Seymour - "Turning to the mime side"

Who: Seymour Niples
Where: Mime prison
When: Whilst Rosette and Rufus are thinking of an escape plan
Seymour looked down at the orange jumpsuit he had been forced to wear.
"This thing is hideous!" He said, tugging at parts of the cloth. He called back
to the others. "I hope your escape plan is coming along, I'm being tortured in
here!"
There was a gasp, and then Rosettes worried voice came through the forcefield.
"Really? What are they doing to you?"
"Making me wear this hideous outfit!" Seymour said.
Rosette sighed and continued talking to Rufus.
Seymour straightened out a crease on the sleeve, at least if he was going to
wear this monstrosity, it might as well appear presentable.
"Zeymour Niples." Called a booming voice with a German accent.
Seymour rolled his eyes around, he couldn't see anything except a feint shadow
through the yellow forcefield. "Yes? Are you the diplomatic consulate?"
The forcefield dropped, and there stood a proud man with a smartly dressed suit
and a monocle.
"Finally!" Seymour said, then his eyes dropped as he saw what the man was
wearing on his legs. "Oh Jesus!"
The man wore suspenders, fishnet stockings and high heels. Seymour winced and
looked away as if it physically hurt his eyes.
"Greetings Heir Nipples his imperial deliciousness *licks lips* Ze Infidel
Seymour, vishes to see you".
"You're not the diplomatic consulate then?" Seymour asked again.
"No. I verk for the infidel."
"Oh god, yes. The chap who looks as dashing as me but is incredibly devious and
dastardly?"
"Yar."
"What is it that you do for him?" Seymour asked.
"I verk for him."
"You what?"
"I... verk for him. Zat is vot I do."
Seymour nodded and stroked his chin. "I see. Take me to him then!"
----------------------------------------------------
Who: The Infidel
Where: Prison planet, Control room
When: A few minutes later
Commandant Wolfgang lead Seymour into a dimly lit control room, with extravagant
paintings on the walls, and lavish textiles draped over many CCTV monitors. Gold
candlesticks with shining jewels lit the room and provided a slightly smoky
atmosphere.
"That will be all!" Called a familiar but cocky male voice over from a large and
comfortable sofa. Covered with hundreds of textured cushions. Commandant
Wolfgang saluted and then left.
The cushions moved and a semi naked woman arose out of them, pausing to zip up
her leather corset. She then kissed her fingers and pressed it on the face of a
man laying on the sofa.
"Ciao lover." She said sexually, then turned to leave, winking at Seymour as she
passed him.
"Don't mind me." Seymour said, trying not to feel embarrassed in the odd
scenario.
On the sofa, The Infidel sat upright and beckoned Seymour over. "Come, come." He
said. "Closer."
"No thanks." Said Seymour. "That sofa might have an STD I don't want to catch."
The Infidel chuckled a patronising little chuckle and stood up. He was wearing
just a dressing gown which was modestly hanging off him, exposing a very large
golden medallion around his hairy chest. Seymour sneered as he saw it. This man
looked like a porn star.
"Drink?" The Infidel said, pointing to a crystal wine decanter.
Seymour grinned. "Finally, someone in this universe I can share a drink with!"
He said happily. "You might be a warlord or terrorist with devious plans and no
morales whatsoever, but I can always trust an alternate of myself to have a good
wine collection. Have you got an eight year old Mollopodian Chardonney? Possibly
a 2059 Ffionian Shiraz?"
The Infidel grinned. "You've mentioned two worlds which I have conquered. But
alas, no. I don't have any wines."
"What's that then?" Seymour pointed to the large bottle.
"Bacardi Breezer. It's the only thing I drink."
Seymour started to cry. "Why are you doing this to me?! Bacardi Breezer....
really?"
The infidel nodded. "It's good stuff old chap, you should try some."
Seymour backed away. "You're a monster! You've brought the Blue Dwarf here
against our will, and imprisoned the entire crew. Why?"
The infidel shrugged. "It's a jolly good laugh isn't it?"
"No it's bloody well not!" Seymour shot back. "Now I want you to apologise to my
friends, send us back to the Blue Dwarf, and get me out of this god-awful orange
jumpsuit!"
"I'm afraid I can't do that Seymour." The infidel said, stepping closer and
cupping Seymour's face with his hands, as if doing it romantically. "There's a
war going on in this universe. My mime army against Earth and the entire of
Humanity. You see, Earth allied with the Hymenoptera to fight agaisnt us."
Seymour snatched his hands away. "Preposterous! Earth would never ally
themselves with the Hymenoptera!"
"They were desperate. And they realised just how powerful the Hymenoptera can
be. You've seen it for yourself, your own crewmember Rosette became half
Hymenoptera, she was almost unstoppable!"
"She was a monster!" Seymour said. "A killing machine. Neither Human nor
Hymenoptera."
"Earth has experimented with Hymenoptera DNA and they have created monsters just
like Rosette to fight against us.
"No! That's just sick! Humans are changing themselves into Hymenoptera just to
fight against you.... they're trading their Humanity to become something else,
just to save Humanity... but then they're not Human anymore!"
"Exactly!" The Infidel said. "It's just stupid. Join with me Seymour, and once
we rule Earth we can put a stop to this barbarism. Only we can save the Human
race, because they're destroying themselves!"
"Well... I do hate the Hymenoptera." Seymour said. "But no! You're crazy! You've
got an army of mimes for gods sake!"
"Better than an army of insect warriors."
Seymour nodded. "So what do you need me to do." He said.
<OOC – Seymour is being turned to the dark side! BTW all that about Earth
allying with the Hymenoptera was actually in one of Phil's posts from a few
weeks ago, so I'm tryign to follow continuity as close as possible. Does someone
want to try and talk Seymour out of helping the Infidel? If not I'll post what
he does in my next post.>