Niples- "Unneccessary excitement for a Royal Ambassador"

Who: Seymour Niples on a snowboard!
Where: K2, Earth
When: Yesterday
Seymour gritted his teeth as he sped down the cold harsh mountain at
breakneck speeds on his snowboard. He skidded sharply to avoid a
jagged stone and zig zagged his way down the mountain at ease. He
casually glanced a look at his watch as he passed over one of the
harshest terrains on the planet.
His transport was late, and the bomb was about to go off.
Suddenly a bazookoid blast went right past him and exploded far off
to his left. He changed direction to see what was going on, someone
was firing a bazookoid at him from the top of the mountain.
Another explosion close to him showered him in ice shards. Seymour
took it in his stride and looked again at his watch. 3…2….1….. the
top of the mountain erupted in a massive fireball.
He'd been sent there on a secret mission by the Queen to destroy a
terrorist stronghold. Actually it wasn't his job, he should have let
some other lackey from MI6 do it, on her majesties secret service
and all that- but Seymour had a need for danger lately.
And that danger now came tumbling down the hill after him. An
avalanche from the blast was right behind him, 2 weeks ago this
would have caused Seymour to stain his expensive fine cotton Y-
fronts, but now since his personality change he craved the danger,
it made him feel alive and he wanted it more and more.
The wall of falling ice was 6 times taller than him and gaining
fast, he passed a few straggly dead trees and they got caught up in
the avalanche, rolling and bouncing in the tidal wave behind him,
one bounced straight over him, snagging his suit as it caught him.
Seymour caught sight of the vally in front of him, the descending
pathway he was on split to a sheer ravine on his left and a shallow
easy slope to his right. Seymour smiled to himself and angled his
snowboard to the more dangerous ravine.
The crisp snow disappeared from underneath him and Seymour did a
barrel-roll in the air with grace, the avalanche following him
tumbled off the cliff.
Seymour landed with ease on the opposite snow peak and slowed to a
stop.
A bright light appeared from above him, and he held a hand up to
cover his eyes as he looked up. The Space Eagle was descending down
in front of him.
Seymour picked up his snowboard and walked over. "You're late! I
called the Blue Dwarf for pickup 7 minutes ago, it only takes 5
minutes to get here!" He said to the worried looking crewmember who
nervously walked out. It was Callum Kotchanski.
"I'm sorry Mr Nipples sir, I um.. mean Niples! Sorry, sorry again!"
Callum had heard that the Ambassador was a bit of a moody bastard,
and infinitely higher up the ranking structure than him, so Callum
nervously apologised, trying to make a good impression.
"Oh no, you have a tear in your suit!!" CK said alarmed pointing at
Seymours suit, then instantly covered his head. He had heard that
Seymour lashes out at nearby crewmembers if he ever rips any suit.
When CK realised he wasn't going to get a beating, he looked up.
Seymour didn't look too bothered.
"Ah, Its only a suit. It'll mend." Said Seymour brushing it off.
"Really? I mean…are you sure? I've heard… nevermind. You ARE Seymour
Niples aren't you?"
"Of course Dude, now lets get out of here before-"
An explosion on the ice next to them rocked the Space Eagle. "I
think we better get out of here dude! More terrorists."
"Dude? Are you ROYAL AMBASSADOR Seymour Niples?"
"YES! Now lets go!"
They clambered aboard and CK got in the pilots seat. Seymour
coughed. "Can I drive?" Seymour asked.
"Erm…well…"
"Oh come on, I used to be a pilot man!"
"Well the thing is… there's a list on the flight deck wall of people
we're not supposed to allow to fly…"
"Ahh it'll be fine!"
Seymour took the wheel and flew off deliberately fast and purposely
close to the ground for added danger.
"Ok," Said CK nervously. "Now that I've helped you out- could you
help me out. I want to get all the rock fans on the Blue Dwarf to
the Ozzfest festival."
"Oh kewl!" Said Seymour.
"Did you just say kewl? Is that normal for a Royal Ambassador?"
asked CK.
Seymour ignored him. "Okay I'll help you get people to this
festival, I havn't been to a music festival for ages!"
"Oh you're into music too? What was the last thing you went to see?"
"Last night of the proms"
"What kind of band's that?" Asked Callum.
<to be continued…>