Sugar and spice and all things nice!

Who: Cass & Katrina
Where: Drive Room

It had been hot, impulsive and terribly unromantic fun; but try as she might, Cass couldn’t shake the weird hollow feeling tinging her post-coital afterglow, and the more she had dwelt upon it as she had silently pulled her clothes back on, the worse she had felt
"Shit" she sighed unhappily as she slumped backward into her chair at the Science Desk and shakily sparked up a cigarette
Kat regarded her evenly for a moment
"I didn't think it was that bad" she said in an attempt at a little levity
Cass smiled, exhaling smoke
"No, no - It's not that" she said quickly, even though she wasn’t exactly sure why it was she felt the way she did
"Bing bong" Holly’s disembodied head swam into view on all the monitors in the Drive Room, conveniently interrupting their exchange before Katrina could press the issue "There's an emergency going on"
"Oh for smeg’s sake" Cass took a long drag on her cig and exhaled "There's never a dull moment - What is it Hol?"
"Well, those sex GELF’s are busy running rampant and are enslaving all the men" Holly nodded "And I received an SOS from a weird ship so I let it dock in Hangar-D"
"You what!?"
"The GELF’s? Those Belhaphasarian sex pigs?" Holly tried again
"No, no; not them" Cass waved a dismissive hand "That's just what you get for allowing a crowd of misandrous telepathic shape-shifters on board. Why did you let a ship dock without my clearance?"
"Well, you seemed kind of busy" Holly bobbed its head in a simulated shrug "And there was a distress signal – There are all kinds of Space Corp rules about distress signals"
"Smeg the rules" Cass scowled before glancing questioningly over at Katrina who was checking the charge on her pulse rifle
"I need to go and see if Max is okay" she announced, nervously worrying her lip piercing between her teeth "If they've got Jay..."
“Hol? Where’s Jay?” Cass demanded
“Dunno dudette”
“Smeg’s sake, you’d have thought that he, of all people, would have been able to look after himself” Cass grumbled before turning back to address Katrina "One sec and I'll come with you"
Leaning forward in her chair, Cass stared up at the monitors
"Do we have a video feed from Hangar-D, Hol?"
"Thought you might want one of those" Holly smiled "It's why I let the ship dock there. I'll patch it through"
Cass and Katrina both frowned up at the monitors as Hangar D swam into view
“It’s empty” Kat shrugged
“Nah” Holly smiled from the bottom corner of the screen “There’s a ship there alright, it’s just invisible”
“How do you find the smegging thing once you’ve parked it?” Cass snorted, her fingers dancing over the controls, setting up a series of filters to negate the craft’s ‘intruder’ mode and bring it into focus on the screens
"That’s not a configuration I recognise..." she murmured, initiating a sequence of scans while she switched and zoomed the video feeds
"Me neither" Kat shrugged indifferently "Can we go? I need to... Woah!"
"Smegging hell" Cass breathed as Candice sashayed into view in her spectacular ball gown "That's a dress and a half!"
Pausing to narrow her eyes at the monitors, Cass mentally analysed and correlated the numerous live data feeds as they came flooding in from the sensors
“Those are sapphires” she observed “Thousands and thousands of sapphires”
“She looks spectacular!” Katrina gaped
"It" Cass corrected her, frowning at the data again "It looks spectacular – It’s a nanonic construct of some sort”
“Yeah, but just look at that dress...”
“Well, that’s not all...” Cass pointed at the scanner data “Look at this: It’s not only drop dead gorgeous, it’s fast, strong, intelligent and bulletproof, with unbreakable bones, and it doesn’t need to eat, breathe or sleep, and can even turn transparent as well!”
“All that and with an invisible space ship?” Kat breathed in awe “It’s as if she’s perfect in every way!”
“Nah - It’s not all that perfect” Cass smirked “Psi scan seems to indicate the thing has an overly precious nature with narcissistic tendencies and is apparently just some sort of tawdry pleasure model - Probably created for some lonely saddo as their pathetic idea of wish fulfilment”
"Yeah, but look at that dress..." Kat sighed dreamily “Isn’t it amazing?”
“Smeg the dress” Cass sneered “I’m more interested in the technology – Just think of what I can achieve with all that nanotech! Enhanced modes of consciousness and intellect? Physical augmentation? We could all be perfect!”
Kat glanced sharply at Cass
“You do know she’s not going to just give us that kind of ultratech, don’t you?”
Cass stooped to scoop her own pulse rifle up from the floor from beneath the Science Desk and turned to Kat, her eyes alight with excitement
“I don’t give a smeg if she wants to give it to me or not, I’m going to have it!”
"Oh you are awful" Kat giggled "But I do like it"
"Let's go check Max” Cass said “and then I’m going to tear our guest down into its component parts"
"Holly?" she continued "Seal Hangar-D until I get there. Override code three twenty. Power up MED one and pull drones three to six back from patrol. Converge en-route to the hangar; kill any non-human that gets in the way"
Kat frowned and pointed up at the monitors
“Is that Whitewolf?” she asked
“He’s billions of years old; I’m sure he’ll be fine” Cass shrugged “Unseal the Drive Room Hol”

