Dysart - 'Legless' part 2

Who: Dysart, Leatherhead
Where: Sci-deck halls
When: A few minutes after part 1
Like a pneumatic train Dysart's arms pumped their way down the halls of sci-deck
faster than any human being had a right to. The AI was actually quite surprised
at the pace that he could keep with this body, roughly the same as though he his
jogging. Regardless, the hacker really should have saw this coming and requested
spare parts.
Oh wait, he did.
They rebuffed him by saying that replacement limbs where far too expensive and
he should really just hope that he doesn't wreck those. He didn't know who was
running the JMC's finance department but seriously, penny pinching on a freak'in
experimental robot?
Are they *sure* they weren't an attachment of the government?
With a simple pivot Dysart's body gracefully turned a corner, the leg pants of
his holographic form realistically flapping and contorting with the movement.
Despite his pace he still managed to stop on a dime and do an excellent
impersonation of a deer stuck in head lights when he noticed his underling,
Leatherhead standing just beyond.
The bald, well-built stereo-typical redneck, only just finishing up mopping the
floors, treated Dysart to a gormless expression as he studied the jump-suit
wearing hologram. Business as usual then really.
"Hey Boss! Why're ya running around with your BALLS hanging around at chest
height?!" He spat out with all the eloquence of a wasted Ozzy Osbourne.
"Oh god... Uh! Leatherhead! This is... uh... aerobatics! Going around on your
hands may be... uh... though at first but it'll tremendously boost your
upper-body strength!" The Robot couldn't even begin to point out what was wrong
with what he just said.
"Really?" Leatherhead drawled earnestly. With a wooden clatter he dropped the
mop in the bucket and moseyed on over to where he studied his holographic
posture carefully. "...You must've just started, you look as LIMP as ever..."
If his real body actually looked worse, he might have taken offensive to that.
"Cute... but you know how muscular your legs are?-" At first it was just
anything to say to this idiot but now he was surprised how much he was getting
into it. "-THAT'S what my arms are going to look like by the end of this."
Leatherhead's eyes bulged cartoonishly out of their sockets.
"REALLY?!" The American couldn't do a handstand fast enough as he fell to the
floor like he was dodging a RPG. With a load thump he immediately fell back to
it.
"Uh... it's not really for everyone-."
"Shut up! My muscles got smaller in the hospital! This is just the thing! In
fact, I might do this all the time! Like, when I go into parrots bars and
someone gives me shit I can just pee on them without even pointing up!
AWESOME!!"
Dysart didn't even bother to respond as he tore down the hallway with a
horrified expression on his face. "What have I done?!"
~~
Who: Dysart
Where: Charlie's lab
When: 10 minutes later
The Robot's padded hands gently edged their ways into Charlie's Lab. In many was
it was lacking what over labs had. For example the tarting range, the
anti-matter capital ship turret and the chemical warfare plastic room- those
were new.
For the most part the floating robot seemed to keep a tight ship. Made sense,
he'd never seen him around other than stalking Dante (or more likely his armour)
with a wrench and panel-beating kit.
"...ah!" Dysart's voice box issued a breathy retort as he spotted Dante's armour
tucked away in a refueling depot. The large gun-metal grey suit was only slight
more intimidating than Dante himself but that's like saying that a full-grown
spinosaur was slightly more intimidating than a Tyrannosaurus Rex
"Alright... let's just hope this works."
Pumping his little arms furiously the Robot made his way to the back of the
hulking metal suit. Ducking around the flank of the suit his left arm began to
crawl up the side of the suit. After a certain height his other arm joined him
in scaling the suit until he managed to reach the shoulder of the suit. His
photoreceptors managed to notice the outlines of an entrance to the suit.
"Okay... now... how to open this thing."
Dysart's body froze as he heard the door to Charlie's lab snap open then close.
A synthetic sigh issued haggardly while the suitable sound of rushing air filled
the room.
"Now, what's on the schedule today?" A quasi-cultured American voice stated in
boredom.
"ohshitohshitoshit... uhhh... where's a port, where's a port?!" Panic rose
under Dysart's breath as his weak metal hands began to tear at what ever may
appear to be an info port.
