The Cannonbowel Run

<snip>
"Still." Said Efof. "It's good to be home."
"We're in the belly of a green reptilian dog."
"I know... but... we're in the belly of a green reptilian dog ON THE
BLUE DWARF!"
<end snip>
"So…" Lester asked. "What now?" he scrunched up his nose as the
image on the viewscreen showed a semi-digested rotten Chicken
McNugget float past in the monsters stomach acids.
"Now." Said Jay, lifting the control sticks upward and flicking a
few switches "we get out of here…"
"What are you doing.."
"Where theres a way in, theres a way out…." Jay said.
"Wait…" said Rufus. "You're not…OH GOD JAY NO!!"
"Got any better ideas?" he waited for a moment.
"Well we could always…."
"TOO LATE!!" He began firing the external holo-projector at random,
launching a maelstrom of random household objects into the stomach
lining, causing the the creature to yelp and it's belly start
rumbling.
Jay then thrust the control stick forward, sending the Enlightenment
into a nosedive and plunging into the animals digestive juices.
"Won't this stuff damage the light bee?" Justin asked.
"Nah" Rufus replied "So long as we remain hard-light it'll keep it
safe."
The screen showed a valve-like opening on the stomach wall gradually
emerging through the acid, it was opening rapidly in an involuntary
muscle contraction which dragged half the beasts stomach contents
along with it. Jay, had made the creature want to crap itself. He
flew the ship straight into the opening, with the ships thrusters on
full throttle.
"All I have to do now, is keep ahead of the torrent of faecal matter
following us!" Jay said as he skilfully piloted the vessel around
the animals bowels.
"Piece of cake!" he continued "We're home fr….." Jay didn't get to
finish his sentence as the tsunami of excrement caught up with them,
and accelerated them rapidly, throwing them all back in their seats,
if they had any and to the floor if they didn't. The Enlightenment
was now surfing on the crest of a sticky-brown wave.
"Jay!" Kara yelled from the back of the bridge "You're going to hell
for this!!"
"Relax! Look! There's some light up ahead! HOLD ON!!!"
The ship reached the light source, and squeezed from the darkness
into the light through a small opening with a pop. The
Enlightenement emerged victoriously from the bewildered creature's
sphincter and soared triumphantly, if a little dirtily, through the
promenade toward the ventilation ducts.
"See!" Said Jay "Nothing to worry about!"
<tag – let's get us home guys!>
--- In JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com, "Onion" <theonion770@...>
wrote:
>
> ---------------------------
>
> With the Krylons being totally useless without leadership, the SS
> Enlightenment could travel through Krylon space without any more
> distractions. The other Krylon space ships they saw were flying
> around in circles, or crashing into each other.
>
> They managed to find the Blue Dwarf parked near a large space
station
> with many other salvaged ships. It looks like the Krylons had
planned
> to strip it down for parts, but luckily it seemed mostly intact.
>
> -------------------
>
> Who: Jay, Rufus, Lester Seventeen-dot-Phelps, Efof, Kara and a few
> others.
> Where: Bridge of the Enlightenment
>
> "Rufus, is there a Hangar bay on the Blue Dwarf big enough to park
> in?"
> "I don't think that will be a problem Jay..." Said Rufus.
> "Why?"
> "Remember Holly said something about an 'emergency power saving
> function'?"
> "What is it?"
> "It looks like we've been shrunk. We are approximately all four
> centimetres tall."
> "What?!!"
> Rufus nodded.
> "But... that's ridiculous." Said Jay.
> Lester stepped up. Actually it makes perfect sense. "It uses up
less
> holographic energy, therefore extending what little battery we
have
> left."
> "But... what about the light-bee. Surely that can't shrink so
much."
> "It's based on multi-volumetric nano-technology, it can be as
large
> or as small as needed."
> Jay smacked his forehead.
>
> Rufus flew into the Blue Dwarf's Hangar Bay, the giant bay doors
now
> seeming even more giant.
> "Seems pointless them opening all the way." Jay mused as he
watched
> the doors slowly close again behind them.
>
> Rufus moved aside and let Jay pilot their tiny holographic ship
> through a door, down a corridor, up a deck, through another few
> doors, and then out onto the Promenade. Just between Marks and
> Spencers and the Cornish Pasty shop.
>
> "Ooh can we stop for a pasty?" Efof said.
> "What would you do with it?" asked Lester. "It would be bigger
than
> you! Like... the size of a house!"
>
> Efof considered this. "Well I wouldn't' have to eat it all at
once."
>
> "We need to the Drive-Room to-"
>
> "We're not alone." Rufus called unexpectedly. This was true, it
> looked like this Dimension wasn't only home to the Krylons. The
floor
> of the Promenade was by several small green reptillian creatures
> about the size of dogs.
> "Rats?" Efof asked.
> "Green rats the size of dogs." Rufus corrected, checking the
> scanner. "They are vermin, they probably stowed aboard from the
> Krylon ship that captured the Blue Dwarf."
> "Like rats then?" Efof asked.
>
> Rufus rolled his eyes. "Look out!" He called out and pointed at
the
> viewscreen. Jay swerved to miss one.
> "I think they're hungry. Change us into something that doesn't
look
> quite so appetising." Jay ordered.
> "Changing..."
> The SS Enlightenment changed into a Cornish pasty.
> "Oh sorry, we don't have many holographic shapes on file anymore.
> I'll just change again..."
> "Too late!"
>
> All that could be seen on the viewscreen was a large mouth coming
> straight towards them, and then just blackness.
> "I think we got eaten." Said Kara. There were some nodding of
heads
> and Rufus looked guilty.
>
> "Still." Said Efof. "It's good to be home."
> "We're in the belly of a green reptilian dog."
> "I know... but... we're in the belly of a green reptilian dog ON
THE
> BLUE DWARF!"
>
>
>
> <OOC – We're finally back! We haven't been on the Blue Dwarf since
> April, so that's four months! Remember we are still in Krylon
space
> though. From here we need to get out of this annoying monster,
anyone
> got any ideas? And then get to the Drive Room to use the Wormhole
> Drive to get back to our own universe. Tag! >
>