Help! Help!

OOC: OOPS! Looks like everything got fixed while I was passed out!
Guess I'll do a catch-up post.
IC:
Zack was flying. It was a wonderful sensation. Billowy white
clouds drifted past him. He bobbed and swayed gently on the
currents. The straps of the flying machine on his back nestled
firmly against his shoulders. Then he smacked his knee hard enough
to bring tears to his eyes.
He opened them. He was being half-carried/half-dragged across
the promenade by the back of his jacket. His knee had just banged
into a scutter, who was even now giving him an offensive gesture.
He looked up to see who was carrying him. It was the two-headed
Blotz. One of the heads grinned down at him evilly.
Zack screamed. "Help! Help! Save me from this maniac!"
Someone came running, and Zack looked at them hopefully.
It was Dr. Keto and the Pink Tree. Both had super-soakers,
dripping with what could only be OINTMENT.
Zack looked back up at Blotz. "Help! Help! Save me from THAT
maniac!"
Blotz lifted his BFG-9000 and sighted in on Keto, but the doctor
was faster on the trigger, and Blotz got a double dose of
hallucination ointment. He fired three incendiary heavy-explosive
high-velocity laser-guided armor-piercing rounds into the ceiling,
then melted, dropping Zack in the process.
Zack hit the deck running. No more ointment for him!
The Tree pursued him, squirting ointment from a dozen water
pistols. After a merry chase through several passageways on the
deck, Zack rounded a corner and came face-to-face with Keto.
Whipping around, he slammed into the Tree. Ointment went everywhere.
Zack waited for the nausea to begin, but nothing happened.
Surprised, he stood and checked his pulse. Everything seemed normal.
He patted himself down, then gasped. Where was Cubie's control
panel?
Zack sprinted back to Stewie's, dripping ointment all the way.
-----
Michelle Dubois was straightening some of the racks that had
been jostled by the grouchy giant searching for Sporting Goods. Her
shoe tapped against something, and she bent down to pick it up.
It was a smooth green case. Popping it open, she noted the two
buttons.
"Must be one of the pagers," she thought to herself. Putting a
price tag on it, she took it to the pager display and left it with
the hundred others.
-----
Will Zack have nightmares of Ointment again?
Will someone be surprised when a holographic woman jumps out of their
new pager and beats the stuffing out of them?
What's the mark-up on a used uninsured Space-Time travel device that
is WAY out of warranty?
Tune in next time . . .
~Zack Richards - soggy ST-Fugitive~