With a silent 'thank you' to an unknown party he noticed an open port. Sending a
signal to his wrist his info-spike jutted out from under his hand and slightly
jammed it into the port.
A tidal wave of information rolled past his consciousness as he picked apart the
controls on the suit. Although the technology was alien he knew that the Krylon
technology in the depths of his mind supplemented his cracking. Within 10
seconds he'd cracked the suit, with a heavy clunk the back of the armor pulled
itself sides so that the occupant could enter.
Dysart crawling inside as best he could he rested his legless pelvis on the
padded suit's interior. Once more jamming his info-spike into a port inside the
suit he closed the suit behind him.
"Okay... okay... I just hope I was right about those servo motors or this is
going to be one short ride."
Dysart had no idea how much he would come to regret those sediments.
An concentrated expression passed over the hologram's face as the suit flickered
to life. With a twist and a push he accessed the controls. A single eyebrow pert
as the suit began to bark at him in an alien language.
"English, please."
"...Name and registration code." The voice paused for a moment as it tried to
find the correct language.
"There are some who call me Tim, and my code is because I'm the juggernaut
bitch." Dysart didn't give a damn if his name and code where incorrect, he was
going to hack this thing wide open like an icepick.
"You are not the permitted user of this-." *Click!* "-Unauthoised!-" *Snap!*
"-Violation!-" *Crackle!* "-No, Bad Robot!-" *Pop!* "-Greetings friend!"
A green light illuminated the interior as the HUD lit up like a Christmas tree.
The suit jolted slightly as the arms went slack, awaiting movement from Dysart's
own body. He'd have to control the legs manually which was what he was counting
on.
Pulling his info-spike away from the port he established a wireless connection
and pushed either of his arms down the holes in the suit.
"Okay... now to move forward...."
A with a loud, heavy clunk the Armour took a ground shaking step forward.
"Dammit."
Charlie immediately turned to him as gracefully as an obese ice skater.
"Oh! Dante! Didn't see you come in. I figured you'd be wanting your suit so I
prefueled it and even added a few new weapons onto it! Oh yes, and they're
requesting all security personnel down to the hanger decks."
As though he didn't exist, not for lack of mentally attempting to do so on the
part of Dysart, the hacker trotted past the floating machine in a desperate hope
that the robot would ignore him.
It didn't work.
"Dante...? Is something wrong?"
'Oh shit, oh shit, how did Dante talk like again? Erghh... I'll just have to
wing it.' The robot thought desperately before deciding on the safest option.
"ME DANTE... NO HAVE TIME FOR TALK- ONLY KILL." The voice box on the machine
filtered through the suit.
"*Sigh* Dante, are you drunk? Again?" The scientist replied, placing a weary
hand on his forehead.
"NO... DANTE ONLY TIPSY."
"Ri~ight. You know how you get when you're drunk and I'm still having to pay off
the time you did so with your *Armour on*."
"Uhhh... DANTE BE CAREFUL. REALLY." Yeah, even Dysart knew that this wasn't
going to work.
"Uh huh... what's say you sit this one out. I'll shut down the suit and get you
another cocktail with some sleeping tab-."
Dysart's hand immediately pulled itself out of the arm socket and jammed itself
into the info-port. Desperately the hacker attempted to set the suit to 'block
all frequencies, turns out that hacking a suit tends to muddle it up a bit and
turned on selects auto-acquire target lock.
"Target locked." The suit stated in a heavy voice.
Which would be Charlie.
"Oh Crap."
"Firing main cannon."
To Dysart, it was like being hit in the face with a flash bang.
To Charlie, it was like being hit in the face with the big bang.
Seconds later Dysart still couldn't get the ringing out of his ears and his
photoreceptors were still burnt out from the shear excess of light that he'd
just witnessed.
Shaking the fog out of his head he slapped the shivering HUD back to awareness.
His eyes zoomed upon what was now the remnants of Charlie and indeed half of his
lab.
To put it simply it looked like someone had exploded a volcano in here.
"I'll... uh... I think... umm... I'm...."
Dysart wordlessly opened the suit and climbed out. Crawling his way towards the
door in all haste and never once looking back.
<To be continued...>
OOC: Well, Lunacy murder and Grand theft Armour- what's next on the crazy
list...?