When Ed Met Jed - Finale

Who: Captain Jed Calvert & Father Eddie Monsoon
Where: Shuttle Wreckage, Mars
When: After Eddie was shot
Eddie lay in a foetal position in the dust, he'd lost the feelings
in his left leg and almost a pint of blood, well he said lost when
it was really just a pool around him.
"Now what in the hell you do that for, jesus, you bastard, that
hurt!" Eddie shouted at Jed, who was merely standing over him,
pistol in hand and grimace on his face. If Eddie didn't already know
it, he would have told Jed that he had gone completely insane. But
that's not an accusation you throw at the man with a gun aimed at
your head.
"Because there is no way in hell I am letting you put one foot on MY
ship. I don't care what no goddamn Pope or Bishop or even the Lord
God himself have to say! They can all kiss my ass!" screamed the
Texan. If it wasn't the fact that Jed's last bullet hadn't destroyed
Eddie's leg from the knee down, the Priest would almost certainly be
dead. But he wasn't going to let Eddie know that, it was more fun to
see him soil himself before he let on his gun wasn't loaded.
"You got no choice mate, the Space Corps are right gits when it
comes to this. You accept it, or be replaced" said a seriously pale
Eddie. Jed thought this over for a while, swinging the gun round on
his index finger. No ship meant no place to smuggle. No place to
smuggle meant no extra cash. No extra cash meant trouble. Damn.
"Aw, hell! First chance I get I'm gonna whack that Pope and to hell
with making it look like an accident!" shouted Jed at no one in
particular, his voice dislodging a couple of sheets of metal, making
them fall to the ground with a clatter.
"Great mate, good decision. Now can you please get me to a hospital,
or at least a Pub?" sighed Eddie, finally passing out.
"Dammit! Don't you faint on me you lily-livered, yellow-bellied
booze hound!" Jed said, shaking the comatose Eddie violently. The
wail of sirens filled the air, signalling the arrival of the Martian
Law Enforcements. If he was caught, this could look very bad on his
record, although the irony of Eddie getting him sent to Prison twice
would not be lost on him.
"God Dammit, I am not going back to jail `cos of you" he grumbled,
picking Eddie up and swinging him over his shoulder. He kicked some
dust over Eddie's now drying (and very likely 90% proof) blood to
hide it and trotted off towards the hill. He didn't want to save
Eddie's life, but he valued his enough to keep him alive. And
anyway, Doc Keto could fix him up plenty good. In fact, as a reward
for saving Eddie's life, he helped himself to the dying priests
wallet. And his watch. And his gold fillings. Well, charity does
begin at home. Before long, the green bug shaped vessel Jed had
arrived it was on its way back home.
<Tag Onion>