Hungry Spider Eyes

<So, remember that "doesn't matter if it's badly written, just get posting for the adventure" thing? This is one of those, heh heh. So tired I can't think straight. But I promised I'd post it today, and there's only 1/4 hr of today left [oops, sorry, the formatting was wonky so now it's just into the next day]. So here it is.>

Alex nudged the swamp-flopped man with his foot. “Is this what’s been screaming?” He asked.
“Hmm. I don’t think so. Get him out of the mud or he’ll drown.” Plisken instructed.
“Oh, yeh. Sorry.” Alex yanked the guy up and propped him into a floppy seated position against a large, ominous tree which rose from a little earthy island. Jade crouched and began inspecting the man.
“Look” said Plisken, noticing the rapidly sinking pocket-paraphernalia and scooping it up “he’s from Blue Dwarf!” Alex scanned the effects, puzzled. “Was he in stasis?”
<snip>could you pull me off this chap before he wakes up?"</snip> came Holly’s voice, startling them.
“Holly!”
“Never mind all that!” Jacky panted. “Think this spider’s doing things to my brain!”
“Yeah, yeah,” said Alex, absent-mindedly, trying to remove the man’s watch, “we’ve all got mental issues” he mumbled. This earned him a quick glance from Jade. “Just hang on. This guy’s got Holly on his watch.”
“Alright?” Holly nodded “Wot’s ‘app’nin’, dudes?”
“Hi, Hol” Jade smiled, pleased to see his familiar face “who’s your friend?”
But Jacky was insistent. “Please! Someone!”
Alex twisted towards him “I said hang o-“ He paused in surprise, the lad was madly gesturing at his own head, and, to his gut-wrenching horror, Alex saw that he did indeed have a big spidery creature attached to him, its long gnarly legs burrowing into his skull. Disgusted, arachnophobic instinct, caused Alex to leap up out of his crouch and away from Jacky. “What the F*CK?”
The shout alarmed Jade, who’d just discovered that the fallen mystery Dwarfer was stirring and groaning.
“What? What is it?”
Keeping his distance, Alex pointed at Jacky. “What am I looking at?” At first she couldn’t see anything, but then the lad squirmed and rotated a little, bringing the back of his head into view. “Oh my word! Jacky! When you said a spider was eating at your brain, I didn’t think you meant literally.”
“Nor, the mother of smeg, did I” muttered a revolted Alex.
“Please! Help me.” Jacky wailed, and then began to cry, which seemed to highlight how young he was.

A wave of empathy rocked Alex. Shit, shit, shit. He glanced at Plisken and Jade, hoping they’d do something, but they were both just staring in horror.
Oh bloody hell.
He fought his screaming instincts and, every movement forced, walked jerkily towards Jacky, took a deep breath, pushed the shuddering internal revulsion away, and yanked at the spider’s bulging, furry, abdomen.
“AAARGH!” Screamed Jacky in abject terror and pain. The spider did not budge.
“Wait!” Cried Jade. Alex let go, shook his hand, and dipped it in the swamp to ‘wash’ it. “Eugh, eugh, eugh.” Jade splashed over to them. “It might be embedded in there, don’t just haul it out!”
“I didn’t think of that.” Alex wiped his hand on his black combat pants and psyched himself up to try and touch it again.
“I think I can help” said a charismatic voice, behind them. They turned round to find the previously mud-flopped madman on his feet, and pointing what looked like a homemade flamethrower towards Jacky.
“No, no no! Don’t… Don’t burn me!” Begged Jacky “You look like an absolute loon and I don’t trust you!” He added, his not-so-internal dialogue kicking out.
“Well!” Claimed Artie “like many a ‘loon’ before me, I am in fact quite brilliant, and my equipment does actually work. Now STAND BACK, LANKY LOCKS!” He commanded.
No-one moved. Jade cleared her throat politely and Alex stirred. “Oh, I’m Lanky Locks?”
“Indeed! Now, sir, if you’d kindly move out of my way, I shall rid your little friend-“
“… Ain’t my friend.”
“… I shall rid your little-”
“… Pest.”
“… I shall rid your little pest, of his little PEST, as it were. Now please, MOVE ASIDE!”
Alex did as he was told.

“Nohoho, please!” Jacky sobbed. “Alex, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say you were depressing or that Jade has nice boobs, although she quite clearly does, but it was rude of me to say so. I’m sorry!”
“Calm down. You’re gonna be okay.”
“You’re not going to let this crazy man fire that thing at me, are you?”
“Jacky, I think he can help. Just chill out.”
The flamethrower seemed like a good option, in Alex's opinion.
“CHILL OUT!” Repeated Artie, somewhat manically. “EXACTLY! Do not worry my boy, this contraption is somewhat adjustable.”
He altered the ‘barrel’ and lightly fried the external portion of the grotesque arachnid, which withered.

Plisken watched coolly from one side, somehow having had time to prepare, and begin pulling at. a pipe. He gave a lip-jutting impressed nod of approval. Alex kept his distance.

