OWEN NUMAN IN HELP!

I've been getting a bit bored of the posts/storylines lately, and
I've suddenly realised that I haven't been mentioned in the past 200
posts, so if its alright I'm just starting a new subplot.
********Owen Numan in, HELP!****************
Owen was sitting at his bar, doing nothing basically apart from
watching the same episode of Big Brother for the 500th time, when the
portable robot postman named Mike dropped 10 letters on Numan's head.
Owen looked at them. 8 of them were bills, 1 was a letter from an ex-
girlfriend which he immediately threw in the bin, and the other had
massive red letters stating: BAR EXPECTIONS WORLDWIDE.
He put his gloves on and carefully opened the letter. It read:
Dear Mr Numan,
Your bar has been up for a while now and not taking in any income,
you've only had 19 customers in 5 months. Plus, your bar has over 15
toxins in the air (all unknown), and nothing in your bar works
properly. If you don't sort this out by the time we visit you in a
months time, your bar will be exploded into 5 million pieces.
Regards, BAR EXPECTATIONS WORLDWIDE
Oh dear. He looked around. They were right. Nothing worked. No-one
was there apart from a drunk in the toilet. (If you can call it a
toilet, more of a pit).
what will he do?
*************************************************************
So, if anyone wants to post in order to help Owen get the bar in
order, please do.