Niples + Amber - "Hamstoptera or Hymster?"
Posted byPosted: Apr 18, 2010, 4:42pm
<snip>
What if it was the size of a full blown Hymie? With the teeth of a hamster!
An extremely feminine scream came from the shower.
"SEYMOUR?!" Amber yelled, racing into the bathroom to leap to the aid of the Ambassador, who was obviously being eaten alive by the vicious, enormous, savage, monster....
<end snip>
Who: Amber, Seymour
Where: Seymour's Bathroom
When: After Seymour screamed
Amber rushed into the bathroom and kicked the door down. She burst into the room with her laser pistol aimed and ready.
A wet Seymour quickly covered his private parts with a small organic loofer. He wore a pink shower cap and looked extremely surprised. "Miss Febuggure, what is the meaning of this?!" He shouted back at her.
Febuggure quickly assessed the area and couldn't see any Hymenoptera of any kind, especially any that used to be a Hamster. She holstered her weapon.
"Sorry Seymour, I heard you scream. I thought there was a Hymenoptera in here."
"Sorry" Seymour explained. "I realised I'd run out of berry-blossom shampoo and conditioner. That's the noise I make."
Amber rolled her eyes, and an awkward silence fell between them. Seymour was still holding the loofer to his groin.
"I'll...um... leave now shall I?" Amber said, not wanting to spend any longer there.
"I'd appreciate that Miss Febuggure, yes." Seymour said, and watched as Amber quickly darted out of the room.
"We've got a Hymenoptera-Hybrid on the loose." Amber called back from outside the bathroom. "I think it might have come in here. Mind if I scan your apartment?" She didnt wait for him to reply before she took out her Psi-scanner and started waving it around the room.
"Blimey!" Shouted Seymour from the shower. "A hybrid like Rosette? She made quite a lot of mess."
"Not quite." Amber replied. "It's a Hamster."
Seymour turned off the shower, and he walked out of the room with a towel wrapped high around his waist, and another wrapped around his head. Amber did what she could to not laugh at him.
"A hamster?" Seymour laughed. "If i find it shall I call security, or just stand on it for you?" He joked.
"Don't underestimate the Hymenoptera." Amber said. "Believe me."
"IT'S OVER THERE!" Seymour wailed like a girl and jumped into Amber's arms. She held him for a few moments and then dropped him to the floor when the weight became too much. Amber reached for her pistol and aimed in the direction Seymour was pointing.
"Where?"
"There! Running underneath my 18th Century English townhouse settee." Seymour yelled in a panic. "Get it!"
Amber fired. The settee disintegrated into flames. Seymour wailed some more.
"Where?!" Amber said.
"Over there, running underneath my antique 18th century oak coffee table."
Amber fired, the coffee table fell into pieces.
The small rodent scuttled underneath a chest of drawers. "I see it!" Amber called out. She squeezed the trigger on her pistol. But before she fired, Seymour knocked her hands. The shot went wide and blew a hole in Seymour's Welsh Dresser. "What the hell are you doing?!" She snapped, pushing him back.
"You're ruining my furniture!" Seymour said.
"You panicked me!" Amber said, "And then you told me to shoot it."
"I did not!" Seymour said.
"You did!" Amber said. Then looked around. "Where did it go?"
"It snarled at us with it's tiny little hamster teeth, then crawled on all six legs through a hole in the wall under the Fallen Madonna with the-" Seymour stopped as he remembered his favourite painting was missing.
Amber took out her Psi-scanner and pointed it at the hole. "I've lost it, tt's gone into the ducts. It could get anywhere from there. The lifesign is too weak to follow it."
"Just wondering." Said Seymour. "Can that thing look for my missing painting? It had a tracking device on it."
"This isn't the time... we've got an escaped Hymenoptera..."
"Hamster." Seymour said. "You're searching for a hamster. My painting is far more important." Amber wanted to disagree but Seymour continued. "You just said the Hymenoptera-Hamster... or should we call it a 'Hamstoptera'... couldn't be tracked because its too small. So why don't we search for my painting, and see if the Hamstoptera turns up along the way?"
"I think you'll find it's a Hymster." Amber shot back.
"I think not child. Mine is better." Seymour said. "I have a bachelors degree, and am a respected Royal Ambassador, and you're eight years old."
Amber quickly called her brother on her phone. "Rufus, what are we calling the creature?"
"Hymster." Came his reply through the phone.
Amber hung up immediately and gloated at Seymour.
"May we go and find my painting now?" Seymour said.
<Tag Becca! Cass has cloned the painting's tracking device and scattered them around the ship, including in gay bars, the sewage reprocessing plants, garbage pods, and the arboretum. We could start looking in those places and see if we find the Hymster along the way?>