanks" "When have I ever lied?" "Whatever....so, what do we do now?" "Well, I'm going to leg it to my escape shuttle before your friends completely destroy this place" "But where will you go?" "I figure I can start my own lab on another planet, or maybe I'll finally retire to some nice beach planet. Who knows, I'm just glad I can finally leave this place without arousing suspicion" "What about Lars?" "I'll leave him up to you. I've spent the last three million years taking care of him, and I'm through!" Dimitri reached into his pocket and pulled out a vial. "I believe this is what you and your friends came here for, or at least the first half of it. You need the second vial that they keep in the vault or the anti-nanophage serum won't work. However, the vault is clear on the other side of the facility, there's no way you can make it in time. I suggest you and Lars make for the exit and you let your friends take care of the second vial. Goodbye Artemis, take care of the Dwarfers, they're a good bunch" Dimitri handed Artemis the vial and started towards a hidden exit. "Wait!" Artemis shouted, "Yes?" Dimitri replied. "Since you're an atemporal super-scientist, what's the meaning of life?" "Have you ever seen that Monty Python movie?" "Yes" "Yeah, that's pretty much it. Every sperm is sacred, cars have souls too, there's no intelligent life on Earth, and so forth" Artemis couldn't believe that the answer was in his movie footlocker the whole time. "So, what do we do now Artemis?" Lars asked. Artemis pulled him to his feet and pushed him in the direction of the entrance. "We run like hell until we get back to the swamp"
Back in the swamp, some time later
Artemis reached the swamp just minutes before everybody was supposed to get back. He quickly sprinted to the dispenser (the "q-bomb"), checked to make sure it was still functioning, and returned to Lars. "Okay, here's the deal. I don't want you within a mile of this portal when the others get here. You were never here, you don't exist, understood?" Artemis said sternly. "Yes, but where am I supposed to go?!" Artemis handed Lars a wrench and a roll of duct tape. "There's a Blue Midget crashed in the swamp out yonder" Artemis pointed towards the horizon. "The current has probably dragged it a few miles downstream, so follow it until you find the wreck. Repair it and get the hell out of here. DO NOT follow Blue Dwarf, DO NOT follow Dimitri, and whatever you do, DO NOT conduct science any longer, or I'll take a Space Eagle and I'll hunt you down. Do I make myself clear?" "Yes....thank you for sparing me Artemis" "Whatever, get out of here before I change my mind" Lars scurried into the swamp. Artemis hoped he would never see the arrogant bastard again. He hoped that the others got his radio message about the second piece of the cure being in the vault. Otherwise, it was bye bye Jay.
<The last paragraph is after the events of everyone else's adventures in the outpost. Artemis sent a message over all frequencies about the vault just before making his escape>
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