Too Much 'Love' Will Kill You

When: Before Seymour and Phil had gone off to prepare people.
Where: Canteen.

“Your hair was a bit shorter when you came out of stasis, can't you at least cut it to there?”
“No.”
“It's just to your chin.”
“No.”
“But, the inspector!”
“No.”
Seymour felt like he was trying to persuade a sulky teenager. He didn't have time for this.
“Well, Mr Solvay, I suggest you get a uniform and smarten up.”
Fortunately for Alex there was such awkward post-shower tension between them, that Seymour left it there. The naked Phil wheeled him off to go and prepare people for the visit.
*Gentle slap, gentle slap, creak. Gentle slap, gentle slap, creak.*

“Heeyy there little lady!” The shark guy, Jaxx, danced over to Katrina. “Mind if I-”
“Smeg off, dog-food face.”
“What!?” Jaxx was taken aback.
“I'm not a 'little lady', I am a woman, which is exactly like a man only more dangerous. Sooner you learn that, the better... for all of us. Now back off.”
“All right, all right. Sorry...” Jaxx went and sat with Bedge, bewildered.
“What did I do?”
Alex – extra grumpy due to his still not having had a cigarette – decided to chip in.
“She's right. Talking down to equals, and superiors, like that. It'll land you in trouble.”
“Talking down?” Jaxx's face was keen and uncomprehending. "I didn't mean to be talking down to anyone."
“Put it this way, I knew a guy who ended up in intensive care for calling a girl 'love'.”
Jaxx frowned.
“He almost died.” Alex finished.
Bedge was puzzled. “Marshter Solvay?”
“Yes?”
“Wimmen are superiors?”
“No, they're equal. The same. No better, no worse.”

–

When: Before the emergency meeting (as Seymour and Phil are doing the rounds).
Where: Alex's quarters.

Alex took a look at himself in the mirror, no wonder Seymour wanted him to smarten up – his hair was unbrushed, his jogging pants were bordering on the chavvy and didn't hide his glo-wang, his t shirt had a few blood stains on it, he was pale, he needed a shave, and he had shadows under his eyes that only a panda would find attractive. Probably not even a panda.
He looked around his quarters, there was stuff scattered everywhere. He groaned. As he tidied, he found himself wondering if during their shower he should have asked Seymour for a playfight. Perhaps they could have convinced Jay to join in, and White Wolf and Pancake and... PANCAKE? Ah. The rampant Philemones were obviously still in his system, then, they'd probably only shut up because he'd been so exhausted. Phi had talked him into eating a proper meal and taking a nap, it must have given him a bit of energy, allowing the urges to creep back. He did a jerking little jump to try and physically push the image of him wrestling his crewmates out of his head.
“Yeheerrrgh. Go'way, go'way.”
Holly piped up. “All right dude? What you doin'?”
“You don't wanna know.”
“Yes I do, that's why I asked. You look most peculiar jumpin' about in your pyjamas like that.”
“They're not pyjamas.”

---
¾ hr later

*Gentle slap, gentle slap, creak. Gentle slap, gentle slap, creak.*
“Holly, lock the door please.” He wasn't risking Seymour and a naked Phil coming near him while he was only in a post-yet-another-shower towel.
*Gentle slap, gentle slap, creak. Gentle slap, gentle slap, creak*
Good, they'd gone past. Why did Phil slap so much, even when he was walking slowly? He'd have to have a good old investi- No he wouldn't.
He finished shaving, part of his mind wondering if Jaxx would want to bite him if he cut himself, another part fantasising about the holiday he was craving. He finished up then pulled on the uniform he'd been... issued.

He stared in the mirror again, yeah, that was smarter. Clean shaven, hair slicked back a little in an attempt at a partial compromise with Seymour, neat uniform, and boots that he'd buffed almost to mirrors, even Seymour would have to approve of them. Oh, his earring. He put it on the side, next to his palmputer.
“There is an emergency meeting in the canteen. There is an emergency meeting in the canteen.” Holly alerted the ship.
Solvay nodded and headed that way. His stride fell into a subconscious march.

---
During the emergency meeting.

He'd fallen asleep and missed most of the meeting after Seymour's dangerous request.
“Uh, smeg.” His head had lolled onto Bedge's shoulder. He realised, sat up and clicked his neck.

“All this planning has taken so long, the inspector will be here in 5 minutes.” Seymour was saying.

–
–