RE: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Fishing trip

"Well" said Cerebrum "This IS a predicament you've gotten us into Mr Chrysler" He marched around the prison cell with his hands behind his back.
"WHAT?!" Jay said, turning to face Cerebrum from his position gazing out of the small cell window. "How did I get us into this predicament?!"
"You provoked them"
"How?!"
"By killing the squid! Do I have to spell it out for you?!"
"I KILLED THAT SQUID RESCUING YOU YOU GOIT!" Jay shouted raising his voice. "I could have escaped capture if I'd done what I should have done and LEFT YOU BEHIND!!!" 
"So you admit it was your fault?!"
"look whatever" said Jay dimissivley "We've got to figure out a way out of here"
"YOU need to figure a way out..." said Cerebrum "I can just switch to soft-light and walk through the bars!"
Jay smirked as Cerebrum said this "Be my guest!" he said
Cerebrum straightened his glasses and his projection faded, then re-booted, his 'H' and clothing a differnet colour to indicate he was now merely a projection without a physical substance. HE walked to the bars and stepped through, where he was greeted by a high-voltage electrical pulse, that sheared through his projection, disrupting the image. He leapt back, his hair on end. "You knew that was going to happen didn't you?" he asked Jay
"Yup!" Jay replied, trying to stifle laughter "I saw them activate the holo-forcefield when they realised you were a hologram!"
The 'witty banter' was interuppted by a voice cutting in across the loudspeaker
"THE HUMAN AND THE HOLOGRAM IN CELL 42!"
"Is that us?!" Cerebrum asked "I hope so...I need them to send the maids in, my pillow's need fluffing...""This is a jail not the Ritz!" Jay whispered "Now SSH!  I wanna listen to this!!"
The voice continued "YOU ARE TO STAND TRIAL BEFORE THE GREAT JURY!"
"On what charge?!" Jay asked
"TRESPASSING, ESPIONAGE, ENDANGERING WILDLIFE..."
"SEE!" Cerebrum said, boastfully, Jay slapped him, hard across the back of his now hard-light head.
"AND LITTERING!"
"Littering?!"
"THE shuttle you crashed in our sea.."
"Oooohh....that"
"IF FOUND GUILTY THE SENTENCE WILL BE DEATH!"
"Well..." said Cerebrum "That's good!"
"AND THE HOLOGRAM WILL BE DELETED...After we have some 'fun' with him"
"Oh..."
"Look" said Jay "We've got nothing to worry about, you've acted as a lawyer before, we just need to convince them we're here by accident, were counting on you Pat!!"
"I hate you" said Cerebrum.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  

-----Original Message-----From: Andy Longman [mailto:sirlagerlot@...]Sent: 25 June 2004 20:55To: Blue DwarfSubject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Fishing trip"PHUUUUWWWAAAA!!" Breathed Chrysler as he broke the surface of the water, helooked around, treading water. Ocean, ocean and more ocean, was all Jaycould see apart from a speck of an island in the distance."PHIL?!" he shouted "NIPLES?!"No reply"Cerebrum?" he whispered, at least this way he could say he DID call out forhim, but Cerebrum must 'not have heard'.Beneath him was the rapidly sinking carcass of the crashed starbug, he'dordered everyone to eject, then crash landed the starbug in the ocean, whereit would cause the least damage, and he'd only just managed to get away fromit without being pulled under by the suction it was putting out.He began to swim for the island.He was alerted by a sudden splashing sound, and a high-pitched cry of"AIIIIEEEEEE!!!!" he whirled around in the water, to see what looked like ahuman being tossed around by the tentacles of a giant squid."Dont.." SPLOOSH! the figure was dunked beneath the waves, then pulled backout again rapidly by the flailing tentalces "JUST!...." SPLOOSH! "FLOAT!"SPLOOSH! "THERE!" SPLOOSH! "HELP ME!!" SPLOOSH!"It had become apparent that this was actually Patrick Cerebrum."WHY DONT YOU JUST GO SOFT LIGHT?!" Jay asked"Don't you think if I could do that I'd have done so by now?!"Jay shrugged "smeg knows, for all I know you enjoy pain..hold on..." hesighed, pulling his combat knife from his boot, he placed it between histeethe and swam over to where Cerebrum was being tossed around, the squidraised an investigative tentacle towards Jay, who reacted by jabbing hisknife, hard into the mandible, before pulling it back out and diving beneaththe surface, coming face to face with the creature.The squid began secreting vast clouds of thick black ink, blinding thepilot, unable to see Jay blindly stabbed in the dark. The squid violentlyflailed its tentacles around, letting go of Cerebrum who landed in the waterwith a loud splash. The ink was beginning to disperse, and although thewater was still murky, Jay could just make out the shape of the squid.Without judgement he tossed the knife blade first, which moved surprisinglyquickly through the water, and embedded itself in the squids eye. It'stentacles stopped flapping, and it began to sink into the depths.Jay and Cerebrum both swam for the surface, Jay panting for breath as hebroke through."Next.....time...." he puffed "You're....fish..food...why couldn'tyou....switch to soft light?!""Well..." said Cerebrum "I'd have dropped my sandwich" he stuffed the lastpiece of chicken and mayo on white bread into his chubby face and licked hisfingers clean, