My Kingdom for a Lilo.

He was the thing that lurked in the dark.

Before Jay herded them deep into the caves.

Sent by a concerned, sunburned, Seymour, to retrieve the adventurous girl for a second time, he'd been about to step into an unusual room when he'd heard her, Jacky and White Wolf talking about him from within. He paused in the shadows to listen.

"He tried to get with me, anyway."
He cringed - a not insignificant portion of embarrassment and guilt still nestled in his gut over this. He'd been meaning to apologise and explain himself, but the recent... drama... with the hole and the green thing, had prevented that so far.
He remained motionless, and observed them discussing him, it was quite a weird feeling. He wouldn't normally give a monkey's about a bit of idle chatter, but the sneaking tendrils of withdrawal were beginning to prod and poke at him, making him edgy. Plus he had a crappy temper-ruining headache now that his anger had dissipated and a post-nut bruise was pulsing over his forehead.

"Alex?" Jacky asked. "Can he...?"
He scowled, unseen.
What do they mean 'can he'?
Can I what?

"I suppose he could, if he..."
I could what if I smeggin' what? ... They talking about sex?
Irked paranoia tickled its way through his veins.
Do they think I'm... impotent?
Does he mean if I... stuck a smeggin' splint on it?

Maybe it's not that. Maybe they think I'm a mechanical with no working... groinal attachment.
Maybe I am a mechanical. A fully-endowed-thank-you-very-much mechanoid.
He gently shook the absurd thought from his head. You're not a mechanoid...
He considered it for a moment. ...You're probably not a mechanoid.

They continued.
"But he's so..."
So...
What? Drunk? I wish.
There was more.
"I know what you mean. But, you know..."
"He just never seemed the type. I'm a bit surprised."

Never seemed the type? What did THAT mean?
Did they think he was asexual? He surpressed a snort - how times had changed...
Wait... Maybe they thought he was homosexual. Erm...

As these thoughts were flickering through his mind, White Wolf, humiliatingly, then took it upon himself to enquire:
"Well, did you say yes?"
"Of course not!"

Another cringe wrung his torso.
'Of course not.' Oh, of COURSE not.

It was certainly a humbling experience. It embarrassed him to think that at one time he'd been a bit of a prat, often taking female attention for granted. At times hypocritcally, even after he'd learned how to be respectful to women and considered it important to do so. And now here he was, castaway, stuck as a beardy, ugly - allegedly 'uncly' - tramp, in a pair of snowman-decorated boxers a la twelve year old. Phi was probably right, Karma probably did exist and it was certainly chuckling away to itself right now. Karma was bound to be female – it was too clever to be male.
Thank you Lady Karma. You can stop smirking now.

A buzzsaw of a sentence sliced through his drifting thoughts, bringing him back to the room:
"... I don't know much of anything about Alex. Not sure he likes me very much."
Oh great. Now he felt double-wretched.
Other than his idiotic attempt to launch himself at Molly, Jacky had no reason to think Alex disliked him. Did he?

He thought back to his past interactions with the sciency type....
He recalled giving him a grunt, a nod, a mumbled "pass the toast" here and there, a slight eyebrow or head raise in response to the lad's occasional polite smiles his way. Plonking him in a chair by the back of his labcoat and shirt...
What was wrong with any of that? Perfectly normal.

Besides, he didn't like Jacky, but only insomuch as he didn't particularly like anybody. He didn't dislike him...
Liking people meant trusting them. Trusting people meant inevitable hurt.
He respected people, like Jay, and he sometimes felt empathy for them, but liking them was another matter altogether.
He made a mental note: Try and be nice to Jacky when the chance arises.

As 'people he didn't like' went, Jacky was probably edging nearer to 'like' than some others - which made Alex a double w*nker for trying to... uh... coax... Molly.
He made another mental note, to apologise soon, when he got a chance.

And after that... he was gonna smeggin' ask them what the hell they'd meant about him. 'Can he?' Indeed.
He was also gonna ask Jacky to share. If he couldn't get anything stronger he'd welcome some of his secret stash.

While he'd become lost in his not altogether sound thoughts, the others had wandered out of the chamber, off into the connecting one. As he was about to emerge from the darkness Jay had whisked past and after them. He followed, and was soon ushered off with the others, deeper into the planet.

–
After Jay had rounded them up.
The blue demonic creatures were freaky. The green thing had been freaky. The whole thing was freaky. Alex just wanted to go lie somewhere by some water, with some shades on, a fag in his mouth, and a strong drink in his hand. Was that too much to ask? Really? Had he done so much evil in his life that he was now banished to this strange planet of demons and rapists? He didn't think so. In his opinion a smegging hammock would have been more appropriate right about now. Maybe a lilo...
He pushed the fantasy into a bottom drawer and tried to think clearly about the situation at hand. Even if the EM field were turned off they couldn't go back to the Dwarf yet anyway, had that even been possible.

He took a long look around the cavern and decided he wasn't too keen on these caves or their contents. The sudden urge to leave the blue smeggers to it and go enjoy the sunshine kicked him urgently in the shins.
Here be dragons.

He turned about, but Phil – who was for some reason a little shorter and more mystical looking at the moment – was blocking his way and before he could shuffle past him, or enquire whether he'd managed to create any alcohol, everyone began gawping at something behind him. He turned his neck to see what they were staring at... It was Cass in, what some might call, overly revealing underwear.
Holy... He averted his gaze quickly, noticing with irritation that the other guys still slavered. A frown mounted his throbbing forehead.

Cindy, the part-telepathic GELF, had told Alex the shark guy reckoned he had a thing for Cass. He'd also heard some similar nonsense from Jacky who'd seemed under the impression something was going on, and even Seymour had once asked if he was soft on her. However – despite her clearly... pleasing... physical attributes, which sometimes caused the same understandable reactions that most attractive females could - his true feelings towards her were more... brotherly. An estranged brother perhaps but brother over... whatever else.
In his experience people often mistook genuine, simple, concern, for flirtation or suggested desire – which had actually benefited him several times during his womanising days – but it could be frustrating in the wrong situations. For instance the 6'7, 350lb male bricklayer, who'd followed him to the urinals that time back on Mimas, after he'd helped repair his hopper. Boy that'd been awkward.
Besides, Cass was like... two years old, or something... that was all kinds of wrong, but it spurred him to feel protective of her sometimes, as did the hurt he'd noticed plaguing her during a more vulnerable time she'd gone through. He still felt for her where Jay was concerned. The situation appeared... complex. He knew hurt and didn't enjoy seeing it in others. In fact he felt similarly about all his crewmates when he noticed they were in pain or suffering.
He still didn't like them, though.

“Stop it” he mumbled at the ogling morons but they didn't hear - or if they did, they didn't take any notice. He was about to repeat himself but luckily Cass changed position pretty quickly, then took Jay off for a quiet word.

–
–

Jaxx just posted. This takes place just before that.