The mad gent now wiggled and pulled at the withered spider butt, gently extracting it from Jacky’s head.
While the external portion was now burned, the parts which had been inside Jacky’s skull, were still fully formed and twitching gently. Alex screwed up his face in utter disgust. “Well,” said Jade, moving closer to inspect it “looks like it’s all out” she beckoned to Alex “Don’t you think?” Not wanting to seem like a wimp, Alex sploshed reluctantly over. “Yeh. Nice extraction. Don’t look like any’s left behind.” Then he stepped away, a bit quicker than he’d meant to.

Jacky turned to look at the beast which had been inside his mind. Feeling understandably unwell at the sight of it, he paled and fainted. “Poor kid.” Plisken scooped him up and propped him against the tree, where the stranger had recently sat. “He’ll be okay, I reckon. Just a bit shaken up.”
Jade went and looked Jacky over, she tended to agree but didn’t like the open wounds at the back of his head, they’d easily get infected out here.
Alex was watching her, it was interesting how her face changed when she was in medical mode. “Everything okay?” “Yes. Just worrying about the puncture wounds.”
“I’ve got a first aid kit in my bag, if you-“
“Ah it’s all right, I’ve supplies of my own.” She patted her bag and Alex realised that of course she’d have brought medical supplies to an away mission. He nodded, feeling stupid, and lit a cigarette to calm his spider-disturbed nerves, watching her disinfect and bandage the boy's head.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Out of nowhere, Jacky’s voice screamed, practically in Alex’s face. This was extra soul-wrenchingly freaktastic as Jacky wasn’t even conscious. The horrific emission was coming from a spider - much like the brain prober only far bigger - which was dangling from a thick strand attached to a web in the tree above. It had eight sparkly, ravenous, eyes. Within moments, Alex had darted aside and trained his chunky pistol on it.
“I guess the kid was right” he said, around his fag “It was the spiders screaming.”
His own unpleasant sentence sent shivers down his shoulderblades.
“Huh.” The mysterious, and quite possibly insane, gentleman casually splooshed over. “You’re not going to shoot that, are you?”
“I’m not sure” Alex admitted, not taking his eyes off the horror. “Think I should?”
“Why bother, when I’ve got this?” The newcomer shrugged and, flamethrower now on full capacity, burned the spooky smegger to oblivion.
Alex stepped back and lowered his gun. “Cool...” He looked at Jade who was staring open-mouthed at the scene. “Oh I uh, I wouldn’t normally like the burning of living creatures” he told her, truthfully. Though spiders freaked him the smeg out, he’d never hurt a normal one. “It’s just this was a brain-sucking dangerous one that was-“ “No doubt about to attack!” The other man finished his sentence for him. “And I’m not sure that’d be my normal modus operandi either, but I am currently somewhat under the influence of this strange place.”

Plisken, who had been crouched by Jacky and Jade, stood up and took the mystery man’s hand. “Thank you-“
“Artemis!” Grinned Artemis. “Dr. Artemis K Pritchard VI to be exact.” Plisken gave him a nod and a wry smile,
shaking the hand warmly. “Good to meet you Dr. Artemis K Pritchard the sixth.”
“You’re from the Dwarf?” Jade said, taking the hand he was now reaching down to her.
“That’s right. I was frozen in my lab, Holly tells me-“ He looked at his wrist. “Oh dear! Where is the poor fellow!? In my throes, I must have lost him!”
“Nah. Here.” Alex handed him over. “Thanks a bunch” the computer muttered.
Artemis smiled warmly at Alex. “And you, sir? You are?” Alex just looked at him.
“Oh, sorry.” Jade shook her head, realising they’d not introduced themselves “we’re a little swamp shocked.”
“Ah. As am I my dear girl. As am I.”
She smiled. “This” she nodded at the unconscious Jacky “is Jacky. I’m Jade…” “The name's Plisken” said Plisken “Thomas Plisken.” Alex double took. In all the time he’d known him, he’d never really thought of Plisken as having a first name. Thomas? He squinted at the older man. Yeh. It suited him. He blinked as he realised Artemis K Thingymabob the Somethingth was staring at him, expectantly again. “What?” The man raised his eyebrows and he got the message. “Oh. Alex.”
“Ah! Alexander! A good name indeed.” Artemis strode and slapped an arm around Alex’s shoulders. “Name of-“
Alex wriggled free. “Alex” he reiterated.
Plisken smiled with something approaching affection. “You’ll get used to him.”
“I’ve no doubt” Artemis smiled back “I’ve no doubt. Now, would you good folk mind if I rested for at least a moment, you see I’m still coming down from a particularly vivid blue mosquito-based hallucinatory trip and recovering from three million rather limb-affecting years on ice.”
“Of course” said Jade “Come, sit down. You can rest here with Jacky, while Alex and I go and look for the whoever sent the flares.” She glanced around, they seemed to be in a fairly secure area, if Plisken stayed with them they’d stand a chance against anything which tried to attack them. Now the screamer had been discovered, she hoped the area was devoid of creepiness, anyway. She wouldn’t bet on it, though. “I’m sure Plisken will stay with you.”
“Yes, yes.” Plisken mumbled, seemingly bad tempered, but Alex could tell he was actually pleased to have found a new friend and a tree to lean against. “You young able-bodied folk go do your thing. We’ll be fine.”
Alex wasn’t so sure. He was still feeling icked out over the spiders, his skin was crawling as if there were more, just waiting to run their nasty little mandibles all over him. “Jade," he grumbled "when people split up in horror films…”
She chuckled. “Come on. Trust me, I'm a doctor.”

