To live or not to live, that is the question?

OOC- I think this is a first jp between us, so enjoy :D
:::Warning Long Post Alert:::
This joint post is brought to you by:
Amber Cleavage-FeBuggure (Keats)
and
Chris Harris
------
Who: Amber, Chris, Jay, Jack, CK
Where: The Phoenix
When: After Amber storms out of the cockpit
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chris glanced at the door of the cockpit, seeing the angry form of
Amber trudging out of the room, he then turned his glance to the
unconcious form of Jack, laying sprawled out on the floor.
"This is my fault isn't it" said Chris, sounding close to tears, he
then turned his back on the group and walked out of the cockpit.
Amber growled sensing the person following her. She poured another
cup of tea. It was over brewed, and too strong but she sipped the
foul liquid anyway.
"Tell me you aren't following me and i'll forgive you." She snapped
not even looking at Chris.
"Im not following you Amber" said Chris, as he continued walking
past her, a tear leaked out of his eye, "Why did i have to die, why."
"If you want sympathy you've come to the wrong person. My Dad was
dead for a while. But thanks to GELF intervention he isn't anymore,
and i'm here with screwed up genetics." She gulped more of the tea,
the hot liquid scalding her mouth and throat as she swallowed.
"I dont need sympathy, I need a bloody miracle, thats all I need"
said Chris calmly, "You dont know what it feels like to be dead,
there are so many things that cant be done, even if you're hardlight"
he said, "Besides, you know the way your dad came back isnt the only
way to come back" continued Chris. "I just wish I knew somebody that
could help me." He trailed off as several more tears forced
themselves out of his eyes, an image came up in his mind, the image
was of a woman. The only person that gave a toss that he was dead,
and the only person that he shared feelings with, he tutted to
himself, "Why am I having this conversation with you, I should have
it with somebody who cares."
"I'd suggest suicide, but that's not really an option is it?" Amber
laughed and downed the rest of the tea, crushed the cup and threw it
at Chris. It arced through the air and sailed through his light body
jolting his bee. His image flickered for a few moments. Amber laughed
again, her eyes dancing with black flecks. "Score one to me" Amber
smiled gleefully
"You want to hurt me? A deadie wants to hurt me? Go for it, with
all your solidness. Hit me. I dare you." She emphasised the last
three words by saying them slowly and narrowing her eyes at Chris. He
Drew his sword, it was still red with blood from Jacks and his last
escapade. He grabbed a cloth from his side and cleaned it,
"I don't want to hurt you Amber. I want you to help me" He met her
eyes for a few brief seconds then he winced and looked away. The urge
to crush Chris's light bee was overwhelming Amber. Her eyes were
flooded with black and she was breathing heavily. An internal war was
raging, she knew it was wrong to hurt Chris, but the annoying little
runt was asking for it. She was rooted to the spot not able to make a
descision.
"You couldn't hurt me even if you tried." She said, her voice an
almost imperceptable tone deeper.
"Believe me Amber, I could, and if you think im asking for it, then
you're wrong, I was being deadly serious" Said Chris as he walked
over to the window and peered out of it. Amber shook her head as if
clearing cobwebs from it, her hair fell in front of her face. Pushing
the strands back into place she looked at Chris, the tone draining
out of her eyes again.
"Whatever. Look if you need to talk, talk." She said, brushing off
the last few minutes behaviour.
"Im sick and tired of life as a hologram, i wanna come back, i
wanna live, but im scared, if it goes wrong, i could wind up gone
forever. At least in this life i still have people that care about
me" he said as the images of his friends and loved ones zoomed around
his mind. "But me being a hologram has had so many drawbacks. I
almost got Jack killed twice. What am i supposed to do?" He turned
once again to Amber, barely keeping a straight face as an endless
torrent of tears leaked out of his eyes. Amber rolled her eyes and
walked over to Chris.
"Hey, it could be worse right? I mean, you could have not been
brought back. Your memories could have been corrupted or something."
she went to place a hand on his shoulder, but decided not to.
"I suppose." he sniffed, "But i dont want to be dead anymore, if i
stay dead, ill never have a family, ill never live, ill never be the
man that i once was, it'll be the end of me." he said, the tears just
wouldnt stop. "What am i supposed to do?"
"I dunno. I'm not the best person to talk to about this. Ask Dad,
he'll know." Amber said. Walking over and pouring another cup of
rancid tea. Chris walked down the corridor to a vending machine,
where he got a coffee, and walked back to Amber.
"Where is he Amber?" he asked when he returned
<Tag!>