Niples "Seymour and Picard share a moment"

<snip>
"Now, Captain, is there any area where you need my expertise? In
coolness perhaps? Or maybe as the most popular person to evey captain
this ship?" Seymour enquired.
"I'll think about it, Seymour, but your certain field of expertise
makes it difficult to work out exactly what is the best department
for you."
<end snip>
Who: Eric, MP, Johnny, Alota, Farkas, Keatsy, MacArthur, Dante, Jenny
Bond, Seymour, McJohn and others.
Where: Drive Room
When: After Adam's post
Seymour sulked for a minute, then started to get itchy feet. "Well
there's no use sitting here and talking about it, lets get into
action! I'm going to go board the Enterprise with the others." He
stood up proudly.
Jenny looked from left to right and hesitated. She was supposed to
be keeping an eye on Seymour, but this did sound like a good plan
too. She stood up. "Me too, I'll race you. Last one on the
Enterprise is a wet blanket!"
She pushed past Seymour and headed to the Flight Deck. Seymour
looked embarrassed at the thought of a girl winning him at anything,
so ran after her, tripping her up on the way.
Seymour got to the flight deck and burned off in a Blue Midget. He
saw the Enterprise with the Raven crashed into its bridge. He donned
a space suit and opened the airlock where he grabbed a shuttle
towrope and Tarzan-swung from the Blue Midget through space towards
the Enterprise's bridge. He squeezed through a broken section of
bulkhead where the Raven had crashed into it and pushed himself
through the forcefield that was sealing the bridge from the vacuum
of space. The forcefield sealed again behind him.
"Aha! Die startrek scummers!" Seymour said, entering the bridge and
striking a Karate pose. He then paused as he saw that Jenny Bond was
already here. "Hey, how did you get here so fast?"
"I just docked and came aboard. It was simple. I didn't feel the
need for unnecessary heroics."
"But unnecessary heroics are necessary to look cool!" Seymour
insisted.
Mr Worf saw Seymour and started to advance on him, picking up a
Klingon Bat'leth and waving it expertly around his head. Seymour
checked his pockets quickly. "Ah crap…"
Jenny raised an eyebrow. "You forgot to bring a holowhip didn't you"
"Erm… well not forgot as such, more …. Misplaced."
"Yeah right. Good job I brought a spare!" Jenny gave him the
holowhip and Seymour lashed out at the advancing Klingon, but he
dodged it expertly. Seymour tried again and again, but the Klingon
moved with the grace of a dangerous ballerina. Worf raised the
bat'leth ready to strike, and Seymour cringed, wondering if a
holographic blade would hurt. But luckily Chris Harris intercepted
the blade with his own gunblade.
"Good work Mr. Harris!" Said Seymour as Chris fought Worf back.
Seymour found a target that was more suitable to him. The measly
spotty Wesley Crusher. He whipped the boy with his holowhip and
Wesley cringed in fright. "Aha, got you now!" Said Seymour,
continuously whipping the defenceless moron. Seymour was about to
stick the holowhip up somewhere painful, when the turbolift doors
opened and Dr Crusher walked into the room. "What are you doing to
my son?!!" she yelled, and leaped across the room to bitch-slap
Seymour. She chased him around the bridge smacking Seymour on the
back of the head.
Jenny sighed and tripped Beverly Crusher up, she hit the ground with
a thud and Jenny casually shot her with a modified holographic
weapon. The doctor screamed and disappeared, here holographic sprite
deleted.
Jenny turned to Data, who amongst all the fighting an chaos on the
bridge, was still tapping on his computer console. Jenny held the
holowhip to his neck. "What are you doing?"
"I am navigating the ship to avoid the space vehicles outside. There
is one particularly persistent ship that scanners have recognised as
the Phoenix, I am automating the phasers to target that ship… "
"Ok, what you're going to do is change the target to the Planet
Express ship out there, it's the green cartoon-looking one."
