The True Horror of 'Null Space'

aka, "the zone where normal things don't happen... very often..."
**This is a JP by myself, and Onion!**
Who: Jenny Bond
Where: Les Royal Niples
When: Valentines evening
Jenny awkwardly stood in the foyer of the Blue Dwarf's poshest
restaurant. She really hoped not to bump into its patron, Seymour. But
she had double checked the rosters to make sure that he wasn't working
on that night.
She held an anonymous valentines card that she'd received that morning
with a note attached. The note simply told her to come to this
restaurant at 8:00 this evening, and was signed with a simple kiss.
When Jenny had first received this letter she had dismissed it,
screwed it up and threw it into the bin. But it was sheer curiosity
that lead her to the restaurant that night, she wondered who would
dream of sending her a valentines card.
The waiter lead her to a table for two with a candle already lit and
she awaited her date.
"Hello Miss Bond!" said Seymour and sat down in one graceful move.
"Seymour!" Jenny shouted, slamming both palms down on the table in
frustration. She was about to get up but Seymour stopped her.
"No Jenny, please…"
"Why? Why shouldn't I leave Seymour?"
Seymour's voice was calm and milky, like he was deliberately laying
the charm on thick. But it didn't help to win Jenny over, in fact if
just frustrated her more.
"Well, I want to do it for our baby. I want us to be together for the
baby."
"No. No chance Seymour!"
"Why? I'm good natured, I'm interesting, I'm educated, I have good
dress sense…"
"You're a smeghead!"
Seymour sighed. "Okay, well lets just be friends. That's the least we
can do for our baby. I mean, it's inevitable that we're going to have
to see each other to take care of the baby. So we might as well try to
get along."
Jenny nodded. At least that part was true. She was now stuck with him.
And in some ways she could see it would be easier of they got along
rather than fought all the time.
She sat down again. "Okay."
They sat in an awkward silence. A waiter passed and almost cut the
tension with a pepper mill.
Seymour tapped his fingers on the tabletop and jenny pulled at her
hair in frustration. After a few minutes she was ready to scream.
"Is this it? Have we got nothing to talk about?" she almost yelled at him.
"Alright." Said Seymour. "What about baby Alota?"
"What about her?"
"Is she okay? Is she in good health? I haven't even been able to see
her. My own baby!"
"Your part in the pregnancy was minimal, how come you suddenly take
interest in her now?"
"Well. I suppose... I suppose I care about my daughter. I want to take
part in her development and childhood. I want to make sure she gets a
good education, and become prim and proper, like all ladies in the
Niples family."
Jenny rolled her eyes.
"Yes Seymour, i know you care about her... But in all seriousness, I
don't want her to be your sense of 'prim and proper'" she said, using
very accentuated air quotes, but due to the Null Space that surrounded
them, as she quoted, her arms turned to tentacles.
"oh great... just what i needed..." she said, using the suckers on her
newly found appendages to grab the bottle of wine in front of her, and
take a long sip.
"Anyway... where was i..." she said, slowly appearing to lean in
towards Seymour.
"yes... Your version of 'prim and proper' is totally different to
mine, i don't want her to grow up to be the kind of woman that is
always wearing a dress, and the Queen's English is not a requisite of
life." she began, every second leaning even closer towards Seymour,
even through the table.
"Why are you getting closer to me?" she asked, as the space around
them warped until she had to lean back to stop from kissing him.
"what's going on?!" she almost screamed, her legs moulding into the
chair, pinning her to her place, and leaning in ever more.
"I knew there was a spark in your heard... honey" Seymour said
smoothly, with a glint in his eye turning side on, and leaning on the
table, thinking she was after a kiss.
Jenny opened her mouth to speak, to her, she had said "Seymour, don't
even try it, i don't even like you very much, let alone enough to kiss
you."
But what Seymour heard was completely different... he heard
"Seymour, i want you now... kiss me..."
"oooh" seymour said seductively, leaning in slightly, not needing to
do much as Jenny appeared to be leaning through the table. He closed
his eyes, and began to kiss her. Instantly Jenny sprung back to where
she had been sitting before, and looked at him in horror.
"I can't believe you just did that..." she said, but once again,
seymour had heard differently.
"Seymour.. i think i love you, come by my room later tonight..."
Jenny then walked out of the Restaurant, her four wooden legs clanking
softly on the metal beneath her feet, and the padded cushion that was
the seat of the chair folded up sligtly, as she attempted to stop
people from sitting on her.
<and that, my friends, is the true horror of null space. taggers!>