Pancake reporting for battlestations

<snip>
"Attention all hands, this is Lieutenant Commander Chris Harris. There is an
enemy ship in sensor range, they appear to have shields and weapons online. We
should prepare for boarding parties. BATTLESTATIONS."
<end snip>
Who: Justin Pancake and later, Wolfgang Sweetsly
When: After the battlestation announcement
Where: Justin's quarters
Justin heard the siren and Harris' voice come over the comms. He woke up from
his drunken slumber and banged his head on the bunk above.
Falling out of bed, he struggled to his feet, cradling his wounded head in his
hands. He managed to stand up straight and looked around the room which was
swirling around him in double vision.
"Clothes." He said and staggered towards some clotes which were heaped on a pile
on the floor. He picked up a shirt and a strange mutant rat ran out of the arm.
"Yearg!" he shouted. "What the smeg..." He sniffed the shirt and realised it
hadn't been washed in many weeks, and wasn't sure of the rat had caused the
smell, or had been attracted to it, or if it had even caused the rat's mutated
state.
"No time, no time!" he said as the siren blared around his head. So he put the
shirt on anyway. He hoped nobody would notice the curry stain down the front,
and the rat piss down the back.
He staggered to the mirror and saw how messed up his hair was. He tried to comb
it down but it sprang up more, a bit like an electrified Jedwood.
"No time, no time!" he said again and almost fell into his bathroom. Le lifted
the toilet seat ut saw it was full of last night's vomit. Or was it a
space-dwelling creature which had crawled up there?
"Greetings! I come in peace!" Said the vomit alien.
"No time, no time!" He said and urinated all over the alien, and the toilet
seat, and then flushed it. The alien disappeared making disgusted spluttering
noises.
He turned to the sink and reached for his toothbrush. His double vision wasn't
helping here, and he knocked the toothbrush and toothpaste onto the floor, where
they fell onto the piss-soaked tiles.
"No time, no time!" He said and quickly picked them up, banging his head on the
sink when he stood back up. He smelled the urine soaked toothbrush and threw it
away, then squirted the toothpaste straight into his mouth and chewed it for a
few seconds, mouthing "mo tine, mo tine!"
He spat into the sink and didn't wash it away. White patches still around his
mouth. He ran back into his quarters, almost tripping up over the mutated rat.
The rat spat at him, it clearly wanted a fight. "No time, no time!" He said, and
pointed to the flashing alert light. "Battlestations!" He said, and ran out of
his door.
As he ran outside he collided with Wolfgang Sweetsly the German Health and
Safety officer.
"Watch it das Arschloch!" Wolfgang swore at him.
Justin was still hungover, concussed and staggered around like an idiot. He
grabbed Wolfgang around the middle. "I'm sorry!" he said.
"Donnerwetter! Wolfgang said "You smell terrible you Drecksack!"
Justin smacked his head to make his eyes less blurry. "You are saying a lot of
words I don't understand!" He said. "I'm soooo pissed."
"I'm speaking German." Said Wolfgang. "Das ist hard for me to speak English all
of the time."
"It's hard for me to stay slober for most of the time." Justin admitted, and
they walked to Engineering. Justin's boss Callum Kotchanski watched them enter
and looked at his watch. "What time do you call this?" He asked. "27 minutes
just isn't good enough!"
"Sorry sir. But I am pissed, so I think it's smegging brilliant!" Justin said.
Justin was still leaning on Wolfgang, and now tried to stand up to salute to
him. CK watched with some amusement as Justin tried to remain standing. He
lifted his hand to his head to do the normal SpaceCorps salute, but only managed
two full circles of the hand before collapsing on his back on the floor.
Callum Kochanski towered over at him. "Ensign Pancake. You're clearly not fit
for duty and we don't want you around in a battlestation condition if you're
going to be like this. Take the rest of the day off."
"The rest of the day? But I just woke up?"
CK looked at his watch. "Exactly. It's midday! Your shift was supposed to start
at 9am!"
"Smeg." Said Pancake, and walked off. He dragged Wolfgang with him.
<meanwhile on the away team, snip>
The hull groaned again. "Jay…" Jayne said "That didn't sound good…"
"No..the ship was weak already…the Starbug crash didn't help…this bucket's going
to break up before long, we need to find the crew and get out of here.."
"Erm.." Efof said "How do we do that exactly?"
"For once Efof.." Jay said "That's not a dumb question..…"
<end snip>
As they walked out of Engineering, they passed a window looking out into space.
Justin saw the SCS Huddersfield and the looming sun behind them, solar flares
raging as it was about to go supernova at any moment.
"Woah!!" Justin shouted. "We have to save them!"
Wolfgang rolled his eyes. "I sink dey have everything in hand." He said
"But they're.... gonna die!" Justin said.
Wolfgang tried to pull him away from the window. "Lets leave it to ze
professionals shall ve?"
"No but look. The ship... it's collapsing! The supernova... it's starting...."
"Lets get you back to bed. You can sleep it off." Said Wolfgang.
"Lets save them!" Justin shouted excitedly.
"Off to bed you go."
"Lets save them!" Justin said, pulling Wolfgang off him. "Lets take a shuttle
and save them!"
"Zat is definitely a bad idea. The health unt safety regulations state zat..."
"Lets save them!" Justin repeated.
He ran towards the flight deck. "Come on! We'll be heroes!"
<TAG – Coming Wolfgang?>