Real Talk

Conner had gone to the coffee cart it was going to be a long day. he had the next for days booked up with four girls that won the auction. He got into the line he looked to see who else could be around. he saw Jocelyn walking out of a hall he had noticed her avoiding him some he wanted to talk with her but never seem to get the chance. he gave a smile to see if she would talk to him now.

Jocelyn gave him a nod of acknowledgement. Before she make her way over. Midwest-niceness winning out on her want to not talk. "Hi." she said to Connor, not a brightly as the other times.

"How is it going, Jocelyn," he asked. he could tell there was not a lot of eye contact he wondered what was going on. "Can I get you a coffee or something?" he asks.

"It's fine." she said, "I guess we could get a hot chocolate. It's a bit late in the day for me to have coffee."

Conner smiled. "I would be happy to buy you a hot chocolate. He walked over there was not much of a line and bout the drinks he walked back to Jocelyn. he haded the hot chocolate. "Be careful the cup is hot. How have you been have not seen you around much?"

Jocelyn took the cup gently. "Yeah, I've just been going to classes and the dorms mostly lately. Haven't been feeling the best. Happens sometimes with my medication so I just avoid being somewhere it'd be hard to be sick in." she told him.

"That sucks, sorry to hear it. I hope you feel better," he said taking a sip of his drink. "So did you bid in the auction? Conner asks.

Jocelyn shook her head no, "I couldn't have afforded anyone anyway." She said, "Not really something I'd want to do anyway. Making people do stuff for me isn't really something I'd be comfortable doing"

"The auction is not for everyone," replied Conner taking a drink of his coffee. "So what else is new with you? I am sure you heard about what happened with me and the auction. what a mess that was." said Conner.

Jocelyn stared at the cup in her hands. "Yeah, I heard." she said somewhat flatly. "You sure are popular huh?" she asked, taking a drink. "Got your pick of plenty of pretty girls, must be really good at talking."

"I will be honest I don't really pick them. I normally just wait to see who is interested and work that way. It's not a secret most girls know that. I don't intentionally lie to anyone so if they ask I will tell them. All they have to do is ask." He took a sip of his Coffee. "Honesty is what keeps me out of trouble with so many girls. Maybe that's why they like me?" He seemed to question himself. "I am sure you have some guys lined up asking you out," said Conner.

Jocelyn didn't respond right away. She paused thinking for a moment but after far to long she came up empty. "Whatever you say Conner." she replied, "If that's what you think it must be true." she said before taking a long drink, as much as she could before it started to burn her mouth.

He was cont convinced what she had said was what she is thinking. He was silent for a moment. If she had been avoiding him he was not sure why. He felt something was wrong a while back the day she was standing to the side watching him like she wanted to talk. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her. "That was not what I expected to hear." He looked around to make sure other people were not too close. "OK, Jocelyn, what do you think then? I want to know," he asked concerned. The concern was not so much about him more about her.

"What DID you expect you to hear?" she asked, "Shouldn't you be hanging out with on of the six girls your 'interested in' I'm sure they are far more interesting then me. They hang on your every word and are wrapped around your finger. Honey Coated Words as my mom called it." she said all with no eye contact. "I think you got yourself into the auction mess because..." she stopped biting her tongue. "Never mind."

"six? Oh.... it's not like that at all. There are only two. I am mostly hanging around." he stopped and paused looking at the floor. "Say what's on your mind don't worry about me. I am not going to assume anything and not so arrogant to think everyone wants a date with me. I think I have messed up with you. But you need to say what's in your mind. no matter how harsh it might be. Never know it might teach me something." He said with a comforting smile.

Jocelyn thought for a moment. "I'd rather not." she said, "I don't want to come off as someone people would consider 'bitchy' or a 'prude', It'd be best we don't talk about it. Not like it matters, anyway." she added, not seeming to drop her guard even a little.

He did not want to push it. He could only guess at what she could be thinking. He knew he had done something wrong and to her. "I Just wanted to give you the chance to express how you feel. To tell me anything. I have never thought you were bitchy or a prude. You are better than that. You might be guarded. I know you have your reasons. But I accept my friends the way they are. I have done something wrong I think. I hope one day I can make it up to you." he paused. Thinking what he could say but he came up blank not knowing was really started to bother him. "I know you have your reasons I respect that. Just know if I can help you or make it up to you I am here," he said sincerely.

Jocelyn shook her head, "I think I just need some time." she said. "I don't really know how to explain to you what the issue is, I'm still trying to figure it out myself." she explained. "I don't want to keep making a thing of it. I don't want to dwell on it. I just want it to pass. So just forget it for now."

Conner looks at Jocelyn. "OK, whenever you are ready then I will listen. Just know I am here if you need help with anything or need to talk." He wanted to give her a hug. Conner step forward then stopped. He was not sure with Jocelyn if that was the right thing to do. "Liston I have a hard time reading you. So sometimes I am not sure what to do. If you need time you have it. Whenever you are ready I am here." Conner said sounding reassuring. "I am sorry if I hurt you in some way." He said earnestly.

Jocelyn took a deep breath. "Listen..." she said but paused. "Listen," she repeated. "I went through a lot to get to the point I'm at now. I know you keep the 'You look perfectly normal' thing going. I know I don't look like a freak, but where I came from people didn't treat me to well. Either they had bitter hate, or outright ignored me. I didn't have many friends and had No one looking at me like I was attractive or worth while. Then you come along, you make me feel like a princess in a Disney movie for something, oh then, but then the next pretty girl you see you do the same thing to her. Go off, sweep her off her feet make her feel special. I don't expect you to want to be anything other than a friend, and I don't think I'd want anything more than that now anyway. You know I waited for four hours on the beach the first day? I didn't see you once." she took a breath but continued before he could interject. "You don't get it and it's fine you don't, I don't broadcast my secrets because that keeps me from being hurt. But you also need to know that you need to figure one thing out quickly, before it hurts someone who can't dust themselves off. Be mindful of who you lead on to thinking they're a princess. I've been hurt by more people than you, just don't hurt someone sweet like Blossom, into something bitter and sour."

Conner let out a big sigh. " I feel bad. It was not intestinal what happened on the beach. I had to keep helping with the....." he paused thinking. "I have no excuses. I left you on the beach and only talked to you for a short time." he had a conflicted look. Yes, I do make girls feel like a princess. I will not apologize for that. You all should feel that way. You have shown me that I need to be more careful I had no intention of leading you on. I am glad you got to feel special, you should. I do want that for you. But in the end, I just made it worse for you. Know that people here do not look at you weird not out of our group and no one hates you either. This is my nature and how I deal with girls." Conner seems to want to ask something then stops. "I thank you for being honest with me. I hope you can forgive me for doing that to you," he said seriously.

Jocelyn nodded, "Forgiveness is a long road." she said, "We'll have to work on it." she added throwing her cup in the trash and walking away, leaving Conner to think.

Conner's head sank as he looked at the floor. Very few girls he has had this much trouble with. There would be 10 in his lifetime Jocelyn will be one of them. He was disappointed in himself and how the talk went. He shook his head he would have to swallow his pride some. He need to get his head into the game. He now had to deal with Alex Conner hoped it would go better.