**Action** "STARSHIP WAAAARS"

**Action**
"The greatest show in the solar system"
Who: Efof Yuwan'Kar
Where: Blue Dwarf, Docked at Jupiter Station
Efof entered his quarters, took off his clothes and sat down to
watch the TV in his underpants. The last few weeks had been
extremely stressful for him, with all the Hymenoptera, and the
alternate reality which gave him such a headache to think about.
The most relaxing thing he thought he could do was to sit quietly in
his quarters and watch TV …in his pants. If asked, he would say its
some kind of ancient Ffionion ritual, but to him it was just
relaxing.
The TV blared out and Efof dimmed the lights. He looked around at
the mess on the floor, the place hadn't been tidied for months. His
dirty clothes were starting to smell, and were almost near to
rotting. He wouldn't tell anybody, but he was secretly hoping that
the growing bacteria from his dirty clothes and dead skin cells
would develop into a primitive life form which he could later
accelerate its growth and start breeding more Ffionians again just
so he wasn't alone. Ah pipe dreams!
He changed to a channel with a more interesting program…
"Welcome to the greatest show in the solar system… it's STARSHIP
WARS!" said the announcer, and after a high-tech intro sequence, the
program cut to the presenter in a jazzy metallic shirt holding a
microphone.
"Hi, I'm TV's Michael Hunt and welcome to STARSHIP WARS! The show
that promises you the best inter-stellar starship action. Every week
on Starship Wars, we pit the crew of a Space Corps or JMC starship
up against one of our state of the art 4th generation hardlight
holographic warships. Two ships enter the arena, one real, one
holographic, and see if the real crews are efficient enough to take
on the holographic ship and beat it in battle!"
Efof raised an eyebrow, at first the program seemed a little like
any other reality TV show, but the promise of starship battles had
some appeal. He watched on.
"…Lets look at last weeks competitors, the JMC Black Sapphire just
didn't have the firepower or quick thinking to outsmart our
holographic USS Defiant from the old TV series Startrek DS9! Here's
what happened!…"
Efof watched clips as this `Black Sapphire' ship exchanged fire with
the Defiant, but the Defiant dodged the blasts and cut through to
the ship's flank, where it fired a full spread of torpedoes into the
Black Sapphire's underbelly.
"Whoo-hoo-hoo!" Said the presenter Michael Hunt. "It's a good job
this is only a game and the torpedoes are holographic, or the Black
Sapphire'd really be in trouble! They get sent straight to the
bottom of our leader board. Of course topping our leaderboard is the
SCS Ark Royal, who's military precision helped them defeat our
holographic Imperial Starcruiser, and the JMC Purple Dwarf who the
week before beat Battlestar Galactica!"
Efof watched in awe as he saw clips of the previous spacebattles, he
can't believe he hadn't seen this show before. The screen cut back
to Mike Hunt, who was now walking down the corridor of a
spacestation. He could see the starry background of space in the
windows that he passed.
"Now I'm here on Jupiter Station to introduce you to the ship next
to battle against our favourite holograms." He stopped at a window
and allowed the camera to see the ship outside.
Efof jumped up in his chair. "THAT'S THE BLUE DWARF!!!" he said. He
bounded to the window and waved, hoping to see himself on TV, but
the shot was way too far away. He excitedly sat down again, thinking
who he could tell.
"…And so to start the challenge. Captain Chrysler of the Blue Dwarf
doesn't know that we're here, so lets go surprise her!" He ran
Annika Rice style down the corridor to a bar called the "Officer's
Mess" where captain Alota was sat drinking a coffee with Jay.
Michael Hunt ran up to her and stuck a microphone and camera in her
face. "Captain Alota, you've been chosen to be on… STARSHIP WARS!"
"What?" asked Alota, live on TV.
Presenter Mike continued, relentless excitement in his voice. "You
have been chosen to pit your spaceship against the best ships in
history and film… in a safe simulated holographic environment of
course! What have you got to say?"
Alota looked blank. "What's starship wars?"
Mike laughed and returned the camera back to him. "What a kidder!
Join us after the break where we tell Captain Alota that she has 12
hours to get her ship ready for the fight of a lifetime, on …The
greatest show in the solar system… STARSHIP WAAAAARS!!!"
The commercials came on, and Efof shot up, and started running down
the corridor shouting "We're going to be on TV… We're going to be on
TEE VEEEEE!!"
Many people came out of their quarters to see what the commotion was
about, right before calling security with security alert
667: `Berserk alien running riot in his pants'.
<OOC- tag everyone, I haven't decided on the ship we should fight
yet- so any suggestions are welcome. >