Efof "Weapons form"

Who: Efof Yuwan'Kar, Miranda, and then Python
Where: Parrotts Bar
When: A brand new day!
Efof strolled into Parrotts, a little blurry eyed from the early
morning. Miranda was there cleaning up just ready to open the bar.
"Morning!" Efof said seeing her and bursting into life. "You'll
never guess what I did yesterday?!" He said excitedly.
"Fought some dead people on the planet below?" Miranda said, waving
her thumb to the window where the planet could be seen.
"Yeah how did you guess?"
"Everyone else has been telling me plonker!"
"Oh old new then I guess" Efof said. "Well I don't care I'm gonna
tell you anyway! There were these zombies right, and I was like
woah…"
This is when Python walked in.
"Python my buddy!" Efof said happily. He then turned to
Miranda. "This is my buddy Python, he's almost an alien like me!"
"Almost?" Asked Miranda, humouring Efof.
"Yeah he's travelled to lots of alien worlds… wheres that little
weird tree thing anyway?" Said Efof standing on a chair and
worriedly pulling up his trouser legs in case the gnarly little tree-
man was around.
"Not here, anyway Efof I have something to tell you-"
"Hold on a sec, would you like a drink?" Efof went behind the bar
and picked up a glass. He flipped it over his wrist, threw it up
into the air, caught it behind his back, juggled with it and dropped
it. The glass smashed on the floor.
"Four hands and you still drop it every time!" Said Miranda annoyed,
reaching for the mop.
"Anyway Efof, there's another mission back to the planet. Teams meet
in the Flight Deck in an hour."
"Oh cripes! Better go then." Efof said walking over the smashed
glass and crushing it even more into smaller pieces and kicking it
all over the bar. "Oops!"
---Armoury---
Efof and Python strolled down to the armoury joking on the way. They
burst into the room ready to grab any weapon in there to take down
to the planet. But things in there had changed.
Instead of wall to wall guns that you could just help yourself to,
or even anything just laying around, there was now a desk in the
office with a rather sturdy looking locked cupboard. In front of the
locked cupboard was a man sat with his feet up on the desk.
"Can I help you gentlemen?" The man asked.
"Erm yeah…. I…we wanted some guns, we normally pick them up from
here. Even ones on the floor will do. Where are they?"
"Behind me, locked safely away." Said the man. "Let me introduce
myself, I'm Eric Lustbader, armoury officer. You now have to go
through me if you want any kind of weapons. Please fill out this
form."
"A what?"
"A form" Eric repeated.
"I'm sorry I'm from a paradise planet, I don't understand these evil
terms." Efof said naively.
"Just write your details down on this piece of paper please, you too
sir." He gave a form to them both.
Efof looked at the first question. It said `Name'.
"Do you want that in the original Ffionian?" Efof asked.
"English please!" Said Eric. He watched Efof write his name. "Okay
mr. Funny guy, no jokes please!"
"What?"
"Efof You wanker? Do you think I'm an idiot?"
"That's my name!" Efof said offended. Then gasped. "That's racist!"
"Okay okay! Just fill out the rest of the form then."
Efof continued. It said `Address'.
"Hey Python where do I live?"
"Erm… I don't know! Which quarters are you in?"
"Ah…er….well it depends, I have no quarters as such, there was an
empty one on Z-Deck that I moved into, but I'm not quite sure if I'm
allowed. Its because I'm an alien, I couldn't provide a guarantor. I
think I might still be classed as an intruder, they charge me
emergency tax on wages."
"Just put Seymour's quarters or something." Said Python.
"No no no!" Said Eric. "Do it right, or you're not getting any
guns!"
Efof sighed and copied Pythons address. He moved onto the next
question.
"National Insurance number, are you kidding me?! I'm an alien, look
four arms! Look-" he dropped his trousers. "Theres a nose between my
legs! And look what's on my head!" He was about to take his hat off
when Python stopped him.
"Okay point taken!" Python said. "I'll just request two guns. I can
do that can't I?"
Eric checked his regulations list and sadfully nodded.
He checked Pythons form and removed two bazukoids from the weapons
locker behind him. He deliberately passed them both to Python,
although Efof took it straight off him.
They both thanked him and walked off and Eric checked the form.
"Okay thanks Mr… Mouse…. M. Mouse –HEY!!!"