Dean-ix rising

 The pilot of the starbug held fast, waiting for the immense blue hangar baydoors to open. This universe's ship was no faster at opening it's doors than the one he had just come from. Eventually they ground open, and he pushed the control stick forard, sending the ship forward and into the hangar bay,slipping one landing leg on the edge of the bay doors as he did so."Ermm...sorry..." he muttered back to the rest of his colleagues in the midsection of the ship. They might complain, but he didn't care. He was after all, the Chief of Navigation and could do pretty much as he pleased in the utility craft. "Prepare for landing!" he ordered and took the ship in as gently as he could manage. It turns out that "as gently as he could manage" wasn't frightfully gentle.The Starbug landed, and its legs bent under the force of the landing before the craft bounced back to its proper height.  The pilot triumphantly pressed the "door open" button and watched as the co-pilot's seat shot backwards, taking a somewhat surprised co-pilot with it. "Whoops. Sorry Amber." said Chief of Navigation, Dean Thomas, as he stood upto his full 6' 8" and turned around, to cast his eyes over those in his craft. "We'll open the doors manually" he said. The passengers just groaned and undid their safety belts. Amber slowly picked herself up off of the floor, groaning gently and shaking the dust out of her hair. They disembarked from the starbug and looked around. "No-one here to greet us?" asked Dean. "That's just rude...""Probably all evacuated when they heard you were flying..." Amber replied."What was that?""Nothing....um..sir...."The doors leading out into the corridor opened and a voice came from them."I don't know who your captain is..." it said "But we'd agreed with everyship out there that as the representatives of the "host" universe,  my shipwould be the one docking to make contact. You were all supposed to stayaboard your own ship."Dean looked at his feet, "Sorry...sir....",Amber looked at her commanding officer "Why have you gone all coy? "For god's sake Dean, show some backbone, your bad enough with our own captain, but I'd have thought you could stand up to someone elses!""Yes, well, you know, but he sounds awfully important..." Dean tailed off. Amber glared at him.  Dean, shuffled his feet, mumbled and then, suddenly burst forth: "Yes, well,we were meant to stay aboard our ship, that's true, but at least ... umm..at least..." "At least what?!" hissed Amber, "I have absolutely no idea," hissed Dean back, before pleading in a whisper "save this for me.""Why should I?""Because you started it with your 'why are you so coy' routine. Now do you see where it's got us!?" The two of them finished their pantomime whispering routine, as the voice at the door coughed surreptiously. Amber sighed and turned to face the speaker. "At least.......we...help you save on your fuel bill! All those starbugs flying backward and forward,y'know, credit crunch and all...""good save!" whispered Dean."You owe me" Amber replied, "I appreciate your concern over my finances.." said the voice, stepping into the light "I guess I'd better welcome you aboard...I'm Captain Jay Chrysler,and you ar...." he didn't finish his sentence as he laid eyes on the visiting CNO. "Dean? DEAN THOMAS?""Jay? JAY!" The two rushed towards each other, and started slapping each other on the back. "What?! But HOW!?" exclaimed Dean to Jay, whilst the Captain returned with a similar exclamation. The two friends looked at each other. Jay asked first. "So," he said, almosta wkwardly, "how did I die in your universe?""I was going to ask you the same question." said Dean, "but first, I need tocheck something.""What?" asked Jay."I think," Dean started, looking Jay in the eye, "we need to discuss this...""...over TOASTIES!" they both finished, before breaking into some chuckling.Dean's Amber coughed."What?" asked the CNO, "Sir. You're embarrassing us!""Oh come now," said Jay, "you guys are welcome aboard. Make yourself at home. And you!" he said, pointing at Dean. "Come with me."The two friends, albeit from different dimensions, walked towards Jay's quarters. Jay only had to stop and sign forms six times on the way back. "So," Dean asked, "How the hell did you end up being Captain?""Well," Jay began, giving a potted history of the events regarding the BD's hostile takeover, and the valiant fightback he had orchestrated after Dean's dramatic and fatal gesture to save a toastie. Cheese, ham and tomato, exactly the same as the ones that 'new Dean' had started making in Jay's quarters."I'm glad I went that way." said Dean, "it's how I would have wanted to go.""You weren't particularly pleased at the time." Jay said, remembering the moment."Well, I can't exactly imagine anyone being ecstatic about it." said Dean, before mockingly jumpingly up and down "woo! I've been shot! yeaaaah!""Good point, tastelessly made." said the Captain,"Why thank you." Dean bowed, before turning back to his toastie construction.Jay watched, in some awe, as the toasties were carefully prepared. They were truly going to be delicious he could tell. "So how did I go?""Well," Dean sighed, placing the food carefully in the toastie machine, adjusting them several times until they were 'just so' before sitting down across the table from Jay and grabbing a glass of water. "You know the Parrotts?""Of course.""You know the Jukebox?""Yes..." said Jay, worrying that his death didn't sound quite as beautifully heroic as he'd been going for."Well, in my dimension, a race called, the Krylons boarded and captured the Blue Dwarf during a recent war... We were trying to re-take the ship,  but frankly the BD is pretty much a lost cause where I come from. That's one of the reasons we arrived on a 'bug. Our captain has ordered an evacuation, especially after we lost our Commanding Navigation Officer," Dean said, gesturing to Jay. "Well, we ended up being locked down in Phil's lab, where we came across a shrinking device. We thus shrunk ourselves and the Raven... you know the Raven right?""Who doesn't?" asked Jay, trying to think of a single pilot, crew member or member of the general public who hadn't at some point filled in an insurance form regarding the mighty machine."Well, we had managed to find their high commander  leading an assault force in Parrotts , and endeavoured to take him out. However, they somehow became aware of our presence, and started shooting at us. Luckily, they were pretty crap shots, and not a single one hit us, but they did knock the jukebox into the wall, which crashed down and cracked off an entire engine and the tail of my ship.   We all  managed to eject without getting hit by shrapnel apart from you.""What do you mean shrapnel?""I'm afraid that in my dimension Jay got killed by a CD of 'Boyzone's Greatest Hits'."Jay contemplated the thought. The spiralling death plunge of the Raven, the plucky counter-offensive against a greater force. It was all there. The ingredients for the heroic martyrdom he had pencilled in for his own death was all there. And then to have it cut down in such a way. It.. it... He just felt dirty."Toasties are done." said Dean, who had checked them whilst the Captain was lost in thought. Jay took a bite, and was instantly filled with two sensations. The first was the feeling of the roof of his mouth being set on fire. 'Damn cooked tomatoes', Jay thought as his mind realised he wasn't going to be tasting anything else for the next few days, but this thought was quickly out-weighed by a second one:"MY GOD! It's a taste explosion!" Jay exclaimed, looking in sheer wonderment at the man who had created such happiness. Dean smiled. "Glad to see I've not lost my touch. It's kind of tough getting the time to cook these days what with being CNO and all, and being on the run.""Tell me about it." said Jay, as he bitterly thought about how little spare time he had as a Captain. "I can help with both of those though.""Oh?" enquired Dean, as he took his first bite of toastie. "HOLY SMEG! OW! BLIMEY! That's smegging molten!"Jay watched as Dean leapt around the room, cursing to high heaven over toasties, and he realised just how much he missed his old buddy. "Do you fancy coming aboard as a crew member here?" he asked. Dean stopped cursing, and thought about it."Why not? What have I got in my dimension? No BD, no Raven, no Jay, Amber is gagging for my job and will probably get it...Ok." Dean decided. "I'm in.""Awesome." said Jay."Fancy a drink?" asked Dean,"On duty Dean!" Jay exclaimed, pointing at his insignia."And...?" asked the BD's latest crewmember, his eyebrow raised and a smile on his face... < Ladies and gentlemen, this was a joint post between myself, and one of my favourite Blue Dwarf characters and writing partners we've ever had,. please put your hands together, and welcome back Chris Allan, AKA Lt. Dean Thomas!!!!>  
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