Jaxx's Excellent Adventuer

<SNIP>
I'd been pretty out of it last time I'd wandered up here but it was looking familiar. Ah yeah, the clearing and the rock...
As I wandered across I squinted around, hoping the bird wasn't lurking somewhere, it seemed clear.

And there, behind the large flat rock, was my blanket.
<SNIP>

Jaxx stood patiently as Phi gave Jaxx another check up. Jaxx asked, “Gee Doc you like giving a lot of exams.” Phi smirked and said, “Don’t take this the wrong way but I have never seen anyone with such unstable DNA before. I just hope your body has finally stabilized.” Jaxx asked Phi, “Whatcha mean Doc? Do I turn into a big green monster?” Phi shook her head and said, “Actually you were blue.” Jaxx looked at Phi strangely and asked, “Could you help me fill in the blanks Doc?”

Phi then told Jaxx about how they first met on the Blue Dwarf, His fight with the GELFs, his exposure to the green gas, his mutations from the green gas, his arrival at the camp with a fever and a strange dart and his hallucinations that led him to the lake till he arrived as he is. Jaxx listened quietly as Phi continued with her theories. When Phi finished Jaxx smiled and said, “Whooa that is so wicked. I must be one intense dude.” Phi nodded with raised eyebrows as she agreed with Jaxx. Then Phi said, “Oh by the way you should be careful when you get near the lake again there is some kind of giant lake squid in there. It almost got Alex last time.” Jaxx looked at Phi and said, “That is so gnarly. Which one is Alex again?” Phi said, “The guy walking around in his boxer shorts.” Jaxx paused for a moment then responded, “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah. The hobo dude.” Phi covered her moth to hide he giggle from anyone.

Jaxx looked at the lake and paused in thought for a while. Phi looked at Jaxx and asked, “Are you worried about the squid?” Jaxx shook his head and said, “Nawww. I bet it looks awesome.” Phi looked a bit concerned as she told Jaxx, “Just watch yourself.” Jaxx then walked over to the water and stepped out in the water up to his knees to examine the lake. After Jaxx didn’t see the squid he turned around to tell Phi, “I don’t see it.” Phi shook her head as she muttered, “Its hard to believe he actually got dumber.” Then a large tentacle came out of the water and slowly approached Jaxx from behind. Suddenly Jaxx felt like he was not alone as he turned around and saw the giant squid tentacle up close as it wrapped around him and yanked him into the water.

Phi tried to warn Jaxx but it was too late he was gone in a flash. Phi looked in horror at the ripples in the water. In the background Cass gave a dark smirk and mumbled something mean to herself, as the others went to see if Jaxx could be seen.

Jaxx was dragged all the way to the center of the deep lake. Finally Jaxx saw the squid up close. The squid looked like it had spider legs attached to the bottom of it, which allowed it to crawl in the bottom of the lake. Jaxx stared in wonder as the squid wrapped its tentacle around him even more. Jaxx was amazed at the design of the creature as it slowly pulled him to it mouth. Jaxx thought to himself, “This is so cool.” Suddenly the squid stopped and passed gas.

Jaxx and the squid looked at each other eye to eye and burst out in laughter for a minute. A voice in Jaxx’s head asked, “Oceans to Murgatroyd! Aren’t you not afraid to die even?” Jaxx shook his head and thought, “Naawww. I barely know who I was so there won’t be much regretten.” The squid then telepathically scanned Jaxx’s mind and found very little knowledge. The squid then thought, “I say even, what is your name little man?” Jaxx smiled and thought, “I’m Jaxx and your are?” The squid stared at Jaxx intently to see if he would give up his goofy grin. Then the squid thought, “The name is Franky and I have not laughed so hard in a long time even.” Jaxx thought, “That can’t be good for ya bro. You have ta just let it flow sometimes. Oh wait you just did.” Both Jaxx and Franky burst out in laughter again. Then Franky calmed down, used a spare tentacle to wipe his eye and thought, “Well it was nice meeting you Jaxx, but it’s time to eat you even.” Jaxx thought, “Ok dude, you do what ya gotta do.” Suddenly Franky stopped and released Jaxx as it thought, “Oceans to Murgatroyd! I can’t do it. I can’t eat you even?” Jaxx thought, “Its ok Franky dude. Maybe you are in the mood for something else.”

