Niples and Jay - On the run

<snip>
Explosions went off all around Jay and Seymour, and the mimes fought back with
just as much ferocity as the Hymenoptera. "We have to get out of here!" Jay
shouted above the racket. But Seymour was already running away.
<end snip>
Jay ducked as some kind of live ammunition soared above his head, before
standing back up to full height and running after Seymour. Catching up quickly,
he leapt into the air, diving headlong into Seymours retreating back, and
throwing him on the ground just as a shell exploded in the ground inches before
the ambassador.
"I say!" muttered Niples "Get off me you ruffian!"
"You're welcome.." Jay snapped, helping Seymour back to his feet before the two
men set off again, running at full pelt in a random direction.
How the smeg did Jay get himself into these situations, he wondered. He wasn't
sure how he'd even managed to escape from the jail, or why he'd leave his crew
behind when he did, because Onion hadn't explained it in the previous post, and
our characters do need these things spelled out to them. Luckily, Andy Longman,
for the benefit of our readers, had decided that Jay had seen, through the
prison's perimeter fence Seymour being shuffled into a truck during the
recreation time, and, being a concerned, and somewhat heroic captain, felt
compelled to rescue any member of his crew who he through was in trouble, even
if it was Seymour.
Maybe not Keto.
He hadn't had time to alert any of his crew to Seymours plight, and so, without
any concern for his own safety, or sanity, removed his prison jacket, with the
transponder he'd found sewn into the sleeve, clambered over the fence, somehow
unnoticed, which he'd put down to the snow, obstructing the guards visibility,
(mind you, being mimes, even if they HAD seen him, they could hardly shout for
help..) managed to avoid getting caught in the barbed wire coilers that ran
across the top of the fence, dropped the ground and ran for the truck. Somehow
noone even noticed his footprints in the snow, leading up to the back of the
truck. Jay had then hidden under the tarpaulin that covered the back of the
truck, and conveniently found a warm jacket in there to shield his otherwise
naked top half from the cold, and also to prevent a stampede of women from
charging toward him.
Of course, that was just what Andy Longman thought. Jay of course didn't know
this either, because he didn't know who Andy Longman was, or why he'd think
this. And to be honest, he didn't much care, because right now he was under
attack and didn't really have time to consider the implications of the fourth
wall.
"Quick!" Jay yelled, "Through here!" he held open an access hatch into what he
assumed was the buildings air conditioning system.
"In there?!" Seymour replied, insolently. "But it's terribly dusty Mr Chrysler!
It might make a commoner like you feel at home but..AAGH!"
Jay kicked Seymour in the small of the back, so that he fell over onto his hands
and knees, and then shoved him with his foot, forcing him into the vent.
Jay clambered in behind him and slammed the access panel closed behind him, as
Seymour protested "The queen shall hear about this Mr Chrysler!!"
"Shuttit and get moving Nipples!" Jay snapped
"THAT'S NIPLES!"
"MOVE!"
Seymour, enraged stared Jay straight in the eye. The Captain just fixed Seymour
in return with a steely gaze which seemed to say "If you even dare to open your
mouth, I'll really give you something to complain about."
Seymour, swallowed hard and turned around, and headed off down the ventilation
shaft on all fours.
It wasn't long before the pair found themselves on the building's roof.
"Well, now what?" Seymour said.
"We need to get some form of transport…" Jay mused, out loud. "It felt like a
long way we travelled to get here..do you remember the way?"
Seymour shook his head. "One was born to be driven Mr Chrysler, not to drive
oneself."
"Well, we aren't doing it on foot, that's for sure."
"And where do you want to go exactly?"
"Back to the prison."
"Whatever for?"
"To rescue the rest of the crew of course!"
"Oh…them…" Seymour said "You know, I'm sure if I had a word with my counterpart
he'd le….never mind…" Jay had that look in his eyes again.
"We get the crew out, ourselves, and we find a way back to our universe."
"But what about the war?"
"It's not OUR war." Jay snapped "Don't you realise that?"
"Of course! But we're here now, one way or another we need to side with
someone!"
"The way I see it, our best allies are ourselves. I'm not siding with someone
who conquers world's Seymour, even if he is a far more pleasant chap than our
universes' counterpart…"
"But.."
"And there's no way in hell I'm siding with the bugs. We tried that before…look
out it turned out.."
"Well then you'll be a wanted fugitive. An enemy of both sides."
"If that's the way it has to be. My loyalty is to my crew, no-one else…if you
don't like that, you can stay here as far as I'm concerned."
