Hugo First: Part 1 of 3

Who: Hugo
Where: Stasis block B
After what seemed like the end of infinity, or to Hugo an instant
second , the weathered door of what can barely be classed as a
stasis pod unlocked with slight loud squeak. Confused, he looked at
the door and sighed as the plain military grey re-enforced door
started to ease its' way open.
Stretching his arms, Hugo steps out of the pod to be greeted by
Holly's voice. "Back? I don't even know where I`ve gone." replied
Hugo as he started to venture aimlessly around the floor of his
current level. "Quite far actually Hugo." " While you've been
stiffer than an old man hooked up to a lengthy episode of Gina and
the revenge of the killer g-string, the crew have been subjected to
quite a few situations that`d leave skid marks the size of Texas
lining your long johns and rattling your knees". Hugo grins "Yeah?
So what have I missed?".
After a small debriefing in the team room, Hugo resides back to his
quarters, passing crew members rushing to Parrots bar for reasons
not known to him, a perfumed scientist wearing what could only be
described as a pink frilly apron. He didn't care. Hugo just
wanted to get some rest before he went back on duty. Chuckling his
way down the corridor, he recapped the events which led him to
stasis.
--- A store room, three months after the launch of JMC Blue Dwarf ---
He was searching for an A.I. Chip for a drinks machine he was
fixing, rumbling his way through dust covered crates full of old
robot heads, random parts and strange devices, Hugo couldn`t help
but realise the strange things the crew had put aside. Talking
shoes, solar powered torches, it was quite amusing to Hugo as he
went on rummaging away in the store room.
After a good few hours he was almost ready to give up, he had gone
through several crates and nothing, but then he stumbled across a
device jammed between a spare arm and the inner wall of crate. After
a good few tugs and a little bit of elbow grease Hugo could
eventually hold the device in his hands. It was a small grey device
about the size of a keyboard. Flashing lights, buttons, leavers and
knobs plagued the top, an antenna erected from the rear and handles
were embedded on the sides.
Playing around, he was surprised the device still worked and
started pressing buttons, turning knobs, anything to get a reaction
from the thing. "HEY!" The machine cried "stop playing around with
my knob" Hugo looked surprised, surprised he was that the device
still had its' voice synthesizer in tact. "Do midgets wear
skirts with pockets in the knees?" asked the device "Of course I
can bloody well speak". Hugo laughed at his find "Well bite my
nipples and call me Betty" he chuckles " I'm Hugo, and you
are?".
An upbeat voice wailed an answer to Hugo's question. A fun and
friendly portable scanning device was not what Hugo wanted on his
Christmas list, but at a guess his birthday had come early this
year. "You wouldn't, by any chance, be a 7658/BETA59-B series would
you?". "7658/BETA59-B!!!" The device said with a lack of
enthusiasm "That stupid git with a swirly thing? Hugo, I'm offended".
Hugo placed the scanning device on top of a crate and leaned,
standing, on a crate opposite. Laughing away at the thought that he
offended a short range scanning device was a new experience for him.
What would the device do, he thought to himself sarcastically, blind
him with its' flashing lights and ping him to death. "Hugo, you're
about as funny as an android for sale that's got a head shaped
like a triple ribbed condom with the only promotional tag `used, but
not for long' ". Hugo walked up to the short range scanner and
paused for a second "At this rate I'll take you to the brig and sell
you to the highest bidder. There you'll have the biggest soap
droppers strip you down, tie you to the wall, and use your antenna
with a tub of KY jelly while reading the latest edition of Captain
Johnny and the yuppy kid"
As silence now filled the room, Hugo stood up and reverted his eyes
to a toppled crate in the far corner. Jump leads, spare batteries
amongst just some of the mess. He had spotted a Talkie Toaster.
It's casing was beyond repair and wires were hanging out. To
most this would be trash, but Hugo noticed the main PCB intact and
salvaged the A.I. Chip inside, placing it in his jacket pocket and
walking back to the middle of the room. Thoughts filled his head, a
thoughtless wonder filled his mind and he ventured back towards the
scanning device.