---

They pushed through into the next ‘clearing’ (just another almost identical, miserable, area of swamp). “You’re sure it was this way?” Jade asked.
“Yep” said Alex.
“Hmm.”

He felt her finger unexpectedly tuck into the side of his waistband. “Maybe…” she coughed “Maybe it’s this way.” She looked flushed.
“Are you all right?” He asked, concern furrowing his brow. “Yes, could I just... Could I just sit down a minute?” “Yep, there’s a log here.”
They sat down and he gave her some water.
“You feeling light headed, love?” His eyes widened. “Uh mate, I mean.” He winced “Doctor…. Jade.”
She removed whatever contraptions were keeping her hair in its neat bun “yeah” she said, ruffling a hand at the back of her head, causing the released hair to fall straggly, about her face. “But it’s kind of nice.” With her hair down she looked somehow younger. And… sexy. Very, very, sexy. Alex swallowed.
“Uh, Jade. I think…”
She tugged at his vest, trying to pull him close to her. He looked down at the tugging hand.
“Jade…” he mumbled, “leeches.”
“I know” she smiled “Who cares?” She got up, so that she was kneeling on the log. Alex’s rucksack was resting on it too, meaning there was slack between his shoulders and the straps. The foxy lady slipped her hands beneath them and levered the pack off, so that it dropped into the mud below. Alex hardly registered this, fixed as he was on her gorgeous grey eyes. She caressed the now burden-free shoulders, and it felt good. For a moment he allowed his head to loll back as he enjoyed it, studying her face with hooded eyes. Gods, no. He realised. This wasn't...
“Jade, we need to find the bugs” he managed to croak, fighting his own body, trying hard not to touch her in return, and helpless to stop her touching him. She ran a palm along his shoulder and up his neck, gently digging her fingernails into the flesh.
Every instinct and feeling was telling him “oh heyall yes,” but somewhere, a killjoy part of his brain was calling “leeches. Glow bug love leeches. Don’t take advantage. Be respectful. She doesn’t know what she’s doing.”
“Uhh. Jade. No…”
“Shh.” She moved nearer and put one hand on his cheek, sliding the other down his vest. He caught it and shook his head slightly.
“Jade. The bugs” he breathed thickly, incapable now of speaking with normal timbre. The killjoy voice was getting fainter. The luscious lady draped her stray hand over his shoulder and inched even closer. Still he resisted, and kept his own hands to himself.
“Stop. Please” he begged. In his mind’s eye he could lipread Killjoy bellowing “BAD IDEA. BAD I-DEA!” But some other part of his body – and he was pretty sure he knew which part - had conveniently arranged earplugs. Jade put a finger to his worrying lips. He mumbled against it, looking into her eyes and at her mouth, his words pressing against the finger. “We can’t. We’re not-Mpfhf.”
She’d removed the finger and replaced it with her lips. And now, any chance of sense was lost, as his eyes closed and he wrapped his arms around her. He told Killjoy to shut up, and returned the lovely doctor's kisses, pressing against her warm, welcoming lips and pulling her closer to him still. She gasped and kissed him harder.
“Mmmff!”
They rolled off the log and began frantically undressing each other, stealing more kisses, all the while admiring, and running their hands over, each other’s body.

Meanwhile
Jacky had come around, Artemis had regained some energy, and Plisken had become restless, so the eccentric group had decided they were well enough to trail after the others. They’d find them in no time!

As the others hadn’t actually got very far, they did indeed soon stumble upon them.

“Eww gross!” Jacky pulled an unimpressed face.
“What?” Said Plisken. Jacky pointed. “Look! Those two! Rolling around in the mud!”
Alex was indeed lying in the mud, as if unaware it was there, with Jade quite happily perched on top of him, tugging at his bottom lip with her teeth. Occasionally they’d stop kissing and groping to smile or snarl at each other, before continuing the steam-fest. “Oh, I see.” Remarked Plisken, in a not-especially-interested voice, as if he saw this kind of thing every day.
“Oh God, they’ve got more leeches on them.” Sighed Jacky, grimacing as he remembered Plisken’s beard in his face.
Artie came bundling through the bushes, catching them up after having dropped Holly in the mud and stopping to look for him. “I’ve got him!” When the others didn’t answer, he paused and followed their gaze.
“Holly, honey, you didn’t tell me there’d be a show!”

“We should probably stop them” said Plisken, tilting his head to watch the couple roll over, all entwined muddy limbs and wild hair “before they… complete their transaction.”
“Eugh, yes.” Jacky agreed, shuddering at the thought of seeing Alex completely naked, but also a little sad to think he wouldn’t get to see Jade without her bra on.

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