Python's First Job
Who: Python, Callum Kochanski
Where: Blue Midget
When: Morning after Python joined crew
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Python was having a really crap first day. The Blue Midget had caught fire last night and Python had to fix everything, whilst being supervised by Callum Kochanski. At the moment, Python was fixing the control panel. This was really complicated.
"Oh come on! This isn't the kind of thing I am supposed to be doing." Python said.
"This is what you applied for, Python!" Callum replied.
"Oh yeah! When the recruitment asked me if I'm good at fixing things, he should have been a bit more specific!" Python said.
"And what have you fixed before?" Callum asked.
"Oh......er....a walkman, a Pot Noodle machine, a hilarious fridge alarm." Python answered.
"Well, think about it! You should have looked around you. That would have given you an idea of what you might have to repair." Callum said.
"Fine, whatever" Python said.
Python managed to put part of the contol panel back together.
"Okay, I've done it!" Python said.
"Good! Test it now. Push a few buttons to see if everything is in order." Callum instructed Python.
Python pushed a button. Sparks started coming out of the contol panel, and the whole thing blew up.
"Right! Looks like we have a problem there, Python, doesn't it." Callum responded.
"I guess so!" Python said.
"And I bet that switch over there isn't even fixed properly, is it?" Callum said, pointing at a switch on the wall.
Python went over to the switch and tested it. Hardcore Trance started belting out of the speakers. Then the ice cream machine started squirting out a whole load of ice cream.
"PYTHON, THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE EMERGENCY SWITCH! ALTHOUGH, YOU HAVE MANAGED TO LINK IT UP TO THE RADIO AND THE ICE CREAM MACHINE!" Callum was shouting over the loud trance music.
"I'M REALLY SORRY" Python shouted.
"TURN THAT OFF!" Callum called.
Python pulled the switch again. The speakers blew up and the ice cream machine squirted on the contol panel. Smoke started coming out of the control panel.
"What actually made you interested in joining the Blue Dwarf crew?" Callum asked.
"Oh, I just came onto this ship to get off Planet XYZ." Python answered. "I'm only doing work because I was told I had to. I mean I'm going to get off this ship as soon as we stop off on a hostile planet."
"The Blue Dwarf is not going to take another stop for another 7 years." Callum said.
"What?!?" Python said frantically.
"We have decided to buy some extra supplies, so there will be no need to stop off that often." Callum said.
"Can't you just bring me back to Earth or Mars, or somewhere in that solar system, on the Starbug or something?" Python asked.
"No, we went into light speed last night. We have now gone 40 years away from Earth. We will have to wait another 5 years to be able to get Extra Powerful Fuel to travel back to that solar system." Callum answered.
"Oh, so I have to stay on this ship for another 7 years?" Python asked.
"Yes!" Callum answered. Callum handed Python a Technician's Guidebook. "This should help you repair all this. Now get back to work."
Callum left the Blue Midget. Python scanned through the guide and started trying to repair the Contol Panel.
LATER ON......
Who: Python, Callum Kochanski, Test Robots
Where: Outside Blue Midget
When: Evening
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"So, Python. Did you do a good job?" Callum asked.
"Yep!" Python replied. "It's good as new. This Technician's Guide really did help. Thanks for that."
"No Problem. Now we just need these test robots to test it out." Callum said.
The Test Robots went into the Blue Midget. The Blue Midget took off. Hardcore Trance Music started belting out of the speakers. The Blue Midget flew out into space. It flew around in circles a few times. It caught fire. The Blue Midget crash landed back into the Blue Dwarf. The fire alarms went off. The Fire Extinguishing System was activated and foam came out of the ceiling and put out the flames. Ice Cream squirted out of the Blue Midget windows.
"Well, Python! I'm afraid this is going on your record!" Callum said.
"Ohhhhh............crap!" Python responded.
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