Strange Tales of Aeran: Return of Ola pt.1

Roughly 100 years ago, 12 years or abouts after that Raid thing

“So there I was just sitting in my lamp after the last guy made a stupid wish. You know you can warn them till you are blue in the face about reading the manual, but they don’t ever listen. You’d probably have a better time convincing a brick wall it was made of jello than getting someone to follow the instructions. Can you believe some of them asked me to read it to them, doesn’t anybody read anymore…? Anywho, I am Ola Denholm”

“It was hard to tell how long had passed since the previous holder of the lamp had…well best not get into that, not yet anyway. But eventually someone new came to hold the lamp.”

In a cloud of smoke and dancing technicolor light I appeared. “Greetings Holder of The Lamp. I am The Genie Ola. With my phenomenal cosmic power I can grant you many of your heart's desires.” I told him. “There are a few rules.” I explained snapping the book into existence and handing it to the man. “Everything you can’t wish for is in that book, along with the rules and guidelines, along with several warnings of accidentally poorly worded wishes, forgive the abhorrent handwriting I have to make addendums quite often.”

The man paused and looked at me for a long moment before screaming, so I did what I’ve often done and plugged my ears with my fingers, letting him scream himself out. When he had finished I whipped him up a mug of water. “That one is free, well they are all free but you don’t have to ask for it. I’m just giving it to you.” I told him, he took it with caution. “If I wanted to kill you I would do something more spectacular than poison.” He took the water and drank, shocked that it was so cold in the desert. “Neat right?” I asked, giving a winning smile. “And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.” I said, granting me a confused look, but what else is new. “It’s like a big heavy chunk of ice that floats in cold waters up north, and because they are so heavy you only see a teeny tiny piece above water and the rest is below. So I’m saying there is a lot more to my magic if you go deeper.”

“So the water comes from this ‘iceberg?” the man asked.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I replied, pausing a moment. “Well yes, that is where the water came from but not that point of what I am trying to tell you. You can wish for almost anything, you just have to be careful how you word it. My magic is very exact and if you don’t pick your wording very precisely it could have ironic and unforeseen consequences.” I explained. “For example. A man once said he wished to be a hero. He turned into a sandwich and was eaten by seagulls, see a hero is a name for a sandwich on a long bread sliced horizontal and not vertical, and you don’t just turn back…so…” I smiled a nervous smile letting him fill in the blanks.

“That’s…unsettling.” he replied.

“Iceberg…” I said in kind.

“Ice…Oh!...oh…” he said, getting white in the face.

“Word your wishes carefully. And read the book.” I told him again.

“What if I can’t read?” He asked, “Can you read it to me?”

“No, I can't read it to you.” I told him, mumbling about “Nobody reading anymore. What is up with that?” Taking a breath. “Just say ‘I wish I had the ability to read’. The book will line up with the language of your country of origin and you’ll be able to read the book, and not get turned into a sandwich or inside out.” I explained.

“Did you say…inside out?” he asked me.

“Hmm…no…did I? That was meant to be an inside thought not an outside thought. Just forget I said that…” I said, forcing a smile.

“I don’t know that I can.” he told me.

“Welp more reason to not mess up your wishes wording.” I said.

–

Several days later the man called me from the bottle ready to make his first wish.

“Okay Genie.” the man said.

“It's Ola, but that’s fine. What is your wish?” I asked, twiddling my fingers in anticipation.

“I wish to possess enough wealth to rival even a sultan.” the man said confidently.

“I can not grant that wish. If you had read the book you would have known that.” I informed him.

“I did. I just figured it was worth a try. I know Genies live their tricks and might have just been one to mess with the greedy into being crushed by a pile of gold coins.” he said. “Fine. Let’s see. I wish you to provide me with clothing one station above my own, in perfect condition laid out neatly before me at my feet so that I can change into them, that are in my size, please do not make them in fabric of yellow, pink or black.” He said.

“I can do that.” I said, “Real easy.” I clasped my hands, and did a little hip shake, on the third shimmy the clothes poofed into existence in a little cloud of smoke. “Ta da! Your new clothes, just as you asked.” I shouted, giving spirit fingers. “I went with dark blue and white. But hear me out. Magic, they won’t get dirty like every other white clothing.”

“Amazing.” he said, pulling off his ragged shirt and starting to kick off his pants.

“Eep no…Warn me first.” I shouted spinning on my heels, face hot. “You don’t just do that…call me when you are done.” I told him, disappearing back to my bottle.

Once I was back in my bottle I let out a sigh of relief. “Well at least he didn’t turn into clothes…or worse.” I said getting slightly excited at possibly having an owner for more than a few minutes. “And he read the book. Good…finally Not that I personally wrote it but someone took a very long time to make that book, and it was a shame nobody ever took the time to read it.” I thought. “Sure the book is a dry read but between being bored for a few hours and being eaten by seagulls I’d personally take the former over the latter.”

To be continued…