Efof - "I'm dating a Freak!"

Who: Efof, Mk8, Rika, Barf and lots of hot alien girls
Where: Mk9's ship
When: After Rika and barf boarded the ship
<snip>
Efof sprinted into the room, covering his eyes as he did so hoping to
avoid the gaze of the 4-breasted women. All this really accomplished
however, was him knocking over both Barf and Rika, and then
subsequently falling into the custard.
"Mk.9! You'll never believe this!"
<end snip>
Efof was flapping around the room in so much distress that Rika had to
slap him to get him to calm down.
"It's Fferna….." he said. "She's… she's…. a FREAK!"
Everyone gasped, and Efof got a lot of accusing glances.
"How do you mean? she looks fine to me." Said Mk9. "Apart from she
didn't take her top off… there are strict rules on my ship!" He looked
accusingly at Rika who was still rebelling against his order and
keeping her clothes on. She fired him back an angry look and crossed
her arms.
"She's only got… two breasts!" Efof said loudly and all the dumb
blonde Ffionians in the room gasped. There were murmurings of "poor
girl" and "I'm glad I'm not as deformed as she is".
"What do I do… she's really nice and everything but…" he shuddered.
"How could I be with anyone THAT deformed?!"
"Efof listen… you've been around Humans for a long time now…" said
Mk9. "I thought you would have gotten used to… you know…"
"What?" Efof said blankly.
"You know, human girls only have two."
Efof gasped. "Really? Oh my gods!" he put his hand to his mouth and
stared at Rika's chest, who instantly became self conscious and
uncomfortable from his stare.
"I never noticed. You mean all this time they've been parading around
with only two? Oh my gods, that's horrible!" Efof cringed as he
thought of it. "All those women… eugh, I've been surrounded by freaks!"
Mk9 laughed. "Surely you would have noticed? On Tv? Films?"
"I always turn away for the romantic stuff."
"What about when we've been to the beach and the female crewmembers
wear bikinis."
"It's rude to stare too much."
"What about the lapdancing joints down the far end of the Promenade?"
"It's dark."
"What about…. Oh I give up." Mk9 admitted eventually.
"So what do I do?" Efof almost throttled the robot for help.
"Well do you like her?"
"What you mean the freak?"
"Yes… I mean NO! She's not a freak! Well apart from the fact her
birthing organs are on the top of her head she's NOT a freak… much."
Efof was getting mixed signals. "So you're saying I should still be
nice to her."
"Probably… look, I'm not a Ffionian, or a human, I have no idea what
you should do. Ask one of these two." He pointed a robotic hand to
Barf and Rika, who both instantly turned away, not wanting to get
involved.
"I suppose two aren't that bad." Efof curiously tried to poke Rika in
the chest, but she angrily slapped him away. "Don't even think about
it!" she said. Efof gave her a look like a sad kitten, curious and
innocent.
Efof nodded, smiled and walked confidently back towards the exit. He
was going to go back and tell Fferna that it didn't matter if she was
a freak, she was HIS freak.
But before he reached the exit. A flustered Fferna came through the
door. "I invoked the ritual of Tsiboukoparakaliari!"
There were gasps. Mk9, Barf and Rika looked around in confusion. It
had obviously caused a stir because even the women who had previously
been fighting in custard were now getting up and paying attention.
"The ritual of Tsiboukoparakaliari?" Efof said. "Why? That's crazy!
It's an ancient ritual that hasn't been invoked in thousands of years!"
"Actually we used it last Tuesday." Said one girl. "It helps settle
rows between quarrelling couples."
Efof sagged his shoulders and put his hands in his pockets.
"Okay so what happens in this ritual of Tsi…boo..pap…a..whatsit
exactly?" Asked Mk9.
"The ritual of Tsiboukoparakaliari. Fferna has to fight all the girls
on the ship for… my affection." Efof said. "In raspberry jelly."
All the girls started to run off the bridge, it was clear that the
ritual was going to be held somewhere else on the ship.
"I really didn't want this much of a fuss…" Efof weakly shouted after
them.
"Hold on." Said Barf. "So your girlfriend is going to fight every
other girl aboard over YOU?"
Efof nodded.
"Then why the hell are you stood around here with your hands in your
pockets – when you could be following them and watching!" he slapped
efof on the shoulder and ran after the girls. Efof's eyes glowed as he
realised the gravity and followed on.
This left only Rika and Mk9 on the Bridge of the ship, and very soon
Mk9 was following also.
Rika stood on the empty bridge and stared at the stars flying past.
"So who's going to fly this ship? Hello? …. Hello?!!"
Meanwhile in Keto's ship, which was at the rear of the fleet, a
tormented man dressed as the Joker noticed as one of the ships in
front of them was veering dangerously close to the other.
<OOC - tag anyone!>