Cmdr. Jason Smegg - "Historical documents"
>Jacon Stone Reporting to Duty" I just come in after have my Rectal area threaten by Bell. How Was I suspose to know that Vr games had >booby trap. I broghy from a one Eyes Homicadal deranges, theif. and if you can't trust them who can you trust. I ask what my order are
The chief-engineer-who-could-now-call-the-commander-Seymour-though-he-didn't-know-it-yet had to think for a moment to come up with some orders. "Um, how about checking out the engines to see if that funny robot really fixed them. And then, if you're feeling up to it, why not take a look at some of those VR games, that vampire one you mentioned, and also the 'Digi-Mon' one. I don't think they're supposed to act like that, either."
"Funny robot?" Stone asked.
"This is a weird place," was all Smegg had to say.
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Smegg decided for some reason to head on down to Parrots Bar. He'd heard there was something going on there, a karaoke contest or something. At the very least he could register his protest against the antiquated legal drinking age of 21; he was sure the barkeeper would agree, he'd get a lot more business that way.
Indeed there was a karaoke contest going on, although it was hard to tell except for the sound equipment all laid out; at this point no one was brave enough to go up and try to sing; someone really good must have just sung and no one wanted to sound bad in comparison. Everyone looked expectantly at the newcomer, as if expecting him to break the stalemate.
"What, you want me to sing?" Smegg said. "All right, I'll give it a try. Just let me think of a song."
Songs, songs, songs... what song could Smegg sing? (Sally sometimes sells seashells by the sunny seashore, seasonally.) He didn't know many songs that wouldn't get him laughed out of the bar. But then, with everyone else drunk, he could sing just about anything and no one would notice...
"Oh! I know! I know this song from some old tapes I had as a kid. I don't have the tapes to put them on the screen but I'm brave enough to give it a try unaccompanied."
Smegg stepped up on the platform and tried to remember the words. He started tapping his foot in rhythm and thought: Here goes nothing...
"Itsa cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere
I'm stranded here, all alone
Goldfish - uh, Let me fly on icarus's wings
Fun fun fun in the sun sun sun
I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose
Drinking fresh grapefruit juice
Goldfish soles nibbling at my toes
Fun fun fun in the sun sun sun
Uh, is there a third verse? I can't remember"
There were some murmurs among the audience.
"Let me warp off into hyperspace
Where the alien monsters roam
Oh, forget it. I suck at this."
Well actually he knew he didn't suck at this; his voice wasn't all that bad, he just didn't have any cue cards. The audience seemed to agree; there was minimal throwing and it was mostly just peanut shells.
(Just then some funny-looking guys in black jumpsuits came up and said in their funny-sounding voice, "We are Thermians of the Klaatu Nebula and we need your help..." Just kidding! Even I'm getting tired of these crossovers now!)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Red: "Welcome to the antique roadkill portion of the show we call --"Mike: "Yeah yeah can you go ahead and appraise this, I've got to meet with my parole officer in 15 minutes!"Red: "Okay, let me take a look at this... Mike, that's JUNK."Dalton: "Not to mention, it's MY junk!"