<tag Onion – what'll it be? Work with Jay to find a way to a vehicle and rescue
the crew, or betray your crew!>
***Meanwhile***
A ventilation grate fell to the floor, followed by a shapely pair of legs in
combat boots. Jayne Chrysler fell to the deck below and looked around.
"I'm in." she whispered into her headset microphone.
"Shut down the weapons and get out" came Dean Thomas' voice over the earpiece.
"Make it difficult for them to get them back online…"
"Surely you could just fly a Starbug into them to achieve that?"
"…I can't crash on purpose!" snapped Dean. "Besides! I'm the acting captain
here, you can't talk to me like that!"
"SSSSH!" Jayne replied "Don't shout, the mimes will hear you!"
The mimes we're oblivious to the fact that some of the Blue Dwarf crew, Dean,
Jayne, and a handful of others had escaped capture and were now coordinating a
sabotage mission.
Jayne reached into the weapons control computer, and grabbing a handful of
wires, yanked them out.
"Subtle." Said Dean.
"Like only a woman can be" replied Jayne "Any luck contacting anyone else yet?"
"Not yet." Dean replied "But if theres any other crew members on board, they'll
find us eventually…"
<hint hint – anyone still aboard the Dwarf? Let's make the ship useless to the
mimes…>
--- In JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com, "Onion" <theonion770@...> wrote:
>
> Who: Seymour Niples
> Where: Prison Planet, secluded meeting dome
> When: After getting out of the ice-truck
>
> <snip>
> Seymour watched it land until his truck stopped. The mime opened the door, and
> pointed to a door he needed to head towards. Seymour expected to walk to the
> door alone, but a huge crowd of tough-looking mimes appeared and escorted him
> into the building.
> "Oh thankyou chaps. I'm not sure I need this much security though do I?" He
> paused. "Do I?"
> <end snip>
>
> The mimes silence was worrying, although Seymour shouldn't have expected
anything else. He looked around him, the tall structure that he'd driven to was
a large metal dome sticking out of the snow. It obviously acted as a spaceport
as he looked at the ship that had just landed.
>
> The cold turned his breath into icy steam as he breathed. He started to walk
towards the building, having no idea who to expect inside, but with a message to
deliver from The Infidel.
>
> A noise from the back of the truck caused the mimes to race over. They dragged
someone out of the back and pushed him to the ground, where they started
whipping him with an invisible rope. Seymour turned. "Stop! Stop I say!" He
ordered. The mimes were used to taking orders from The Infidel, and the pitch of
his shout was exactly the same. The mimes stopped beating the man, who stood up
and turned around.
>
> "Jay?" Seymour asked. "What are you doing here?"
> "I should ask you the same thing Seymour. Why are you helping that egotistic
madman?" Jay walked over to him.
> "He's not a madman. He's just me." Seymour said.
> "He's not just you!" Jay argued. "He's The Infidel."
> "But... he's me. The same flesh and blood." Said Seymour.
> "We're in a parallel universe, nothing is the same-"
> "But think about it." Said Seymour. "We've seen many parallel universes
haven't we?"
> Jay nodded.
> "And they're all just different timelines, but history has been altered in
some way. Like the outcome of World War 2... like the Nazis won, or the nuclear
bomb was invented early... or never invented at all. BUT everything else is the
same, there's a version of you, and a version of me. And these versions of
ourselves are still us, they have the same DNA..."
> "But they're different." Argued Jay.
> "Yes they're different. Different because they made different choices in their
lives. Or were given a totally different set of choices to choose from."
> "That makes them different." Jay said.
> "Of course it does. But they're still us. The Infidel is still me, he's me
that made different choices. He's not evil."
> "I think he's evil." Said Jay. "He's got an army of clones.
> "Okay" Seymour backtracked. "He's a bit evil. But he's not so bad. I've agreed
to help him deliver a message. Excuse me, I'll only be a tick."
>
> Seymour headed to the metal dome structure, but Jay pulled him back.
>
> "Seymour. I've been through this already. Remember Evil Jay?"
> Seymour nodded.
> "Evil Jay came from a parallel universe, and came with a Hymenoptera army to
destroy Earth. He succeeded. He killed my wife in the process. What would you
have said if I helped him?"
> "You'd be mad?"
> "Exactly!" Jay shouted at him. "Then don't help The Infidel. He's a nutcase!
He's just as evil as Evil Jay."
> "He's not!"
