Brittany - "Riding the Rampant Rabbit"

Who: Brittany, Alota the toddler, Justin Pancake, and some of the Sheriff's guards
Where: Sherwood forest
When: After the guards showed up
<snip>
The guards pushed Brittany to the ground, and forced her hands behind her back.
Her face was pressed hard into the mud and wet leaves of the forest floor. One man pressed the gun hard to the back of her head, whilst the other stood on her lower back and tied her hands tightly with strong rope.
"You bastards, that really hurts... ow! Justin! Justin why are you doing this to me! I haven't done anything to hurt you!"
<end snip>
Brittany continued to shout and swear at Justin. She couldn't believe how he'd sold her out the way he had. She was even starting to even like him. Sure, he was a selfish freak but... Brittany stopped that train of thought. She couldn't believe that she'd felt anything remotely positive about Justin.
The little creep.
Alota ran over on her stubby little legs. She ran like babies run, without using their knees too much because they haven't yet realised what they're for.
Brittany's face was pressed against the muddy ground, so the toddler hugged her face. The Queen found it hard to breath with a baby on your face, but she took a deep breath. A lot smelled like... sick and poo.
But she also smelled like babies. Brittany sighed, she absolutely loved the smell and her eyes closed as she appreciated it.
Then Alota fell onto her bottom and looked directly at Brittany. Brittany felt her heart almost melt, the little girl was so incredibly cute. She wondered how anything so cute could even possibly be related to Seymour Niples, the most stuck up man she'd ever met. He had such unobtainable high-standards and was so self-obsessed.
A bit like her really.
She looked back. The guards that had tied her hands behind her back were now attempting to tie her feet, but she kept kicking them. "Hey! I've told people this before. There a lot of things I'll do for fame and money, I don't DO bondage!"
She then turned to Alota, who was gurgling and dribbling all over herself. She was also clapping her hands with excitement.
"Alota, hun. You're so cute!" She said. "How about making us a nice big wormhole so we can escape eh?"
Alota giggled. Then she turned around and started crawling away, the little tuft of her rabbit-like tail poking out of the top of her nappy reminding Brittany that the little baby wasn't fully Human. She must have got her cuteness from her mother, as well as the ability to burrow through wormholes.
"No Alota. Come back her and clap your hands. That's it. Good girl."
Alota clapped her chubby little hands and sparks started to fly. They swirled into a wormhole and sucked both her and the Queen through.
Meanwhile, Justin and the other guards turned to see a swirling red hole where their prisoner had been. The lead guard did a quick head count. "There's two of my men missing!" He said.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Who: Brittany, Alota and two guards along for the ride
Where: On top of a large wooden rabbit
When: Just after Jay's group see the wooden rabbit/dragon for the first time
Brittany falls out of the wormhole and lands legs akimbo on top of a large wooden rabbit. Alota falls majestically into her tied arms and giggles.
"Where the smeg are we, hun?" Said Brittany to Alota, or anyone in particular. The wooden structure was a few metres wide, and in front of them was a lazily-constructed wooden head, with two very large ears poking out of the top of it.
Alota started to get very excited. Brittany wondered if this was something genetic, and related to Alota having a rabbit's tail.
The two guards who had been trying to tie Brittany up at the time of their departure fell out of the wormhole too, and tumbled off the side of the wooden rabbit. They were both incredibly shocked, and didn't notice when the wooden structure turned and sprayed them with flaming oil. They ran around, every part of their clothes on fire. Eventually it engulfed their entire body and their charred skeletons fell down into a heap.
"That was weird." Said Brittany, and rubbed the rope typing her hands on one of the nails holding the wooden rabbit together. Eventually the rope was broken, allowing her to move her hands fully.
The rabbit spewed some more flaming oil, and there was gunfire, which seemed to hit the wooden monster in the mouth, where it evaporated without causing any damage.
"I'm glad you're a rubbish shot!" Brittany shouted, hoping that these people with guns weren't also the Sheriff's men. She saw some heads bobbing up and down in the bushes on her right. Someoen called to her.
"Who's that?"
"Only the sexiest girl in a bra riding a wooden rabbit you'll see today!" She boasted, and pushed up her cleavage for the benefit of any men watching.
"Britney?" Shouted Captain Chrysler. Queen Brittany? Why are you even in the 13th Century, and why are you riding a wooden fire-breathing rabbit? And why are you barely wearing any clothes?"
"One at a time hun!" She said.
Jay ran around to the back of the rabbit, where he assumed the flames couldn't get him. As long as he kept moving, the wooden rabbit couldn't turn quick enough to burn him.
"Pass me the baby, then we'll help you down." He called.
"Are you sure? She's Seymour's baby. He'll probably sue you if you drop her!"
Brittany threw Alota down anyway, and Jay caught her perfectly.
"Will you catch me too?" Brittany shouted. "I want to get off this thing before it gives me a splinter in my prize-winning bottom!"
She was about to jump, when a hatch on the rabbit's back opened, and a man with a beard poked his head out.
"Oi! Get off my dragon!" He shouted, and raised a hand with a serrated knife. He swung it at Brittany, she dodged, and kicked him back in the face.
"You can't threaten me, dickhead." She said. "I'm not the weirdo in a wooden rabbit."
She kicked him again, and he fell inside the hatch he came from. The rabbit stopped moving, and didn't spit out any more fiery oil.
Brittany shuffled to the edge of the wooden rabbit's back and Captain Jay helped her down. As he did she felt his arm, to check how much muscle he had.
"So. Hi big boy!" She said, teasing him. "Last time we met, you were just a Chief Navigation Officer. Look at you now, full Captain! You have no idea how much more attractive you are now." She flirted and winked at him.
Jay blushed slightly, and pushed her away. "I have a girlfriend you know." He said.
Brittany shrugged. "Was she voted FHM's sexist member of the Royal Family 2107-9?"
"Well, no... but-"
Jay looked around for a way to escape this conversation. Luckily Rosette was running towards him, constantly tripping up over her long dress.
<snip>
"JAY!" Rosette yelled, running towards the group. In front of them sat the
Dragon that they had been sent to destroy. She handed the datapad over to him
straight away.
"Nice dress." Was his first response. The other was "HEY! WE CAN GET HOME!"
Soon, he had the entire crew assembled, and standing around ready to do
something about the mess they were in.
"Right. We need everyone to split into four groups." He said, "Or just four
volunteers to help get us out of here."
he continued to read the datapad.
"Right. A time-traveller has placed some parts for a device that can get us
home... She calls it a singularity virus... whatever that means." Jay began to
explain, hoping to get everyone home soon.
"There are four parts to it, and they're all marked on this map. It doesn't say
what we have to do to get the parts, so do what you have to." He said, turning
the datapad off.
"The parts will be explained to you when you get there... I don't even know what
you're going to be looking for.... I'd guess its so no one from this timeline
can get to it, and do something wrong."
"DISMISSED!"
<end snip>
Brittany was annoyed that this "Rosette" girl had been getting all the attention. "Can't everyone just focus on me for a while longer. I'm only wearing a bra for gods sake!"
Jay pushed Brittany and Rosette off in the same direction. "Why don't you go and find the item that's number 1 on the list. The map says it's not too far away."
Rosette grabbed Brittany by the hand. "Come with me, we'll get you some clothes to wear before you catch your death of cold."
"Awww, but I like the men staring at my boobs..." Brittany complained.
<Tag SMAndy!>