Five Years ago - Sorley - Anxiety

Sorley took off his sneakers, pulled off his socks and put them in his shoes. He rolled up the cuffs of his loose jeans almost to his knees. Then he waded into the creek running along the farm. The Lake was better for swimming, but when Sorley needed to calm down he preferred the gently running water of the stream. It had been a rough few days. He had finally told Gelf about being trafficked by his foster parents - or rather he managed to write it down on a small piece of paper which Gelf destroyed after reading.

Sorley could see in Gelf's eyes that she did not think any less of him. She was as loving and supportive as ever. She did not pry. Sorley was unable to give her any more details than the names of the foster parents that exploited him, he could not talk about it.

He had agreed to start therapy, Gelf promised to be with him. Of course Sorley was anxious about it. It hurt to remember what had been done to him. He still had not been able to say it out loud. He was supposed to start therapy today. Which was why he was out in the creek. Trying to calm down before having to see Leimomi. He realized that in his anxiety he had stopped the water in the creek. He let out a slow exhale and the water moved again. His phone’s calendar chimed. Sorley sighed. It was time to go.

He reluctantly stepped out of the creek. He drove the water off his legs and feet, then pulled on his socks, put on his shoes, rolled down the cuffs of his pants. He gave the creek one more look, then walked to the house.

Of course after Sorley went through all the trouble to screw up his courage he wound up not seeing Leimomi that day. The expected telehealth message never arrived, when Sorley called her there was no answer for hours. Later they received a call from Frisk telling them that the village had been betrayed and invaded. Many were missing or dead. But Leimomi had escaped unharmed, and she called Sorley shortly later promising that she would start his therapy as soon as things were settled.

“It’s okay. There’s no hurry.” Sorley said numbly. His trauma seemed so insignificant compared to what happened to the village. And a part of him was relieved to avoid it for a time. “The survivors must need you more.”

“They need me but you matter too.” Leimomi said.

Sorley wondered how much Leimomi already knew. He knew she was good friends with Frisk. He had privately seen Frisk months ago, a few weeks before he bought that first box of condoms. It was awkward but he wanted to make sure he had not caught anything while being trafficked. He knew how Gelf felt about him, what she wanted to do by that point and did not want to harm her in any way. Frisk was understanding, professional and did not pry, but Sorley wondered how much she read between the lines. After she got his test results back she gave him a clean bill of health, much to Sorley’s relief. Frisk had always respected privacy, but if she thought it would help him to share what she had figured out with the therapist, would she?

“Just let me know when.” Sorley said, his ears turning red. They said bye and the call ended.