There and back again, a Hamster tale.

OOC- In this post, I decided to throw in what I hope is a nice a little treat for the BD 'history buffs'. A JP blast from the past. Hope nobody minds the extra reading material. :)

RPG:
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"So I take it from Cass's reaction, that she prefers one of the other ex-captains of the Blue Dwarf you told me about when we first met?" Asked Candy as she and the Large Hamster clambered through the heavy vegetation of the Jungle like terrain.

"Yep. Though, I think she has a crush on Jay." Replies White Wolf while pausing to pick up some interesting looking rocks.

"Jay? Who is he?"

"Well, unlike Seymour, he's one of the more competent ex-captains that the remaining Dwarfers sort of look to for leadership right now, probably because I was away on Roo, for far too long."

"As I recall, when you were showing me my quarters, you said something about Jay not wanting the job?"

"No, he didn't exactly. Heck, I even remember like it was yesterday, the time he told me he didn't even want to be my Executive Officer when I offered the job to him and he didn't think he'd be able to grow into it, though he obviously has..." Replied the Six foot one inch hamster recalling the memory.

{This MegaSuperSized FlashBackStyle Snip is brought to you by Ronnie Reagans mental laxatives}
Jay entered Captain White Wolfs office while in Rio's body, White Wolf looked up, from his paperwork and asked,
"Can I help you, Miss?"

Jay looked at the floor and shuffled his feet."Um..Captain.."
"Yes? Speak up I wont bite!"
"Well Captain.." Jay coughed, embarrassed "Um..It's Jay....you wanted to see me"
"It's Miss Rio, Isn't it? What is this about Jay? "
"Well yes captain, I LOOK like Rio Lomaz, but I'm NOT Rio Lomaz, I'm Chrysler!" Jay said embarrassment overloading.

"Excuse me? You're saying your Jay?" As White Wolf grabs out a Psych evaluation form from his drawer...

"Look, Captain, you can put away the psych evaluation, Lomaz is no more nuts than any of the pilots, but, you remember the pilots were ordered to have a psych-session with Doc Cerebrum?"

White Wolf nodded, raising whatever passes for an eyebrow on a hamster "Yesssssssss....."

"HE JUGGLED US!"

"Juggled? Like physically picked up and tossed you about?"

"Well... he did do that to Dean yeah, but he's switched our minds all over... Ambers really Dean, Deans Really Kara, Kara's really Efof, Efof's really Rio, Rio's really me, and I'm really Amber!"
"The only thing worse would have been switching me with Keto!"

White Wolf had a confused expression on his whiskered face and asked "Your really really Amber? But I thought you just said you were Jay?!?"

"I'm Jay, yes, but Amber is in my body!" he said "If you find it hard to believe ask me something only you and Jay would know, something only the Captain and the CNO would know!"

"Right, what's your command code to activate the self destruct mechanism then?"

"Chrysler three seven kilo lima"

White Wolf quickly opened his desk drawer, and grabs out a operations manual, and reads a section of it. And looks up, "I certainly hope our CNO isn't in the habit of Handing out the codes then, because those are the right ones. Okay, I believe you for now..."

THANK YOU!" Jay said, exasperated, "Trouble is Captain..this is pretty embarrassing for us all as you can imagine, we'd kinda like to keep it hush hush...heaven knows how I'd tell Alota about this.."

"Your wife catches you in another womans body, oh I wish I could be the fly on the wall of that conversation..."

"And frankly I'm worried about Amber in mine..."

"Indeed? What do you think she's going to do when she has to confront Phil?"

"It wont be a pretty sight..." Jay mused, "But was there a reason you called me here?"

"Oh, right. I almost forgot! Do you remember I earlier asked you to check out everybody and give me your recommendations for who to promote and such?"

"Yeah, Zodar got the Chief Engineer job, Katrina got Chief of sanitation, was there a problem with the report?"

"No, I just wanted to make sure. Do you have any other recommendations?"

"Dean..maybe should got a promotion to 'average intelligence'....he muttered, sitting in the chair opposite White Wolfs desk, standing up and adjusting it as he'd done with his own chair before.

"Excuse me Captain, I'm not used to the sudden lack in altitude!"

"I understand completely." replies the huge hamster as he scratches his chin for a moment, and then leans forward, "Well, I've got say, Rio... I mean... Jay, that you've done really well as executive officer. Would you like be the first officer on a more permanent basis?"

"Wow..." Jay said, shocked. "And I thought you called me here to ask about the 4 missing starbugs....."

"Missing starbugs?" White Wolf asked in an annoyed tone.

"er...whu..what missing starbugs?" Jay said quickly covering his back. "Captain, I really appreciate the offer...." he said, "but.."

"But What?"

"I...I'm just a flyboy.." he said, looked down at himself then looked back at WW, "at least I WAS a flyBOY.., but what I mean is I don't have the qualifications, navigating, sure, I can do that blindfold, piloting blindfolded AND with both arms tied behind my back, but...executive officer... I... I dunno..."

