Onward to glory, or possibly doughnuts

Phil looked at the controls in front of him. “WHAT IS THIS MAGIC? THIS DOES NOT LOOK LIKE THE THIRD AGE!”

<end snip>

"I shall handle this..everyone look away, including you Lord Dobby.." said Justin starting to undo his trousers.

Phil wasnt so deep into Elrond mode that he didn't know what was coming next and turned round quickly.

Over the running water type sound and the fizzing, with occasional "bloody hell me pubes!" type statement, Alfredo calmly asked Phil "So..do you have any other drink related personalities?"

"Yes there are a few.. I have discovered it is the type of drink that affects me. But promise on your honor that will never EVER allow me to drink absinthe?"

"Almost done!" shouted Justin

"Why is that?"

"It brings forth a most horrid creature the like of which Middle-earth has never seen..a creature so foul as to turn your stomach and make you beg for mercy...so hideous that even I who has stood before Sauron himself would turn away with digust"

"Oh shit you turn into Justin? said a suddenly very pale Davie.

{"I heard that..should be dry in a sec with this heat"}

"No..much worse!"

The entire cabin turned and looked at Phil.

"No I cannot tell you right now, for you would be distracted from the task ...By Galadriel's light this will never come out i'll have to get rid of this jacket..Any way...get suited up gentlemen...the dwarf is up ahead."

"Yeah but doughnut shaped asteroid is in the way..hmmm doughnuts" dribbled Justin.

"Not at all he who smells like a dwarf after cleaning the Balrogs toilet...I shall be using that to halt the advance of this beast...Damm it starting to sober up again..Anyway here is the plan we suit up, I aim this bastard at the doughnut , go as fast as Seymour finding out there is a Sale on at Planet Harrods. The doughnut will stop us, flinging us forward, out the window(which i have programmed to open as soon as we impact) and towards the Dwarf. Simples! Shit..starting to talk like a meercat now..not long before i'm stone cold sober again..I'll just line us up and hit the full speed button....and we're done..Suit up people!"

"Er Phil..one small problem matey" said Alex, looking a bit worried.

"Justin got his schlong out again?"

"Nope..worse than that..not enough suits for all of us.."

"Arse biscuits!" someone cried.

"No problem guys, you get suited up, I'll go suitless.. Me GELF remember? The worst that will happen is I may go blind for a couple of days."

"You done this before?" Asked Davie as they all got suited up, trying to ignore that the top of Seymour hair was on fire and would leave a nasty bald spot for a couple of weeks

"This situation? Nah..But been shot into space before, like i said just been blinded for a bit.. Cant stay outside forever, but a few mins, no problem"

The Dwarf, and the doughnut, was coming up fast. They could see a lot of detail, they was that close.There appeared to be a lot of ice crystal near the bottom. Looked like some kind of water leak.Fingers crossed they would not be thrown there as the ice + speed they would be going at would shred them into novelty kebab slices..hmmm kebab, thought Phil.

Very soon they was all suited up.

"Brace for impact and hope I wasn't too sober" shouted Phil over the increasing noise and bracing himself for the impact and sudden cold that was to come.

The proximity alarm went nuts as the doughnut got even closer

"Oh and just so you guys know..The reason I'm not allowed under space corp directive 235.667 to drink Absinthe...it turns me into Jar-Jar binks.."

Seymour's comment was, from Phil's point of view, happily stopped by them suddenly being thrown forwards, through the doughnut and towards the Dwarf.

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