A Short History of Starbug's Internet Connection

A Short History of Starbug's Internet Connection
Routers have never worked on any Starbug, and this has been an annoying fact to everyone in the JMC. People have had to resort to building new inventions to get it done, or even sticking the computer in the microwave, the latter being when the invention fails.
When accessing the internet from Starbug, you have to remember two important things: One, the keyboards only have ten keys that work. Two, the c, o, and m don't work, causing it to be hard to access anything.
Although, true this may be, it has caused a lot of crew to stop with the online gaming obsessions that started when they were kids. This can be good in many ways, however, it does drive some insane. And when me mean insane, we mean laughing, dancing, and yelling nonsense like: "I'll show them what I'm made of: meat!". Watching can be funny, though it can get boring after two or three or four weeks.
Rather, in the case of Schlumm Caldrahmah, the insanity can be rather horrifying. Originating from a middle-eastern country, Schlumm was a happy man with an online gaming obsession you wouldn't believe. He would go on things like StoneScape, Rine Lider, and this garbage called Meet a Swedish Woman in Six Easy Steps, playing for hours on end. When he joined the JMC, he was stuck on a long Starbug mission, and ended launching himself out of an airlock. He only made it to step five...
All routers in the modern times are made by the JMC EPA, or Electrical Palatial Affects, which is crap company. A crap company, to the point that everything it built was obsolete ten years before it was made. This has made many people very angry, most of them heavy gamers.
In short: The EPA stinks!