Use Your Body And Your Brain

Warning: Includes silly-horror-movie-like dark comedy violence.

The bug on Alex’s ankle sank its teeth in a little deeper, in the post-shot-shock he didn’t notice. He looked at the others, who were all shaken. Poor things.
Their fearful, confused, faces caused a warm wave of affection to break across his mind and chest. Pulsing with bug-driven empathy he got up and, with great concern, helped Jacky and Jaxx to their bewildered feet.

“Why did she do that?” A goggle fumbling Jacky asked, brushing himself down and squinting nervously at the exit, fearing the gun-toting doc’s return.
“I don’t know” said Alex, with a sympathetic tilt of the head “but I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it. She’s a lovely lady.” Jacky blinked.
“Oh c’mere!” In response to the puzzled expression, Alex grabbed the boy, and pulled him into a tight embrace. “You must’ve been so frightened” he ‘soothed’, stroking the back of the boy’s bandaged head, and rocking him slightly.
“Not as frightened as I am right now!” Jacky squawked as Alex lovingly squished the breath out of him.

“Um, Eve babe, d’you think-“ But before the large sharky surfer could finish his sentence, Alex had flung himself against him and thrown his arms around his stocky torso.
Jaxx didn’t really know what to do. While occasionally the grumbly man did sorta kind things, he had never been so overtly nice to him, (or in fact, anyone, as far as Jaxx’s currently limited memory was able to recall).
If Evelina hadn’t been so concerned about Jade she would’ve giggled at the scene. She pulled an ‘aww’ face, and simultaneously patted Alex and Jaxx on the shoulders.
“Are you all mad?” Enquired an angry and astonished Jacky. “Jade’s gone loopy and she’s on the loose with a gun!”
“Don’t worry” Alex mumbled from Jaxx’s shoulder “we’ll make sure she’s all right.” He then moved away from Jaxx to gently clasp his hand over Evelina’s which still rested on his shoulder. “Thank you,” he nodded, his face overly serious and genuine, “thank you.” Then he pulled her into a hug also.
Jaxx coughed, feeling a little confused and still not knowing what to do. On the one hand he didn’t want to interrupt the niceness, but on the other, it wasn’t cool seeing Evelina touch another man, and shouldn’t they be going after Doctor Jade? He decided that Alex wasn’t being flirty and smiled reassuringly at Evelina, who was mouthing “Jaxx, what the heck?” over Alex’s shoulder. Jaxx just shrugged.
“Shouldn’t we be getting after the doc?” He asked, voicing part of his thoughts.
“We should probably be hiding from her!”
Even in his healing, shocked and puzzled state, parts of Jacky’s bright mind were piecing things together. He was sure he should know why Jade and Alex were acting this way, but… No it was gone again. He sighed and glanced out of the door.
“HOLY SMEG ON A STICK!”
“Ahh, what is it, buddy?” Alex let go of Evelina and strode jauntily over to give Jacky’s hair an affectionate ruffle. If Jacky hadn’t been transfixed with terror right about then, he’d probably have stopped to consider how weird it was that Alex was flashing him an extremely out-of-character charming smile, and referring to him as ‘buddy’. Unfortunately, however, the smile and nicety were wasted, as Jacky was more out of his mind than 21st Century popster Pete Doherty.
“AARGHMYGODTHERE’SKILLERCLOWNSTHERE’SKILLERCLOWNSAAAAAAAAARGHHH!!!!!!!”
Still smiling, somewhat stupidly, Alex followed Jacky’s shaking finger, and his face dropped. A group of horrifying clowns were shambling across the yard, towards them, their oversized shoes flopping threateningly.

Solvay’s normal instinct would’ve been to fight alongside his crew-mates and protect them as best he could – however grudgingly. His ankle-bug however, had other plans and changed gear again. Clunk, griiiind, and his emotions left Affection & Empathy St, making a sharp turn into Cowardice Drive.
“Oh my Gods! Jacky! They’re coming for us! They’re COMING!" He clapped a hand to his own mouth. "They’re going to get us!” He sobbed. “I hate clowns!”
“What!?” Alex’s unexpected reaction temporarily snapped Jacky out of his hypnotised horror. “JACKY!” The petrified man persisted. “Do something! Save me!!!” Alex pulled the younger man in front of him, and attempted to fold himself into as small a form as possible in order to hide behind the lad.
“Uhm, what’s going on, Alex dude?” Jaxx stepped forward and inhaled sharply as he saw the clowns. “Evelina, get back, babe” he instructed, firmly.
“Nah” she said, having already spotted them “If it comes to it, I’m fighting right along with you.”

A terrified-at-being-used-as-a-shield Jacky wriggled out of an equally terrified Alex’s grasp. Suddenly shieldless, Solvay stood back up.
“I think,” he announced to the others “the best thing we can do now…” They looked at him, expectantly. “… is RUN!” He yelped. And with that, forgetting his rucksack, he sprinted out of the door and towards another nearby attraction.
Which, just so happened, to be the Fun House…

Adjusting to the new location, the bug changed yet again, turning a dark, dusty, green. It could feel the proximity to its counterpart, and needed to encourage its host to move nearer.