...

Meanwhile
Who: Jacky
Where: the corridors near the Arboretum

Pausing in his flight from the Huzard’s lair, Jacky adjusted his goggles and glanced nervously around his surroundings; he had been here once before, he realised, when Seymour had demanded that he find some herbs for the bean surprise he had been preparing – this meant that...
slap slap slap flap slap slap
“What the ...hell is that?” Jacky muttered to himself, a frown creasing his brow – it sounded like...
slap flap slap slap ...slap ...slap
The pace of the noise slowed and Phil, wild eyed and breathing heavily, staggered around the corner in front of him
“Oh, man! Phil!” Jacky was thrilled to have found him
Eyeing him suspiciously, Phil took an unsteady step backwards
slap
“Smeg” Jacky winced, suddenly realising what the noise had been, and averted his eyes “Cover yourself up man!”
“Woo...” Phil moaned in a low voice “No woo... woo”
“What is it?” Jacky asked, suddenly concerned “Are you okay?”
“No www... www...”
Phil paused and took a ragged breath through gritted teeth to try and collect his scattered wits – That three cheese burrito seemed to have reacted really badly with the Viagra plant the GELF’s had used on him
“The seedgiver!” two GELF's looking exactly like Katrina and Cassandra rounded the corner in pursuit of Phil, both brandishing what Jacky took to be weapons, but could easily have been some of the scarier looking adult toys that he had occasionally heard about
“On your knees man things!” ‘Cassandra’ yelled, waving the pronged end of her weapon at them
“Women!” Phil managed, his eyes widening in terror “No... No women!”

...

Meanwhile
Who: Seymour

“...bothering with him?”
Seymour groaned, his eyelids fluttering as consciousness slowly returned
“Sister Roboshah said that what he lacked in size he more than made up for in enthusiasm”
Opening his eyes, Seymour blearily looked around the gloomily lit and grubby looking encampment surrounding him... Where on earth was he?
The last thing he remembered was chatting to Ms. Moreau, and her pulling some huge black, rubbery looking thing out her coat pocket
Why was he so cold?
Confusedly looking down at himself, Seymour was horrified to find that someone had removed his clothes while he had been unconscious and dressed him instead in what appeared to be a tight pair of brass swimming trunks
“What the devil” he murmured, pushing himself up and belatedly noticing the metal collar secured around his neck, attaching him to the wall via a long chain
“Ah, your man toy is awake Jagara!”
Jagara?
Seymour frowned and nervously licked his lips; he remembered that name – She was the leader of those... ladies they had recently met
“You had better be as good as reputation suggests, little man” Jagara sneered as she strolled into view accompanied by another one of the Belhaphasarian GELF’s “I’m not the sort who takes disappointment lying down”

<tag>
What are we going to do about these GELF’s and how do we tell who the real female members of the crew are?
</tag>

<ooc>
Ps: Awfully sorry if I upset anybody here by running their characters for them and not quite getting it absolutely spot on ;)
</ooc>