Seymour - "Medical Guinea Pig"

Who: Seymour, Keto and Wolfgang
Where: Starbug
When: After Seymour tried to have a shower
Unhappy with not being able to have a shower, Seymour walked past the small room where Dr Keot was frantically working on creating a "luck" ointment.
"Seymour!" Keto shouted without even looking up. He was scribbling down some notes whilst keeping a curious eye on an ointment simmering over a Bunsen burner.
Seymour walked into the room looking confused. "Yes Doctor?"
"Just the man I need. You know how you are incredibly brave and would put yourself in danger to save any of the crew."
"No." Said Seymour.
"Okay let me put it another way. You know how you have always wanted to be on the front cover of major galactic headlines, and appear on talkshows for being the brave tester of the next wave of medical breakthroughs?"
Seymour wagged a finger at him. "I see what you're doing. You're trying to appeal to my ego. You know that popular public opinion is important to me. Well, I can see you little game! You want me to be a guinea pig for your scientific experiments!"
Keto nodded quickly. "Yes. Thats it!"
"No. There's jolly well no way I'll risk my own skin for your experiments. Try Wolfgang here."
Wolfgang Sweetsly had the misfortune of walking past at that exact moment. "Vot?" He said in his thick German accent. "Vot did you vant?"
Seymour pulled him closer and slapped him on the shoulder. "Jolly good show old man. Well volunteered!"
"But I..."
"Okay." Said Keto. "I'm just going to massage this ointment onto your skin. I'll be wearing really thick medical gloves but I don't want you to worry about that, it's not because it's harmful."
Keto spread the ointment onto Wolfgang's skin and it seemed to be absorbed quickly.
"Do you feel any different?" Asked Seymour.
"Nein" Said the German.
"You should start feeling very lucky about now." Keto said. "What number am I thinking of?"
"Nien."
"No. Wrong. You should have guessed that correctly."
Seymour put his fingers behind his back. "How many fingers am I holding up."
"Nein."
"Wrong again." He changed the number of fingers he held up. "How many fingers now?"
"Nein."
"Wrong again. How many fingers now?"
"Nein."
"Wrong again. How many fingers now?"
"Nein."
"Wrong again. How many fingers now?"
"Nein."
"Wrong again. How many fingers now?"
"Nein."
"Wrong again. How many fingers now?"
"Nein."
"Wrong again. How many fingers now?"
"Nein."
"Wrong again. How many fingers now?"
"Nein."
"Wrong again. How many fingers now?"
"Nein."
"Wrong again."
"That's incredible." Said Dr Keto. "You have had over ten guesses and Seymour only have ten fingers. Statistically you should have gotten at least one right. I think this ointment might have made you even less lucky than before!"
Just then, the simmering ointment on Keto's Bunsen burner tipped and spilled over Wolfgang's foot. He jumped around in pain as it burned away his shoe.
"That's incredible. The likelihood of that happening must be really low."
As he hopped around, the sleeve of Wolfgang's uniform caught on the Bunsen burner, setting it on fire.
Then, a shelf on the wall that previously looked sturdy fell and dropped heavy medical books onto Wolfgang's head.
"You're really unlucky today." Said Keto.
<Tag Wolfgang, you've got an "unlucky" virus! What other bad things could happen to you? >