Franky thought, “No I’m afraid that’s not it Jaxx. I am just binge eating because I can’t deal with my other problem even.” Jaxx thought, “Then tell me your tale of woe and perhaps it will ease your mind.” Franky nodded and told Jaxx about how his people the Calamar were dying off from the war with the Simulants and he was with an envoy of settlers to teraform new worlds but were attacked and crashed on this planet. Now he is the last Calamar and is getting old and is worried his knowledge will die with him. His only hope was to find a sentient aquatic creatures he could pass on their knowledge and beliefs. The Calamar Monks practice a martial art called Zen-Kata, which is like a fishman Kung-Fu but is twice as effective underwater. They meditate underwater and feel the motion of water currents. They do not use firearms or bladed weapons. They believe in the Water Goddess "Aquafina" and pay homage to her with ceremonial dancing and drinking of water in hopes to join her in the afterlife. They do not believe in hoarding possessions. They only use violence when necessary and try to avoid it and they try to keep their mind at peace even in stressful times.

Jaxx thought, “Whoooooaaaa dude. That was an intense story Franky. I wish I could help ya out but these days my mind is a bit on the empty side. Franky looked at Jaxx and scanned his mind then thought, “Hmmmm your right even. Oceans to Murgatroyd! You know I can work with that even. I’ll tell ya what Jaxx my friend I’ll spare you and your crew if you agree to become my student.” Jaxx nodded and thought, “That would be an excellent adventure my friend. Just out of curiosity how long does it take to learn this stuff?” Franky thought, “Normally about ten of your earth years to be a Monk and twenty to become a Master. Of course you would start as a Pollywan or Apprentice even.” Jaxx had a frown and thought, “Awww man I don’t know if the others will wait that long to go home.” Franky thought for a moment then thought, “Well I could imprint your mind with the knowledge provided your mind is strong enough.” Jaxx smiled again and thought, “So I will be like you then?” Franky shook his head and thought, “Oceans to Murgatroyd! I’m afraid that is not how it works. Everything has a pace and power that is not earned has dire consequences even.” Jaxx thought, “Wooow dude that was soooooo deep.” Franky nodded and thought, “The secrets will be locked in your mind till you complete each lesson correctly and only then will you open the next lesson even. This way you can continue your training in my absence and carry our ways across the cosmos even.”

Jaxx nodded and thought, “Then I accept Franky dude.” Franky held Jaxx up and held up another tentacle up to his head and latched a suction cup to Jaxx’s forehead. Jaxx had a glazed look on his face was a barrage of information flooded his mind in a matter of a minute. Franky released Jaxx slowly as he watched Jaxx recover. Jaxx looked a bit dazed and confused as he thought, “That was so surreal bro.” Franky thought, “Indeed even. Now learn my lessons well and if you can find the Delphs, a race of humanoid Dolphin/Seal GELFs created for water farming by JMC, please spread my teachings to them even. They were abandoned by JMC and we were hoping to find them before we crashed even.” Jaxx nodded and thought, “No problema bro.”

Franky then thought, “Oh Oceans to Murgatroyd! You have brought this old Calamar peace of mind even. Now lets get you back to your friends before they think you left to the world beyond even. Jaxx thought, “Thanx Franky dude. Your most righteous and squishy.” Franky extended his arm to Jaxx to hold onto and thought, “Exit Stage left even.” Then he quickly swam back to the bank near the campsite dragging Jaxx along by his tentacle. Jaxx was moving so fast that when he got closer to the water surface he started water skiing with his feet. The crew was in shock by Jaxx water skiing with a monster squid all the way to the bank. Jaxx arrived out of the water and waved bye as he yelled, “Later Franky dude.” Franky waved a tentacle and went back under the lake. Then Jaxx adjusted his shades then walked up to the crew and said, ”Hola peoples. Did ya miss me?”