*Action* - "A sneaky bushwack"

Who: Captain Jed Calvert
Where: Blue Dwarf's Flight Deck
When: As the fighting continues
Jed stood on the first floor scaffolding overlooking the fighting on
the flightdeck. He saw Mk8 floating around and then get pinned down by
the French soldiers. His instinct was to go help, not necessarily to
help the small robot out, but just to satisfy his fighting instinct.
The same fighting instinct that skinhead football fans get after a few
beers and tauntings from the other team's fans.
But Jed surpassed it. In his youth he'd have leaped from the balcony
and used a Frenchman's skull to cushion his fall. Trust him, he'd done
that before. Growing up in an area of space so close to New France
he'd encountered their regimental army on more than one occasion on a
smuggling run, and had been forced to fight for his life.
After a few moments it looked like it was going to be a stalemate. But
then the majority of the French started to retreat. The troops boarded
their drop-ships and took off.
The Blue Dwarf crew shouted in joy and Calvert joined them, he fired
his twin pistols into the air.
But then there was silence. One of their ships remained.
Calvert saw a team hiding behind some sturdy barrels, using them as
cover.
A man walked out, the General Calvert had spoken to in the Drive Room.
The General simply walked a few metres then stood still.
"I want to talk to Calvert!" he demanded.
Mk8 popped up from hiding and trained his weapon on the Frenchman.
"I have a clear shot Captain!" Mk8 shouted up to Calvert, waiting for
some authorisation to kill him.
It was so tempting for Calvert just to nod. But his natural curiosity
made him wonder what the General wanted.
Calvert leaped off the balcony, slid down a short pipe and landed on a
Frenchman's head. There was no need for this manoeuvre at all, he just
wanted to show the General he was more of a man of Action than
Negotiation.
He approached the General.
"Whut?" Calvert said, and spat some chewing tobacco on the mans shoes.
"We have finished our inspection Captain Calvert. We find your ship a
threat to us and will confiscate all your weapons."
Calvert looked around and laughed. "Alright buddy, nice joke eh? Looks
like all your men have pissed off and left you more high and dry than
a giraffe's fanny!"
The General raised and eyebrow, then grinned. He spoke into his wrist
communicator then simply stood there.
After a few seconds Calvert realised what was happening. A low whine
caused him to turn around. Every security guard in the room suddenly
had no weapons. They had been beamed away.
"Calvert to Drive Room, what's happening?" Calvert yelled into his
personal mobile.
"All weapons have gone sir. Including all ship-to-ship turret shells
and handheld weapons."
"What the? Why you son of a bi-" Calvert went to punch the General.
"Hurting me will not get them back" said the General. "All your
weapons have been beamed by a long-range transporter to a secured
building in New Paris."
"Why you son of a whore!!" Calvert lost his rag and decked the
General, then pulled him up by his shirt and bitch-slapped him until
his face was red. The General yelped and tried to crawl away on all
fours, but Calvert kicked him up the arse every step.
Calvert handed a rusty pipe to Mk8. "Insert this into him if he tries
to get away."
--------------------------------------
Who: Senior staff and crew
Where: BD's meeting room
When: Later
Everyone who wanted to go down to the planet had turned up to the
meeting. Since Jed had become captain, the "formal" staff briefings
had become a bit of a farce, anyone could turn up, and there seemed to
be more disregard for rank and status. People just shouted out
anything, people talked over each other, and nothing ever got decided.
Jed was just glad Seymour couldn't be there.
The chatting and arguing really got to Jed and he stomped his hand on
the table. He would have emptied a few rounds into the ceiling but his
trusted side-arms had been beamed away with all the other weapons.
"What's this meeting for again?" Jed asked.
Everyone looked around blankly. "To agree how we get our weapons
back?" Chris Harris offered hopefully.
"NO!" Jed stomped his fist again. "It's to agree how we're gonna kick
some French ass! Getting the weapons back is a given."
Everyone nodded, even though some reluctantly.
Jed hung his head. "That was rubbish, now give me a proper holler of
enthusiasm!" He riled the troops and they all cheered.
"…then we're gonna get Seymour back!"
The troops booed.
Jed hadn't told anyone about his secret plan to sell Seymour to his
old acquaintance `Titus'. He was certain nobody would mind. In actual
fact, the money wasn't too great, but from Calvert's point of view it
was a really good excuse to get rid of the old English windbag.
It made it easier that he knew Seymour wouldn't come to any harm. He'd
just be ransomed in front of Queen Brittany, and Brittany would pay up
as she didn't want the bad press, then Seymour would escape and
hopefully not make it back to the Blue Dwarf.
Chris Harris raised his hand slightly. "I'm all for kicking the
French's arses and everything, but how do we do it without weapons?"
Calvert looked sullen. He was going to say something he'd never said
before. "We have to be smart."
They booed again. "I know, I know! I prefer to run in guns blazing as
much as any cowboy! But a sneaky bushwack is sometimes whut you need
when things are looking grim. Just think of it as a challenge."
Harris nodded and now Mk8 spoke. "So how?"
Calvert laid both hands on the table. "The weapons are stored near a
military training ground. Whut we'll do is enlist in the French army."
"Join the foreign legion?!" Joked Mk8.
Jed nodded and turned to Jay. "I need yer staff to rough up a few
Starbugs, scrape some paint off, make sure there's no English on, only
French words… and nothing rude! It needs to look authentic. Then we'll
all climb aboard, dress like a French ponce and we'll go enlist!
Simple eh?"
"But none of us can speak French!" Said Harris.
Jed rolled his eyes, then held up some small electronic devices
"European Translators! Buy them on galactic eBay!" actually he'd
stolen the entire batch from a guy who was going to sell them on
galactic eBay.
"So we're sorted! I'll meet y'all in the shuttlebay in an hour."
<Tag everyone! Lets go!>