*Actionette* "Leading into trouble"

<snip>
Callum looked back at the river bank, sure enough there were a group
of
zombies, some on fire from the napalm, shuffling around near the
waters
edge.
"What happens now?!" he asked.
"We go here" said Jay showing Callum a map on his navi-comp.
"Whats there?!"
"The big guy's HQ mate" Jay replied "Were going in to take him out!"
"How can you kill something that's practically a god of evil?!"
"We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.........." said Jay
<end snip>
Who: The 'Ambassador of cool' Seymour Niples, Python, CK, Johnny,
Eric, Efof & Melissa
Where: Base Camp, Planet of the Dead
When: Late Night/Early morning
The Blue Dwarf team had set up base camp on an island on the doomed
planet. It had soon got dark, and it was agreed that everyone should
get some rest and wait until morning before making a full attack on
the Devil's stronghold. Crewmembers were split up and assignmed
temporary tents where they could rest for the night - if anyone
could sleep in this eery place. Crewmembers kept watch over the calm
shallow rivers surrounding base camp, and occasionally if a zombie
was spotted, a gunshot or two was heard before the eery quietness of
the planet resumed.
In one tent, Python, CK, Johnny, Eric, Efof and Melissa slept on
fouton matresses. It wasn't very comfortable but all slept, as it
had been a stressful day. CK slept with one eye open, he felt uneasy
about resting in such a place.
Suddenly a noise outside startled him. He got up and unzipped the
tent to peer outside. Just as he did something grabbed his head and
put a hand over his mouth. He wanted to yell out and warn everyone
else of a zombie attack, but the hand expertly covered his mouth.
Luckily it only turned out to be Seymour. "What are you doing
sneaking up on me like that?!" CK whispered in an annoyed tone.
Weeks ago, Seymour would have talked CK down for speaking to him in
such a disrespectfull tone, but Seymour had since stopped being such
a pompous bighead and now wanted to fit in with his subordinates.
"Wake everyone up, we're going on a mission. But be quiet, it's a
stealth mission."
---An hour later---
Python, CK, Johnny, Eric, Melissa, Efof and Seymour sat in the
souped up Austin Healy driving along a dry riverbed. Seymour checked
his map and pointed directions.
It was still dark, but by now the sun was starting to rise. Even
this normally magnificant sight seemed odd and eery on this planet.
They saw fewer zombies around, but there was still the odd murmering
in earshot of the undead mjoping around the landscape.
"So what are we actually doing?" Asked Johnny at the wheel.
"Just a little reconissance mission, don't worry." said Seymour. "We
need to scout out the enemy base before the attack. If we clear the
entrance, then the rest of the crew will make a better job of the
attack later on."
"I still think its a bit early." Melissa said, yawning.
"Are we absolutely sure about this?" Asked CK. "I mean, surely a pre-
empative attack force should consist of more than a Royal
Ambassador, Armoury officer, a nurse, a repairman, a flight engineer
and a strange 4-armed alien who barely knows where he is most of the
time." CK thumbed to Efof, who was looking around at everything in
awe.
"Ah but you have me, danger extrordinaire!" Said Seymour. "Whenever
theres danger, i'm there!" He did some mock judo-chops in the
air. "Danger is my middle name you know?"
"Riiiiight. ANd that makes me feel better or that we're just going
to die?" Said CK.
Suddenly Seymour's phone started to ring to the tune of Guns N'
Roses - sweet child o' mine.
Johnny started nodding to the tune. "Hey, didnt you always have a
boring opera tune?"
"Yes, but now.... I'm cool!" Seymour said. Melissa wondered if she
could actually see his head expand.
Seymour answered, it was Jay Chrysler.
"Hi Jay Dude!" Said Seymour chirpily.
"Hi Seymour du- Seymour." Said Jay, trying not to get sucked into
Seymour's way of speaking. "Where are you? We all woke up this
morning to find you and others missing, we thought you had been
taken by zombies in the night!" Jay's tone was stern and annoyed.
"Yes sorry about that, i'm just taking a team out for an attack on
the enemy base."
"You WHAT?!"
"I said..."
