Awkward shower scene

Who: Seymour and Alex
Where: Seymour's temporary quarters
When: As Jaxx is being checked by Phi

Alex pushed Seymour's wheelchair up to the door, and opened it. “Much appreciated Mr Solvay, I just don't have the strength in my arms to push my own wheelchair, this sodding disgraceful gentleman-problem we are all suffering with is leaving me quite light-headed.”

“No problem” Alex muttered, and wheeled Seymour in. “Wow, you've got a lot of...” the words that came to Alex's mind first was “posh shit”, but he settled for “ornaments”.
“Oh yes!” Seymour boasted, “These are extremely valuable antiquities that I've collected over the years. I had Mr Bedge liberate some from my vast Ambassadorial apartment on C-Deck, did you know I had an Ambassador suite? These are just temporary quarters until it gets fumigated... and the faeces monsters are turfed out.”

Alex prepared to leave. He was still wearing his hospital gown, and was keen to change into something more appropriate.
“I expect you'll be wanting to go to your own quarters and have a cold shower?” Alex nodded. “Yes me too....” he shifted uncomfortably in his wheelchair. “I um... would you.... actually no.”
“What?”
“I um... no, don't trouble yourself?”
“What?”
“Well, I uhh.... what's to say...”
“Spit it out Seymour!”
Seymour bit his lip. “Well, you see I've got a problem.”
“We've all got a problem.” Alex said, pointing down to the lump under his robe.
“Yes, well, the problem is. I'm disabled, and you see, it's difficult for me to... um... have a shower.”

Alex was quiet, he didn't like the way this was going.
“You see, because I have no legs, I have to use a seat in the shower, and, well I don't currently... um... have the strength to lift myself on there... would you possibly...”
Alex sighed and looked towards the door. All he wanted to do was leave, but Seymour was a disabled person, and he couldn't just leave him, he might hurt himself.

With a groan, Alex nodded and pushed Seymour top the shower where he reluctantly helped him undress. Things had already been weird enough today already, but now two heterosexual men were in a shower, with erections. Despite everything they'd seen already, this was the most awkward part of the day.
Completely naked, Seymour now outstretched his arms. Alex cringed, then picked him up and placed him onto the shower seat, his erection prodding into Alex's side, which Alex tried desperately not to think about. He thought instead about how Seymour was surprisingly light, legs must weight more than he realised.

“Um... this is awkward isn't it.” Seymour said.
Alex nodded furiously.
There was silence as they both tried not to look at each other in the bathroom.
“Um... Mr Solvay, could you do one more thing?”
“Em... okay.”
“Could you turn the shower on? I can't reach.”
Alex leaned forward, pressing his body against Seymour's head, the protruding point of his man-tent poking Seymour in the face.

Water splashed down onto both of them, drenching them but doing nothing to quell the glowing erections.

Alex stepped out of the water, and looked back at Seymour who looked as embarrassed as he did. Neither of them spoke as he left the room, until Seymour called out. “Thanks Mr Solvay. And... let's never speak of this again.”

----------------------

When: Next morning
Where: Canteen

Seymour pushed himself into the canteen where the others were already sat around a table. Bedge was wearing a frilly pink apron and serving up some food.
The first thing Seymour noticed was the sleepiness of the other men, who were staring unintelligibly ahead at the plates in front of them. A glow still coming from the lap of each of them. At the far end of the table, a perky and happy looking Katrina and Cass were chatting away quite normally. Phi noticed Seymour enter and walked over.
“How are you feeling today?” She asked, bending down at first, then realising she was blinded by the glow emanating from his trousers.
“Probably on par with this lot.” Seymour admitted. “Why hasn't it gone away?” He pointed to his 'problem'.
Phi gave him a sympathetic smile. “I don't want to alarm you, but priapism is a serious medical problem.”
“You mean I could die?” said Seymour. “From an erection?”
She nodded. “You all could. But it's easily cured with a medicine called Pseudoephedrine.”
“Jolly good. Do we have any?”
Phi shook her head. “Remember Dr Keto escaped in the main medi-bay? He took most of the medicine supplies with him.”
“Blast!” Seymour said, putting his hand to his forehead as he felt woozy. He then turned his head to Holly, who was idle on a computer monitor on the wall. “Mr Holly, I don't suppose there's any derelicts nearby with a supply of Pseudoephedrine?”

Holly checked, and came back a few minutes later with a wireframe scan of a derelict Spacecorp military space station in a nearby solar system.
“There's some here dudes.” said Holly “But the station's protected by a level 42 security clearance, something we don't have.”
“Damn and blast it.” Said Seymour.

“That's not a problem, we can just blast our way in? Who's to stop us?” Said Jay from further down the table. Many of the men jeered sleepily, and tried to stand up, almost feinting from lack of blood to the head. They slumped back down in their chairs.

Seymour shook his head. “SpaceCorp space stations are armed to the teeth with external turrets, we won't be able to get near it before we're torn to shreds. Even after 3 million years the batteries will still be at least half full.”

“So what do we do?”
Seymour thought for a moment, massaging his head to try and get at least some of the blood away from his crotch and back into his brain. “We could jolly well trick them into thinking we're an undercover military vessel.. Spacecorp military have holographic security 'inspectors' that come aboard and assess the ship. If we pass, we'll be recognised as friendly.”

“Invite them here?” Phi said, looking around at not only the messy canteen, but the ramshackle crew with filthy clothes, barely a hint of uniform, and glowing erections.

“Absolutely.” Seymour said. “We can make an inspector believe we're upstanding military personnel. All we need to do is give the place a clean, put some uniforms on, tuck our shirts in, and be on our best behaviour.” It sounded so easy, until Seymour looked at Jaxx, who was tucking into a pork chop for breakfast.
“What's that you're eating?” Seymour asked.
“I think it's the one you called 'Shelly'.” He said.

“Nooooooooooooo!” Seymour screamed.

<OOC – Time to smarten up and make the holographic 'inspector' think we're upstanding citizens, running the ship with military efficiency. Which means we've probably got to hide Jaxx. Nothing can go wrong!>