Smeg happens

Tara was bored it was a day till she was due at Disney (if we are still going???). She saw a bar
"What the heck" she thought and went in, "barman, double Vodka please"
"Are you sure little missy"
"Yes i'm frelling sure, and don't call me little missy!!!"
"Well, okay if your sure" The barman poured the drink... Time passes

Five hours and LOTS of different alcohol later Tara was slumped outside the bar. The next thing she remembered was going for a walk and falling asleep in a chair with a book.
When Tara awoke she was in a shuttle, and it wasn't moving. There was an owners licence on the passenger seat with her name on it. "Oh smeg what have I done now" then she said "Who is playing those drums ... oh god it's my head." The shuttle was the earliest model of a midget it was called an "Astro Blaster" the coat was rusty and it was quite slow too, there was a drivers seat, passenger seat and only half a rear seat. The book was called 'How To Fly In Three Easy Steps' Tara decided to give it a go and started reading... "Number One, insert key and turn, Number Two press start button..." she did and ten minutes later it started "Number Three press acceleration pedal" she did and the 'Astro Blaster' lived up to it's name and shot up into the air and flew at an amazing 100km per hour "Number Four .... CRASH" as if on cue the engines cut out Tara looked at the dash board the was no fuel "Oh smeg" Tara said and braced herself. The small craft made a large crater outside a memorial but was miraculously undamaged. The last thing Tara remembered before falling of the seat onto the ground outside was seeing a black and orange midget take off and Phil's face quite close by
"Phil" Tara said barely audible then "we always meet in the funniest of places".....
<over to you Phil... what you going to do now Tara's unconscious?>