Locke, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels

Locke, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels

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Locke did his best impression of storming into his housing apartment trying to make his footfalls sound intimidating by stomping with each step. If asked he really couldn't say whom he was trying to impress, and it didn't matter anyway as his high comfort boots absorbed the impact perfectly and noiselessly as they were designed to do. He was mad and instinctively tried to let others know it. He was ready to throw a tantrum, but what's the point if no one is around to watch? So, of course, he yelled at someone, but that was pointless too as this droid had no feelings. "YOU, GOLDEN-ROD, COME WITH ME." He had stabbed the air with his finger toward C42. Locke marched into his office, pulled off his official robe-wrap, and sat down in his chair. The protocol droid did its best 'run' which was just a slightly faster walk, just as loud as ever. "Yes, Senator?"

"I want a meeting with Halcyon. NOW!"

"One moment." The lights in C42's eyes flashed quickly indicating a transmission of data.

"I'm sorry, sir, there are no openings." C42's tone was it's normally measured albeit reluctant warble.

"We'll see about that!" Locke rose from his chair and grabbed his robe again. He had it on by the time he left the apartment.

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It had been less than a week, but Locke realized he was already breaking his personal vow to never be in this office again. The receptionist was a Twi’lek, wearing all black and a very practiced scowl. Locke couldn't help but notice her very sharp teeth as she spoke to him. "You're assistant droid should have told you, Ms. Halycon's schedule is completely booked."

"For how long?"

"For the foreseeable future."

"Well, how far out does her schedule go?"

"A long long time."

"And there isn't ten, or five minutes where I could speak to her?"

"Correct."

"How is that possible?"Locke tried to flex his authority. "I am a Senator."

"Oh, I know who you are Senitor Floozy."

"It's pronounced Fluzhi."

"Of course, Senator Floozy, you're on the do-not admit list. So until the heat death of the univsere you will not be added to her schedule."

"And how do I get off this list?"

"Ms. Halycon is the only one who could do that."

"And what must I do to convince her of that?"

"That's for you to determine Senator. I will say I’ve never seen it happen." Her smile showed how much she enjoyed torturing Locke about this.

Locke looked into the completely black eyes of this woman, and could see there was no changing her mind. "What if I just barge in there right now?"

"If you try to cross the threshold without permission, about ten million micro joules will be sent through your system. If you're lucky you'll die from the jolt. If unlucky your internal organs will be burned and liquify over the next hours, each one sending unimaginable pain through your nervous system which would now by hyper excited and you'll be muscle locked into place so that you can't even cry out for help, you'll just be like that until your heart gives out, probably exploding..."

"OKAY... I get it." Locke considered for a minute she was probably bluffing, but he wasn't willing to risk it. "I'll be back."

"Be sure to have an appointment Floozy." The receptionst's sarcasm was undeniable.

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Locke had returned to his desk and sat brooding for a few hours. He realized the biggest problem he was facing was that he had no idea how to play this game, he didn't know the RULES. Then he smiled. He did know someone who did.

"DROID!" Locke shouted, and sure enough C42 came in. It was apparent now his earlier tactic was unsustainable. "What is your name?"

The droid bent slightly back at the waist mimicking surprise. "C42"

"Okay. C42. Can you make me an appointment with Senator Linora Deliphe?”

Again C42's eyes blinked in rapid fashion. "Yes. I take it the sooner the better?"

"Yes."

"She will see you in two hours."

"Perfect." Locke felt much better-having something, even the smallest thing go right.

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The Baklid office was modest and clean. The receptionist was much less of a nightmare. A large mural of what must have been a Baklid landscape was in the main waiting room. Linora had described the planet being mountainous but Locke had no idea any planet could be this lush. His experience was with a much more arid planet. He doubted he would be comfortable with so much humidity.

"You can go on in."

Locke did and again he decided the best term to describe the room was reserved professionalism. "Thank you for seeing me so quickly. I need your help. I want to start a fight." Locke began and smiled coyly, "With you."