"Scrapheap non-challenge"

There are many universal constants, one semi-realised constant is
that you can't get quicker than a Kwik-fit fitter. However, Efof,
Jack Febuggure, Chris Harris, Mk7 and new boy Benjen Stark were
about to realise that this was Kwik-Fit's busiest time of year.
Who: Efof, Jack Febuggure, Chris Harris, Mk7 and Benjen Stark
Where: Some planetary starship repair/refitting yards a few light-
years away from the rubble of Earth
When: After the Hymenoptera were sucked into the wormhole
Chris Harris piloted the Starbug down to the rocky planet and landed
at a run-down repair yard. There were a lot of starships hovering
overhead, and many parked around the complex – either frantically
being worked on, or waiting to be repaired.
The team got out and looked around at the busy scene.
"Looks like we've found a party!" Said Efof.
"Hmm, not a very good one." Said Jack, looking out to the horizon.
The planet was pretty desolate apart from the noisy mechanics yard.
"These must all be evacuees from Earth, and ships that were damaged
in the battle. No wonder they're all booked-up."
"What are we doing here again?" asked MK7, smaller than the others
and weaving around peoples feet, trying not to get stepped on.
"Phil… um.. I suppose I mean `The Captain' wanted us to come and
find a certain machine component." Said Chris, showing everyone a
picture of it in a Maplin catalogue. "Some kind of power source, I'm
not sure what he's planning."
MK7 and Efof hung back as the group walked into the complex,
avoiding the welding sparks and heavy machinery moving around.
"So who's the new guy?"
"Benjen Maximillian Stark, a yank in Security." Said MK7.
Efof looked around ominously. "A new guy on an away mission…. How
long before you reckon he gets into trouble?"
MK7 laughed metallically. "I give him 40mins."
"Really?" Said Efof. "He looks kinda goofy, I give him 20."
"Goofy? YOU look Goofy dickhead!" Said MK7.
Efof pulled his hat down lower and ran to catch up with Benjen, who
was looking for someone in charge.
"Hey Benjen. Catch this!"
Efof threw a JMC standard issue walkie-talkie to Benjen, angling it
so that to catch it Benjen would have to lean over a spill of engine
grease. Efof grinned childishly as he hoped Benjen would slip in the
grease so they could mock him.
But much to Efof's disappointment Benjen caught it fine and tossed
it back. "Cheers dude, but I already have one."
Efof stepped back to catch the walkie-talkie and accidentally
backed into a vertical conveyor, which snagged onto Efof's coat and
yanked him upwards into the air. He screamed in shock and waved his
arms around like a frightened chimp.
---------------------------
Later, the team found someone in charge who explained that they were
far too busy to find the component they required, so directed them
to a scrapyard a few hundred meters away from the complex.
They entered the scrapyard, flanked on all sides by huge towers of
wrecked ships, vehicles, machines and components.
Harris, Benjen and Jack started scouring the scrapheap, jack finding
a small quad so he could zoom around Scrapheap-challenge style.
Efof again hung back with Mk7. "This is it! Dangerous scrap
everywhere, sharp metal, huge towers of jumk… the noob will
definitely get himself into trouble here!"
"Don't kid yourself Efof!" Said Mk7.
Efof pointed to a large half-sphere glass dome from some kind of
building that was propped up on some scrap. "look at that, it's a
humiliating accident waiting to happen. Benjen might try to remove
the thing propping up and get trapped underneath… then we can all
point an laugh as he tries to get out!"
Efof bounced over to the dome excitedly. "Benjen, just give me a
hand lifting out this piece of junk…. That's it… just stand there…"
Benjen pulled and the large glass dome came loose, it rolled over
Benjen, then flipped on its edge like a coin and fell on top of
Efof, trapping himside like a toy in a snowglobe.
Efof face turned to panic as he pressed it against the glass, then
continued banging on the glass – his voice all muffled as everyone
laughed at him.
The group decided to leave him there until they found the component
they were looking for, then Jack finally blasted him out.
They headed back to the shuttle, or at least thought they were
heading towards the shuttle. And didn't notice how unbelievably lost
they were getting. They argued about which direction to go in, even
MK7's digital memory was useless, as he explained his TomTom GPS
circuitry had broken.
After a few more minutes of hopeless wandering, Chris spotted a sign.
"Warning, this junkyard is security patrolled by the savage
Hyperdodan megabeast of Qualm."
"The what?" asked Efof.
"The savage Hyperdodan megabeast of Qualm."
"The who?" asked Benjan.
"The savage Hyperdodan megabeast of Qualm!"
"What's that?" Asked Jack.
"I don't bloody know! I'm just reading the sign!" said Chris.
They looked around, hoping the megabeast, or whatever it is wasn't
around.
"Actually, I think I've heard of it." Said Benjen. "It's barely
sentient… about as intelligent as a car parking attendant… and can
get extremely nasty, ridding its victims temporarily of their
senses."
"Like make you go mad?" Asked Jack.
"No… senses, like sight, touch, smell and hearing."
"Oh well that's not that bad." Said Jack.
"I suppose that's why its guarding a junkyard, not a government
building!" Said Efof.
"But even still, it'll be pretty annoying, so I'd rather stay clear!"
"Um guys…" Said Efof.
"What?"
"What would you say if I told you it was right behind us?"
Everyone froze.
"We'd either call you a stupid wanker for such a lame joke, or we'd
be in serious trouble." Said Jack.
"Ah right." Efof paused. "Then what if I told you I accidentally
stood on its toe?"
"Then we'd just call you a stupid wanker because we'd-"
"CHEESE IT!!!"
Everyone bolted in different directions, apart from Benjen who
slowly turned around to face the Hyperdodan megabeast…
<OOC- Tag!! Over to Benjen or anyone else on the team>