Gone to pieces

<snip>
The small, sensible, part of his brain prayed silently that all he'd been through in the last few days would give Alex a heart attack, thus rendering him unable to “lightsabre” with the others.
“Er. Anyone fancy a wrestle?” He heard his mouth say.
SHUT UP! He thought.
</snip>

This had Cass doubled over in uncontrollable fits of laughter
"Oh God" she gasped after a moment, wiping the tears from her eyes "Oh God, I can't wait to see this... I need to get the other girls ...and the baby oil!"
Jay, in spite of his almost overwhelming urge to get naked and frolic around like a rugby player on a post-match binge, frowned at this; the Cassandra he knew was the sort of atheist fundamentalist that never ever mentioned God like that
Ever
It took a moment for his hormone addled brain to put two and two together before it suddenly clicked and he started violently struggling against the gunk binding him to the ceiling
"Whitewolf!" he yelled "Candice! That's..."
Cass glanced sharply up at him, sensing his thoughts
"That's what, Chrysler?" she snapped, suddenly serious as her skin erupted in a blaze of bioluminescence, the drone robots moving evilly behind her
"That's not ...Cass" Jay finished lamely
Of all the crew, Candice was one of the first to react, her superior artificial intellect immediately grasping the basics of the tactical situation and the best way that she could help all these poor men

With the untold billions left to her by her previous benefactor (she didn't like to think of him as a sleazy old man with a range of disturbing perversions), Candice had not only bought herself an amazing starship and a wardrobe full of outfits fabulous enough to make grown men cry, she had also furnished herself with an array of exquisite and deadly weaponry; the pistol she was currently equipped with being a fine example of which - Manufactured to only the highest specifications, the solid-state laser could punch five centimetre wide holes through the sides of buildings with little effort, and although deadly, the weapon had been crafted by master artisans in diamonds and rare alloys of platinum traced with gold, it’s pistol grip fashioned to perfectly fit her hand from the snow white horn of a rare and long extinct creature from her homeworld – truly it was a thing of elegant but deadly beauty, and she looked fabulous wielding it!
Armed with this (some would say overly-) powerful weapon, she was confident that with her enhanced speed, strength, intellect, and agility (not to mention her devastating good looks), she could quickly bring the situation under control with a few simple threats, and so raised her weapon to point it at the glowing GELF
"No!" Alex yelled too late at her, as Cassandra's drone robots responded to the perceived threat to what they thought was their mistress by closing the short distance between ‘Cass’ and Candice with frightening speed and leaping up onto her to bear her down to the ground and tear her apart in a sickeningly brief orgy of violence
"Well..." 'Cassandra' smirked down at Candice's twitching remains in the stunned silence that followed "Does anyone else feel lucky?"