"I know what you said and I want you to get back right now! You
can't just take it upon yourself to take a team, you'll get killed.
Do you have anyone with appropriate combat experience?"
"Erm well no, but Danger is my middle-"
"And do you have anyone with appropriate command experience?"
"As a Royal Ambassador, I have minor control over the Royal Air
Force and the Royal Navy..."
"Yes, but you don't though do you!"
"I used to command the Blue Dwarf!"
"Okay true, but this is very different Seymour. You're going into a
troop battle, with untrained crewmembers. I think that new
personality of yours is making you do strange things, you keep
putting yourself into unnecissary danger! I want you to turn around
and bring your team back right now. You don't even know what
situation you're going into."
"That's the fun of it surely?" Argued Seymour. "Plus we need to
recon the area before the full attack." Seymour then started making
static noises. "I'm sorry Jay mate I can't hear you...you're
breaking up..." He hung up.
Seymour saw everyone else looking at him. "That was Mr Chrysler, he
has doubts about our mission, but I'm confident we can scout out the
area."
Everyone looked dubious.
---later---
The car pulled up a distance away from a large cave. Seymour checked
the map.
"This is the entrance to the enemy stronghold." He said, as everyone
got out of the car.
"This is it?" Said Efof dissapointedly. "Awwww... I was expenting a
big castle or something!" He started kicking the dirt.
Python looked through some binocuilars. "I guess its an underground
complex. The cave entrance is guarded by only two guards. They are
both armed though."
"No problem for Seymour the action hero!" Seymour said. "Everyone
stay here. I'll deal with it."
"What are you doing?!!!" Everyone protested as Seymour ran at the
guards.
"He'll get himself killed." Said Melissa.
"Good!" Said Everyone else.
Seymour charged with his gun above his head, he shouted as he ran.
The guards could see him coming a mile off. One aimed his rifle and
Seymour fell down with one shot.
Seymour awoke to find two guards looking over him.
"Sweet baby jesus and the orphans, what happened?!" He said, trying
to get up. But a guard had a foot on his chest.
The Ambassador looked up to see who it was. "Well well well, if it
isn't Commander Niples." Said a voice. "I expected to see you here.
But I never thought you were still alive- I thought I'd arranged
that."
"OH MY GOD!" he shouted. "NO, No it can't be!" He struggled to get
up but the man kicked him back down. Seymour looked up to see the ex-
Captain of the Blue Dwarf, Captain Will Cannon. The man who
detonated a nuclear warhead on a habited asteroid to wip out the
civilisation of GELF's responsible for killing his wife and
children. The blast had almost killed Seymour.
He looked up at Cannon's undead face. Dry dead flesh hung from his
bones, his skin charred representing the explosion that killed him.
"Now I can kill you properly Seymour. Like I always wanted. You
drove me mad you know, of course it was partly the fact my family
were murdered... but also you, YOU! You annoying little man, always
acting so pompous and posh, with your talk of fine wines and arts
and opera.... man, it's so annoying! I can't believe I thought a
nuclear explosion was good enough for you. I should have throttled
you with my bare hands! Luckily I can do that now."
He turned to the other guard and asked him to leave.
Cannon kicked Seymour to get up. "Okay you little wimp, I'm going to
kill you properly this time!"
Seymour stood up. "Oh no! I've changed now, I'm now cool and....have
friends... and ... people like me.. and ... I do cool stuff like
snowboarding!"
Cannon sighed. "Still a sad sad little man aren't you?"
"I'm not afraid of you." Seymour tried to punch him Cannon's long
strong skeleton arm nocked him down. Seymour got up angrily and
tried again. He was knocked down. This continued and Seymour kept
getting up with the same amount of confidence each time but every
time was knocked back.
"You seem to want to get killed Seymour. That trait will land you in
trouble some day." Said Cannon. "Who knows, you might regenerate
here and work for the Devil like I do. Its a good life, it means I
get to kill twats like you."
Suddenly Cannon fell down. Behind him was Eric Lustbader with a
bazukoid. "In need of an armoury officer?" He asked and threw
Seymour a gun.
<to be continued...>