Haemorrhoids and Wormholes - part1

Who: Seymour, Lester, Queen Brittany, Clark Ren and Professor
Hasenbeker
Where: Professor Hasenbeker's lab
When: After they were taken to him for Haemorrhoid research
The team had only been moved from one cage into another. Only this
one was in a funky-looking laboratory, containing a white-haired
madman in a long dirty labcoat. The laboratory was a reasonably
darkened room, with tasteful table lamps and wall to wall was covered
in books. Seymour had been impressed by this initially, assuming that
all the books were scientific textbooks and journals, but then saw
one of the titles close up. "The karma sutra for the elderly."
Seymour shivered.
They had been placed into a cage with an electric forcefield stopping
them from escaping. The walls of the forcefield were opaque orange
and hummed with electricity. Queen Brittany touched the forcefield
over and over, each time giving her an electric shock.
"Your majesty, stop it, doesn't that hurt?"
She grinned. "No. It makes me tingle all over. I like it!"
Seymour exhaled deeply whilst the electric forcefield touched the
Queen in exciting places.
The mad professor looked at them after tinkering with a few test
tubes and science equipment. "So... who's first?" He asked.
Seymour, the Queen, and Lester demonstrated the best that Human
kindness has to offer by stepping back behind Clark Ren.
Professor Hasenbeker grinned. "Mister Ren, nice to see you again!
You've been very important to all of my experiments so far!"
Ren whimpered as he remembered all of the horrors of his previous
experiments.
A robotic arm decended from the ceiling and reached through the
forcefield to grab the Human/Armadillo by the waist. The forcefield
deactivated for a few moments (much to Brittany's disappointment) and
then reactivated.
"T-T-That was quite mean us." Lester said. "Hiding behind Ren like
that. He's had so much experiments done on him already."
Seymour shrugged. "He's probably used to them by now."
Brittany nodded in agreement.
Professor Hasenbeker picked up a syringe of experimental drugs and
prepared to inject it into Ren's arm. Seymour looked away, he was a
pansy when it came to injections (or anything else for that matter).
"The contents of this syringe is a mixture made up using some
interesting DNA from a very special baby from the Karangeth
universe." The professor said, holding it up to the light and
flicking it.
"No please! Haven't you experimented on me enough?" Ren shouted.
"You're right. You've had so many experimental drugs and gene-therapy
that it will ruin the results." admitted Professor Hasenbeker,
thinking about it. He looked at Seymour, Brittany and Lester making
them all feel nervous.
Then he quickly turned back to Ren. "But it's just so much fun."
He injected the serum into the man's arm and he screamed. He thrashed
about a bit but the robotic arm gripped him firmly by the waist.
Brittany pulled on Seymour's shirt sleeve. "He'll do that to us next.
Get us out of here!"
Seymour shrugged and looked around. "We're trapped in an orange
forcefield. What am I supposed to do?"
"I don't know. Do something!" She said. "As your Queen, I ORDER you
to do something!"
Seymour rolled his eyes, taking orders from an annoying
twentysomething spoilt brat wouldn't mean anything to most people,
but his faith in over a thousand years of British Monarchs compelled
him to do as she said.
"I don't know what you're trying to achieve!" He shouted at the
Professor. "How is giving people haemorrhoids going to help TransMed
get to the Karangeth universe?"
The professor nodded. "I agree. I've drawn the short straw in the
research department today. But these aren't normal haemorrhoids."
Seymour was about to ask what he meant, but soon found out.
<to be continued...>