boom bada boom

Who:- Jay, the Blue Dwarf armada
Where:- Space,
When:- During the attack
"HE'S IN!" Jay yelled into the comm as Dean, ploughed into the drive room of
the Blue Dwarf, Dean, usually the only person able to actually perform this
'maneuver' hence the reason he was chosen, had found it extremely difficult
to crash the Raven on purpose. Under normal circumstances he would have
crashed into the drive room nearly obliterating it simply trying to
parrallel park, heck, once he'd even done it becuase he left the handbrake
off.
Today however, when he was actually ASKED to do it, when the crew depended
on him doing it as quickly and efficiently as possible.....it has taken 47
attempts to do it without missing.
Finally, on the 48th try, he made impact, and the boarding party filed out
into the ship.
Jay meanwhile was leading an assault force of Gelfs, and any crew member
with a license to fly...and Phil.
"Ok..phase one is over..." Jay ordered "MOVE TO PHASE 2!!"
Phase two was actually exactly the same as Phase one, as Jay had put it in
his briefing Phase One was "Blow up as many of the bug sons of smeggers as
possible and keep Dean safe"
Phase two was "Blow up as many of the bug sons of bitches as possible and
forget about Dean"..not because he didn't care about what happened to
Dean..far from it, Dean kept the navigation department's starbug fleet
constantly being replaced for new craft, but because Dean was now rejoining
the fight and could look after himself.
Jay looped his X-wing, with Mini-Phil in R2-D2's socket, between the
nacelles on the Enterprise, piloted by Callum Kochanski, leading a
Hymenoptera fighter right in the path of the larger vessels aft torpedo
launcher. "Whoooooo!" he squealed "Thank you Mr K!" he said in gratitude
"You guys have NO idea how good it feels to back up in the big black!"
"I know the feeling!" Amber replied "But it would be a lot more fun if we
wern't being shot at!"
"Wheres your sense of humour?!" was all Jay could say, and rocketed off on
the tail of three bug ships, opening the X-wings wings and opening fire with
all four blasters, blowing all three vessells into shards of white hot
metal, seconds before he was forced to roll the ship sideways sharply to
avoid a heavy blast of cannon fire coming from somewhere.
"WHERE THE SMEG DID THAT COME FROM?!" he asked anyone with an answer.
"Someone's brave to be shooting at me when I'm in the sky..."
"It was the BLue Dwarf..." came Mini-Phils translated "eeee" on Jay's screen
"They've fitted it with big FUCKING cannons all along the hull!! And whats
worse...IM HORNY!!!"
"OH shut up you little pervert......" Jay replied "OK PEOPLE! TAKE OUT THOSE
CANNONS!!!" he twisted at high speed between several friendly, AND enemy
ships toward the 'Dwarf, opening fire on one of the cannon fixtures, joined
by several of the other smaller craft while the rest of the fleet fought off
the oncoming hordes of Hymenoptera fighters. One clean shot from Jays
blaster ruptured the cannons fuel line, causing it to explode, sending
massive vibrations throughout the entire super-structure of the Blue Dwarf
and tearing a hole in the hull of the Big Blue one and sending the cannon
hurtling into space where it ripped through a Hymenoptera craft.
"Ouch...wouldn't wanna be climbing through the ventilation ducts right
now....." Jay murmered as he "Yahoo'ed!" and continued to merrily blow
things to smithereens.
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