I present..The Fecalatior

As Jay went to save the trainee doctor, Justin sidled up to Phil and Seymour. “So, you're the one I've heard about who's died more times as me.... well... almost.”
Phil nodded, not really having Justin's full attention.
“I bet you haven't though... It's become a sort of obsession for me. In total I've died a holographic death about 78 billion times. So how many times have you died?” He asked, as if it was a competition.

<end snip>

"More times then you have brain cells matey" said Phil, wondering if Justin would get the joke. the silence said he didnt.

"There is one thing though i've been wondering about, Mr Pancake, and that is this.
Why didnt you use my old hard light bee to make yourself a companion if you was alone these all these years. It runs , well used to, run independantly from the ship, espically with all the modifications I made to it over the years. Just surprised you didnt use it. now if you excuse me one moment.. JAY INCOMING!"

With that Phil pulled a odd looking grenade out of his pack and chucked it to Jay.

"USE THAT IT WONT HURT PHI BUT WILL MAKE THE HAMZA SQUID SHIT ITSELF!"

"I think I can see where Mp got his pervness from" muttered Seymour, hoping Phil would not hear, but he did and made a mental note about this

"HOW DO I USE THIS?" jay shouted back.

"AIM FOR IT MOUTH, GRAB PHI AND PULL..THEN WE RUN - THE RESULT WILL NOT BE PLEASENT"

Jay grabbed the grenade, primed it and threw it in the Abu Hamza squids mouth. The shock of this made the beast drop Phi, who was then pulled by by Jay away, back to the group.

"Moving would be a good idea now", said Phil, starting a countdown in his head as everyone moved to a safe distance, the squid going a funny purple colour.

When he got to 8... "Oh Seymour? Look at that it's a got a mark on it's back shaped like the Queen!"

Seymour, excited about this possible royal connection,his mouth open and eyes wide, looked round just as the Fecalitor grenade went off and caused the Hamza squid to soil itself, explosively in Seymours direction, then pass out.

"Now i suggest we get the heck out of here before that things wakes up!"

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