Re: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] *Action* - \"Perils of the purple forest\"

"Efof!" Yelled Katrina, "Blast it!"
"With what?" Efof replied
"The Starbugs weapons! What do you think?!"
"Which one?"
"I don't care! Just fire something!"
Efof prodded sat back in his chair and rubbed his chin, deep in thought for a few moments.
"EFOF!" yelled everyone in the cockpit.
"What?" replied the blue alien.
"Fire! NOW!!"
"Sorry, I just can't decide which to fire! They're all so good!"
"JUST BLAST IT WITH THE CANNONS!"
"Ooh, good choice!" Efof said "But I don't know whether the shotguns would be better..."
"JUST DO IT!" Katrina snapped, as the Starbug groaned and shifted unnervingly downward.
"Alright, alright!" Efof replied "Keep your hair on!" He pulled the trigger to the Starbugs cannons and a shot fired, which missed the creatures tentacles and glooped hopelessly into the swamp.
"We can't hit it!" Efof said "It's too close to the ship!"
"Oh great..now what do we do?" Katrina said, desperately looking around the cockpit for an answer.
The shuttle lurched again.
"Fire the reversing thrusters! she suggested 
Efof nodded, and did so, but this only served to make the creature angry, and pull on the starbug even harder, they began to sink faster.
"I'm trying to divert power from everywhere else!" Katrina said, "But it's just too strong, we need something a bit more powerful than reversing thrusters!"
"I 'ave eet!" Rockfield said suddenly, and disappeared into the midsection.
"Where's he going?" Katrina asked, but didn't wait long for an answer as Rockfield came back into the room carrying a bazookoid.
"What are you going to do with that?" she said
"I am le greateest geologeest een all of le spas corp!" He replied "I 'ave mined een some of le tougheest enviromeents known to man! And 'ave learned to be le best wiz a mineeng lazer!"
"But..." Katrina said, but Rockfield wasn't listening.
"Efof!" he said "Keep fireeng the thrusteers!"  
"Sorry" said Efof "I don't speak French."
"I am spekeeing le Inglish!"
"Oh. Well, sorry I don't speak that either."
"You are spekeeing it now!"

"No." Efof replied matter of factly "I'm speaking Old Ffionian. It just so happens to be the same as English"
Rockfield shooh his head and climbed up on the dashboard, and swung his bakoodoid back.
"Wait.." Katrina said "What are you doing?"
Rockfield swung the bazookoid down on the cockpit glass.
"JACK! NO!" Katrina yelled, but it was too late, he'd broken the glass.
He leant through the broken windscreen and fired the bazookoid at the creature, a loud animalistic screech was heard, and the tentacles withdrew.
"You see!" Rockfield said, gleefully "I am le genius!"   
"No!" Katrina snapped "You're an idiot!"
"What do vous mean?"
"The creatures let go, but we're still sinking! The thrusters are slowing us down, but the swamps too thick, they'll cut out soon and when we do sink, theres nothing keeping the Swamp out now!" she pointed at the broken glass.
"Oh..." said Jack. "But how was I supoosed to know, that le thrusteers would not be powerfool enough!?"
"You weren't, that's true. But how would you expect us to get back to the Blue Dwarf with no smegging glass to keep the air inside the shuttle!"
".....good point..."
"Now what do we do?!"
"Well." Said Efof "You could start by passing me a cheese and pickle sandwich.."
 
<Tag anyone! What do we do?>

From: Onion
Sent: Thursday, October 08, 2009 11:05 AM
To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] *Action* - "Perils of the purple forest"
 
The space next to a planet imploded, and then revealed a swirl of crimson and blue. The Blue Dwarf sailed through the wormhole, it's hull frosty with the condensation of wormhole space, which quickly evaporated. The mighty ship slowed, and parked itself in orbit of the planet.The Blue Dwarf's heavy hangerbay door grinded open and out came a Starbug. The Starbug was the usual variety, with a large metal sensor dish strapped to the front. The dish was so large that is partially obscured the view through the cockpit window. The ship headed for a small planetoid, it was mostly arid dessert and rock, perfect for mining ore. A small section of the planet however was purple woodland, and this was the part that they needed to scan before they started to mine the planet. It was Space Corps rules that you needed to scan for life on any planet before mining began. ----------Who: Efof Yuwan'Kar, Jack Rockfield, Katrina Salter, other people (feel free to mention yourselves here as part of this away mission)Where: StarbugWhen: As the Starbug is heading towards the planetEfof piloted the Starbug, two hands on the flight controls, one hand on the handbrake, and the other hand shoving a massive croissant into his mouth."These are good!" he complimented Jack Rockfield, the Frenchman who stood just behind him, with a remote control in his hand. "Oui, Oui!" Said Jack in his outragious French accent. "Ah cannot believe euh ave never ad a croissant before!""Well... no. I actually thought Humans only ever ate three things. Big Macs, fishfingers and jelly babies. It's amazing that there's a fourth option!""Euuh... zere is much more zan zat my friend!" Said Rockfield. "I'll introduce you to a whole world of French cooking!"Efof licked his lips. The Starbug entered the atmosphere of the planet and flew high over the rocky dessert. On the horizon they could see the purple forest rapidly approaching."Approaching position." Said Katrina from behind, who was manning the scientific computer. "If there's any life on this planet it'll be in those trees.""Oui." Said Jack, and pressed a button on the controls he held in his hand. The dish underneath their Starbug came to life and an LED on the end flashed every time it send out an invisible scanning pulse. They flew over the trees, which were bizarre shades of purple. "Anything?" Asked Jack, walking over to Katrina's computer and looking at the scannerscope. "No... wait!" Said Katrina. There was an almighty rip sound and the Starbug shook. The large satellite dish on the front had come off, it clanged as it hit the rear landing leg and they left It behind."Merde!" Said Jack. "Who didn't secure ze satellite?"Katrina looked sheepish. "Don't worry. We can go back and find it.""What?!" Said Efof. "In the creepy purple forest?! Hey I know I'm a weird blue colour, but surely trees everywhere are supposed to be green. That's just weird right?""We have to finish the scan! So zat we can mine ze planet!" Said Jack."You really take your job seriously don't you?" Said Efof. Everyone stared at the blue pilot and eventually he turned their ship around and back to where they lost the satellite dish. The Starbug descended through the violet forest canopy and landed on the ground. "Sorry guys and gals, there's just too many trees." Said Efof. "You'll have to get out and look for it on foot." "You mean 'WE'." Said Katrina. Efof moaned. "Yeah.... I suppose so."The Ship landed, and Efof unstrapped himself from his seat.Very suddenly, the ship lurched to the right, throwing the crew against the wall. Katrina quickly peered out of the window."Oh good job Efof, you've landed us in a swamp!" She sarcastically said. There was a thud on the windscreen, and then another. They all looked to see two large squid-like tentacles wrapping around them, gripping the Starbug and pulling them down into the swamp. Everyone froze as panic set in."When can we start on those sandwiches?" Asked Efof.<OOC – Tag everyone. This is just an easy Action post to ease us into this storyline. If someone could get us free of the swamp-squid and out of the Starbug and onto dry land, I'll post the next action post. Also feel free to start exploring the surrounding forest.>