"Well, I used to sorta be a fly boy myself"

"I know, but piloting isn't just my career, it's my life..." he said, "Besides, being in charge of the flight crew is hard enough! The amount of paperwork I have to fill in from Dean related mishaps..like when he got his hand stuck in the drinks machine....I don't know If I could take the responsibility of the entire crew.."

The huge hamster pushed back in his chair, "Hmm... I suppose I can understand you wouldn't want the burden of command. I didn't wish to be a Captain for quite a while after that failed mission of mine many years ago. Plus I also know that if I push someone too much, their liable to crack under the pressure. Are you sure you don't want the job, Jay? You might rise the occasion, I've seen many people do it before."

"Alota will kill me for turning it down....but, I'm a pilot, through and through, I wouldn't...couldn't, give up flying", Jay paused before continuing "There are better people for the XO job, people who have had the training, who have worked hard for the opportunity, if I took it I wouldn't feel right about it."

"Really? Like who? Go ahead, tell me your recommendations, this is the kind of stuff I was looking for when I asked you to give me that report."

"There are two people I feel can do the job, the love of your life, or the love of mine."

"Allie and Alota." Said the overgrown hamster leaning back in his chair, "And both present their complexities. If I promote Allie to being the XO, people can rightly say I'm running a good ole boy's network. And going on your recommending your own wife presents me with a nearly similar problem..."

"Difficult I know, but I don't think anyone else is right for the job"

"Are you sure you want to have your wife have more responsibility, and more authority then you? More specifically both in and out of your house?" Asked the rotund hamster slyly.

"Alota giving me orders? Wouldn't be much of a change!" Jay said "But seriously, I support my wife entirely, I'd be proud of her, not resentful. I'm happy as long as I still get the final say in all aerial strategy and navigation issues"

"Well then, Jay. I think the only other question I'd like to ask about Alota - Does she want the Job?"

"Well captain, you'd need to ask her about that". He said, "While I tell Rio I've scuffed one of her shoes..."

"In other words, you have no idea either." remarked the huge hamster, "Okay then, I will ask her. Do you wish me to wait until after you've explained to her about your ... situation?"

"Oh yeah... that... uh... could you ask her first? Maybe then she'll be happy enough to not care!"

"Do you want me to tell her, that you also recommended her, to help soften the blow when she realizes that you must have turned it down?"

"And perhaps put the toilet seat down for me before she sees it as well?"

The huge hamster blinks, and mutters, "The toilet seat?!?"

"Yeah...she hates that" Jay said, "Guess at least THAT isn't gonna be a problem for a while..."

"Alright. But wouldn't it be already down, with your current condition?" The Hamster than shakes his head, and finishes, "Forget I said that! Mind filling me in on how Cerebrum has done this in the first place? Because I think I'm gonna have to have a talk with him about it. I can't have him changing the sex of my CNO without my permission. Besides, I'd prefer your wife doesn't kill him, either."

"Uh...well...we were in the psych-meeting we'd agreed on, and he started jabbering about nothing, he strapped us into these huge, electric char gizmos and next thing I knew, I was Rio."

"He strapped you in some Electric chairs?!? Wheel chairs right?" Asks the huge hamster.

"Er, no not, wheelchairs, proper, high voltage electric chairs"

"He's isn't supposed to be in capital punishment... Alright do you wish to file a grievance against him?"

"Believe me as soon as I'm tall, blonde, handsome and MALE again I will!"

With that Jay got up, and stumbled out of the room, having difficulty with Rio's shoes.

{END UltraMegaSize MemoryFlashBack Snip}

"Those vines over, and sapling trees over there look like something we might be able to fashion some rope and maybe a good Atlatl or two." Remarked Candice while motioning toward them and shaking White Wolf out of his little reverie.

"Yes. And I think the quartz I'm finding strewn around here might make for some very sharp stone age style spear heads or blades. But this something about this non volcanic quartz is vaguely familiar to me for some reason."

Candice knelt down beside him and peered at it for a moment, "Your right. This stuff looks an awful lot like some of the Roo Sembot files depicting damage from Annie bombings during the Great Hymenopteran War. You don't think this planet might be one of the old battlefields between the Roo and them?"

White Wolf gave a shrug, "It's just as likely that this planet is a graveyard of any space faring ship that happened to get fouled up by the EM field flux."

"Fair Enough. I suppose a ship with an Annie plant could have blown up nearby. Do you think we should search for any salvageable wreckage then?"

The Tawny hamster shook his head. "Enough time has passed for all this overgrowth, it probably wouldn't been worth it in the short term. But that on the hand, is." finished the hamster pointing at a life and death struggle between something that looked like a furry prairie chicken and a huge snake that was slowly devouring it.

Candy smiled while picking up several chucks of the quartz, "Right, I'll club it with the rocks, and you see if you distract it."

"How do you think I'm going to distract it?"

