Seymour's nemesis: Stairs

Who: Seymour
Where: Blue Dwarf
When: After beaming back from the Mollopod ship

Seymour left Brittany, promising to go back to his apartment and make contact with everyone he knew in the JMC and Space Corps, to try and get them onto their side against the obviously corrupt JMC. Surely he could turn some of them now that they knew there was Kinitawowi corruption on the inside.

It was a hard task, but not as hard as actually getting to his quarters. His arms ached from wheeling himself in his old fashioned wheelchair, and his face was already streaming with sweat.
“Bloody move! Can't you see I'm disabled!” He shouted to some people who were standing in the corridor.

With relief he realised he was very near his apartment, only one more corridor to go. He looked up ahead and saw a single step in the middle of the corridor. There was absolutely no reason for it to be there, it didn't go anywhere other than to continue the corridor. But for him, it was a complete roadblock. “Why? Why?!” Seymour shouted angrily, thinking what reason the designers of this spaceship had for inserting a random step in the middle of an otherwise flat corridor. He wheeled himself up close, and looked for a way around.

He slammed his fist on the arm of the chair. He wasn't going to turn around now, his quarters were only a few minutes away. If he turned around now to go a different way, it could take him hours.

He spotted a sign on the wall. “Xpress-lift Elevator” it said and he wheeled himself in, and waited for the computerised voice to ask him which floor he wanted.
“This one!” He said angrily.
“You said: Fifty One.” Said the lift, and started to move.
“No, no you computerised idiot! I meant the same floor that I was on!”
“Error, that is the floor you just came from.” It said.
“I know. That is the floor I want! Just... up the very small step that someone has put in my way to totally ruin any chance for disabled people to get past!”
The lift remained quiet, but moved sideways.

Seymour pushed himself out of the lift, and looked around. Half expecting to be back where he was, he sighed with relief when he found he was a little further down the corridor.
“Hurrah, finally!” He said when he saw his apartment. “About time too!”

The biggest reason he was happy to see his front door was that his bladder was about to burst. But another obstacle was in his way. The lip on the bottom of the door caught his wheelchair and trapped him, he struggled to push himself through but to no avail.
As the pressure in his bladder built, he started to panic.
“Help! Help!” He cried, considering what would happen if he wet himself. How undignified for a Royal Ambassador!

His cried were met by a robot with a spherical body. A large glowing eye at the centre of it's plastic body blinked at him.
“Greetings. I heard you calling for me. Are you my owner?” It said in a robotic Welsh accent.
“No but I'd bloody love some help! Can you give me a jolly good push?”
The droid stood motionless.
“You are not my owner?”
Seymour hung his head. “Are you some sort of door-to-door sales droid? Just wandering about hoping someone will buy you?”
The droid remained silent.
“Okay, fine! Bloody fine! I'll buy you if you just help me-”
Seymour felt a jolt as he was pushed into the room. “I am Kai, your new series 9000 multi-purpose Droid, see?”
“Fantastic chap!” He said. “Now quickly, push me to the bathroom!”
Seymour started to unzip his trousers and pushed himself forwards on his wheelchair. “This used to be so much easier when I had legs.” He said. “Do you mind helping?”

The droid started to look awkward. “Err....” It said.
“What's the matter?” Seymour asked. “I thought you said you were a multi-purpose droid?”
“I... err... wasn't programmed for... this... see?”
“Just give me a hand. All I need you to do is hold it.”

The droid thought of its best way to escape and self destructed.

“Bloody brilliant.” Seymour said sarcastically, and fell head first down the toilet.

<To be continued, unless someone wants to jump in right here and save Seymour from the horrors of his own u-bend?>