> "He is! Trust me Seymour, if you help him, bad things will happen."
>
> Seymour shook his head, and opened the door. "We can talk about this later.
You can come with me to watch, but don't say anything. I'm going to do what I do
best."
> "Whining?"
> "No! Ambassadoring." Seymour said. "I've got to deliver a message to the
leader of Earth."
>
> They made their way into the building, it was cold but decorated nicely. The
Infidel probably used this building to conduct meetings with other planetary
leaders. They entered a large room with huge tapestries with pictures of The
Infidel woven into them, surrounded by an army of mimes.
> "Still think he's not a nutcase?" Jay whispered.
> "He's just got an ego, that's all." Seymour said.
>
> A voice boomed through the hall. It made Seymour jump, as it was the first
voice other than Jay's he'd heard all day, as the mimes didn't speak.
> "INTRODUCING.... QUEEN BRITTANY OF THE EARTH HIVE GOVERNMENT." It said, and a
troop of soldiers marched in, beside Queen Brittany herself.
> "Oh dear god!" Said Seymour as he looked at the soldiers. Each of them had a
Human torso, gripping a large Bazukoid, but had six black spider legs like that
of a Hymenoptera.
> "Hymenoptera!" Jay shouted, looking around for a weapon to fight them with.
> "I forgot to say. The Infidel did warn me that the Humans in this universe
made an alliance with the Hymenoptera."
> "Why the hell would they do that?"
> "To make them stronger. So they could fight the mimes."
>
> Queen Brittany walked out from behind her soldiers. She too had a human torso,
and black spider legs. She also had a massive slug-like abdomen which continued
behind her for what seemed like the entire length of the room. This huge abdomen
was being carried by some smaller Hymenoptera, who held it up to allow her to
move.
>
> "I am Queen Brittany!" She announced dramatically. "Leader of Earth."
> "Brittany... Brittany it's me, Seymour!" The Ambassador said, before realising
she wouldn't know him from this universe.
> "You are the one we call The Infidel?" She asked.
> "Yes... and no." Seymour explained. "You see, the Infidel is currently making
battle arrangements. I'm his spokesman."
> Brittany squirmed uncomfortably and behind her, Jay and Seymour could see a
Hymenoptera larvae pop out of her abdomen covered in slime.
> "Eeww!" Seymour said.
> "Does my appearance displease you?" Boomed the Queen.
> "No.... I... ummm... well. I actually thought you would just be Human." Said
Seymour.
> "I am half Human." Said Queen Brittany. "And Half Hymenoptera. You see the war
with the Mimes proved that Human beings are too weak. We were just pink little
bags of meat, so the Hymenoptera showed us how to be strong."
> "By becoming Hymenoptera?"
> "By becoming HALF-Hymenoptera." She shouted. "Now we're the best of both.
Every Human is now half Hymenoptera. We all received gene-therapy. I give birth
to new Human-Hymenoptera, for I am their Queen."
> Another larvae plopped out of her abdomen and the little Hymenoptera scurried
to take it away.
>
> Jay stepped forward. "So to stop yourself from being conquered by the mimes,
you've become conquered by the Hymenoptera? Good plan!" He said sarcastically.
>
> The Queen ignored him. "So what was the message you called me here for?"
>
> Seymour searched in his briefcase for the message, and started to read it out.
"The Infidel, and his army of mimes has declared that you must surrender planet
Earth immediately..."
> "Why?" She said.
> Seymour continued. "...Due to the acquisition of a new starship from a
parallel universe, the Mime fleet of warships is now significantly greater than
your own. Within two days Earth will be surrounded by mime warships. We will
begin orbital bombardment of your planet until you surrender." Seymour gulped.
> Jay hit him on the arm. "I told you he's a nutcase." He whispered.
>
> "We will never surrender!" Queen Brittany hissed. "This is a great insult to
me, and to the entire Earth Hive.
>
> "I'm sorry." Said Seymour. "I was just reading what it said on the paper."
> "But you work for the Infidel. My reply to him will be the delivery of your
mutilated corpses!" She hissed.
>
> The Human-Hymenoptera guards aimed their bazukoids at them and started to
fire. Mimes ran at the half-insect monsters to distract them.
>
> Explosions went off all around Jay and Seymour, and the mimes fought back with
just as much ferocity as the Hymenoptera. "We have to get out of here!" Jay
shouted above the racket. But Seymour was already running away.
>
> <OOC - Tag Jay, get us out of here! Or I'll post part 3 later>
>