A foot scuffed somewhere deep in the house – the doctor, no doubt - and Alex found himself drawn towards it.
“Jaaaydeeey…” he called, sleazy and sinister again. “Oh, Doctor Jahaade? Where are you?” He crept through a shadowy doorway into the next room, pistol cocked and readied.
It was a hall of mirrors which - effect amplified by the creepy dim lighting - distorted his image into a myriad horrific altered versions of himself. “Jaaadde. Let’s kiss and make u-up!”
He stopped in the doorway to look back and admire his reflections, shifting his weight, and posing. He frowned - one of the images didn’t belong.
“AAAARGGHHH!!!!!” A screaming Jade flew from the darkness, smashing him in the chest with a detached go-kart steering column. The unexpected force sent him flying into the next room, and into an ancient ball pool where he dropped his pistol.
“WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR, YOU SILLY COW?” He bellowed, un-Solvay like. Un-kind. He took a moment to look around, trying to get his bearings, and groping for the gun. He was on edge; He didn’t know where Jade had gone.
“Looking for me?” She burst out of the coloured spheres in front of him, and delivered a tough-as-nails Irish uppercut, knocking him backwards. She was far stronger than she looked.
“You b*tch! What the f*ck are you playing at?” He said, rubbing his chin with one hand and shoving her back into the balls with the other.
“You’re all the same, men” she spat, getting her pistol out. “Selfish bastards, the lot of ye.” Her own bug was currently glowing in hateful shades of violet.
Alex's jaw felt misaligned, he clicked it. “Don’t be so smeggin’ sexist."
She launched herself at him again, battering at him with her palms and the side of the gun. He shuffled speedily backwards through the perversely cheery coloured plastic, until he could back up no more, pushed as he was against the wall of some sort of control booth.

“NYeeugh!” He’d managed to tuck his feet up to her stomach, and catapulted her across the pool.
“YOU ASSHOLE!” She yelled, disturbingly un-Jade-like, and scrambled forwards to try and pistol whip him. She got a few bashes in before he slapped the gun out of her hands. In response she did some slapping of her own, smacking him repeatedly about the face.
“STOP IT YOU HEAD CASE!” He threw her off him again and she landed deep in the balls some way off, slightly winded this time.
He took the opportunity to scramble out of the ball pit and dash into the next room. He should have been paying more attention to where he was going, because he was at the top of a large slide, and he’d overshot.
“Whoo-oAAAH!!!” He overbalanced, slipped and fell hard on his side, sliding down to find himself in a bouncy room at the bottom.
Aching, he clambered to his feet, only to be knocked straight off them again by Jade’s, which smacked hard into his ankles on her own, more dignified, entrance down the slide.

“Ah quit the foreplay…” he panted, climbing to his knees and rubbing his slide-smashed hip “… it's time to come to Daddy…”
“Papa’s got a brand new bag!” She swung her hefty medical bag into the side of his head, taking him by surprise, and knocking him to the floor again.
"Aawhhh s-meggg" he groaned, “would you STOP HITTING ME?”
Far less hurt than he, she scrambled nimbly over the bouncy floor and on top of him.
“Stop?” She smirked. “We’ve only just begun.”
Blood trickled down the side of his head, some of it rolling onto his lips, as he smiled. Not the warm and kind smile of a sane person, but the evil and twisted smile of a dark and disturbed soul.
“Yoooou fuckin’-“ he began, but the rest of his sentence was cut off, as Jade shoved one of the balls from the ball pit in his mouth.
“Shut up, whore" she snapped.
He scowled around the ball and tore at her shirt. In reply she gave him a quick chop to the throat, causing him to exhale sharply and send the ball flying out of his mouth to smack her in the head.
“Ow! THAT HURT!” She yelled, knuckle-slapping him round the face with the back of her hand. “BAD BOY!”
“Y- you did it” he wheezed, trying to catch his breath and elbowed her off him, where she bounced and sprung back to elbow him in return, right in the guts.
"Ohohoofff."
He was too winded to fight back, and she took the opportunity to sit across him and start binding his wrists with bandages.
“Why?” He groaned.
She leaned her face dangerously close to his. “You’re a man” she whispered “and I hate you.”

Thing about hate, they say, is that there’s a fine line between it and love. Having achieved the proximity they desired, the bugs now throbbed further colours of passion, and hummed happily.
Breathing almost normally again, Alex squinted at Jade. The dangerous doctor's face was directly above his and, instinct and hormonal instructions kicking in, he lifted his head to kiss her. “Mmmm.” She dropped the bandages, to hold his face in her hands, and kiss him deeply in return.
Then, frustratingly, she climbed off to rifle through her bag.
“Come back” he protested, huskily, part of him wondering dimly if she was finding something to finish him off. Somewhat worryingly she returned with a pair of scissors. His currently violence-addled mind flashed unpleasant images across his mental cinema. He should probably escape. He should probably roll onto his knees right now, slip his bandages and run the smeg away from the psycho doctor. Unfortunately the current position of one of her hands made this fairly non-feasible for a conflicting variety of reasons.

With her other hand, she opened the shiny scissors, grazing the sharp edge against the inside of his arm, then pushing his vest up to scrape it across his stomach. She prodded a smooth, blemish-free, area with the pointy end of the scissors, causing him to suck air through his teeth.
“Your scars” she told him “they’re ugly”.
Blunt, but true.
“Smeg you.”
She bent to run her tongue over one of them, and Solvay’s eyes rolled back in his head. “Planning to give me another?” He mumbled.
She ran the cool steel back down his torso.

“No,” she told him, breathing heavily, “these’re for something else…”

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To Be Continued…

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