"You've got claws. I wanna make sure you know how to use them."

"Remind me to tweak down those innuendo routines of yours when we get back to the Dwarf." said White Wolf slowly circling off towards the snake.

"Oh don't you dare! I think your absolutely enjoying this..." Whispered Candy saucily.

The snake clearly was not, since it was quickly beaten and clawed senseless while it tried to disgorge it's furry prairie chicken meal as it attempted to flee very unsuccessfully from it's pair of attackers.

After they made sure it was well and truly dispatched after a few surprise twitchings, White Wolf said, "I better gut and prep it for eating since I can easily, but I can't say that for your clothing which we'll want to try and minimize the wear and tear on.".

Candice laughed, "I'm sure I could make something out of these oversized leaves and still be a finalist of any Miss Cavegirl competition that happens to come up." and examining the furry prairie chicken remains and comparing them to the bird like tracks on ground nearby, "As a matter fact, I'll just fashion myself sling right now and see if I can nab the rest of the flock of whatever these are, for more food."

Within a couple of hours, Candice had several field dressed chicken like birds and one large snake wrapped up in large leaf and vine tied packages, while White Wolf was tentatively sampling a kind of star apple like fruit she'd collected and was busily checking over the heft of an Atlatl & spear that he had made.

"I think this will help us bring down one of those bull beasts we saw a while ago, though I think I might have to work on pressure knapping a few axe blades in case the guys won't trust these to do the job."

"You'd think running around killing stuff with penis shaped things would make them happy enough."

"I'll bet Justin would love to do that if you could. Speaking of which, I hope that lil' blighter is actually doing something about venting that toxic gas and not simply fobbing off now that he's by himself again on the dwarf."

"Oh, I'm sure that Cass is working on salvaging something from our crashed transportation, she sounds like she wanted to turn me into a right science project dancing bot of hers."

"Don't be so hard on her. She may have nearly permanently smegged up the universe in the future collaborating with Phil on one of his more dangerous temporal artifact ideas which Evil Phil then stole, built, and nearly wiped out everybody with a maniacal smile on his face. She really was trying to help, even if her means didn't exactly justify her end."

"Wait. In the FUTURE?!?" questioned Candice.

"Oh. Right. I keep forgetting! I've looped through time like Phil has so often, that I'm getting a little Swiss cheesed like Dr. Sam Beckett. Its really hard to explain - you know that theory where something can pass through all the points of the universe at once?"

Candice nodded slightly with a touch a puzzlement on her face.

"I've experienced something like that, but on a Multi-verse, alternate universe dimensional kind of way thanks to the Merry Jerks of the STCP while they were experimenting on me." continued with the Big hamster with a touch of both anger and dispair.

Candice suddenly looked upset, "Wait, I didn't mean to pry..."

White Wolf held a paw up, "No. It's one of the reasons why I put you back together as it were. Its prett-near impossible for an Atemporal like me to not cope with feelings like that. Your one of the few that won't age out on me, making you an excellent companion, considering. Plus, I'm a helluva lot less likely to repeat one of my biggest mistakes - getting gobsmackingly stupid drunk while I was feeling lonely, passing out, then having a Lovestuck Roo girl who wanted to have my children cut me open and steal what she needed to do just that, and thus me being responsible for an entire civilization and all the destruction to do with it." Then he went quiet.

"Maybe we should pack things up and start heading back." Offered Candy after a long uneasy feeling silence, and White Wolf quickly nodded.

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Some time later, as they arrived back at the makeshift camp carrying the spoils of their first successful 'hunting trip', White Wolf Shouted to the assembled group "Looks like we got a choice between fish, snake, chicken or this weird Star apple fruit to eat. Great job with the happy home escape pod shelter there." Gesturing towards Davie and Jaxx's handiwork.

"Yeah, now all we need a frigerator and some Beer, and it'll feel like we're all on a tropic island vacation!" remarked Candy placing the packages close to the camp fire, "Does anyone need any help with anything?"

{Snip}
Seymour looked up as Alex tramped into the camp. He looked even more awful than before. He'd lost his blanket, he was covered in dirt and... were those feathers?
“Good God man, what happened to you?”
“Long story.”
“You've been gone hours.”
“I was getting firewood.” He threw three pathetic sticks at Whitewolf's feet.
“Uh...” He nodded to the roaring fire. Alex shrugged.
“Nice boxers...” Jaxx told him.
{End Snip}

The overgrown hamster turned toward Jay, "Oh, speaking of which - Some of you, besides me, are going to be in the au naturel soon if we don't come up with some way making some replacement clothing. Candy & I saw a Bull like creature whose skins we might use for that, but we'll have to some teamwork to take one of the fiesty buggers down. This Atlatl I made might do the job if we can keep it in range long enough. Got any ideas?"

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[Tag Jay, or Anyone]

OOC- I could help but include the whole past JP concerning Jay's job offer, because it seemed wrong to take any of that funny situation out of context. -WW