"But there is no logic-"
"Just do it smart ass!" said Jenny.
The turbolift doors opened again, this time Keats ran out with a big
grin on his face. He waved something around in his hand. "I've got
Geordie's visor!" He said, throwing it across the room. Geordie came
through the door next, with his arms outstretched, obviously not
being able to see anything. "I.. my visorial focal point optical
nerve relays have temporarily dissipated into an unknown region of
space time..." babbled the chief engineer.
Geordie walked into the wall, looking for his visor. Keats tripped
him up cruelly.
"Please please would you refrain from retrieving the michael from my
person!" Geordie said, but Keats snook up to the blind man and
kicked him in the balls. Gerodie winced and started falling to the
floor.
"I Appear to of challenged gravity one to many times with my
confusing speech patterns, thus, i am now currently descending in a
horizontal fashion until such time that I am parallel with the
floor".
Seymour looked around, there was someone on the Enterprise crew he
hadn't seen yet, the person he most wanted to meet. He walked
towards the Captain's ready room, and entered.
"Ahh, good day to you." Said Captain Picard. He was sat comfortably
behind his desk.
Seymour grinned and folded his arms. "Captain Picard, oh how I used
to admire you…"
"Cup of Earl gray?" Picard offered.
"No thanks Captain." Said Seymour. "I used to like it. I used to be
like you y'know. So posh, so proper, I even used to talk and dress
like you… but then I realized it didn't do me any favors, people
though I was so boring! So old fashioned, such a fuddy duddy."
Picard raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"You heard me. How are you the Captain of the flagship…. You're so
boring! Look at you with your Early Grey tea… how old fashioned!"
Picard sighed. "Sit down. Please."
Seymour reluctantly did so.
"Now listen, you seem to have a problem with getting the respect of
people…" started Picard.
"I used to… now I'm cool and groovy, and down with the kids!"
Picard sipped his earl gray. "Well maybe so, by the looks of your
clothes your definitely…trying. But to get peoples ultimate respect
you have to set yourself apart from them, dress smarter, speak more
eloquently…"
"I used to do that, but it didn't work!"
"I don't mean do it and throw it in their faces that you're posh and
they're not, the same way you're trying to force it in people faces
that you are `cooler' than them right now."
Seymour thought about this. It made sense… he had been forcing
himself to be something he's not recently, and the memory implant
didn't help. Making him think he's a cool surfer dude. It just made
his ego bigger.
"Now drink your tea." Said Picard, offering the Earl Gray to him.
Seymour looked at the fine china teacup and smelled the Early Grey
smell. The smell of refinement, it made him feel posh again, more
like a Royal Ambassador should be. His hand shook as he brought the
tea to his lips… and when he tasted it he became enriched again with
the sense of greatness, that he was better than the rest of the
crew. Not cooler. Well maybe a bit cooler. But better, higher,
posher.
The door opened and Chris Harris stuck his head in, he was still
battling with Worf, but had him in an embrace. "Seymour you should
come and see this fight, I'm doing really really well!"
Seymour tured around. "Mr Harris, I do not talk with lower crewmen
such as yourself, please refrain from speaking with me."
Chris twitched. "Eh?" he then leaned in a bit further and shot
Picard with his gunblade.
Picard was deleted, but in the moment before he disappeared, Picard
and Seymour shared a look. A look that only the cream of society
could share.
Seymour walked out onto the bridge where everyone was still
fighting. "Listen up everyone, I have had a good chat with my
brother in arms Mr Picard. And I am resuming my role of Royal
Ambassador fully as of now, I do not ever want you to address me by
my first name. Only the title `Mr Ambassador' will do, or in special
occasions, `your highness'. I will be in the shuttle awaiting a
chauffeur."
Calum, Chris, Phil, Keats and Jenny looked at each other. "What was
that?"
"Not sure, I don't think its important."
<Tag- lets finish off the Enterprise!>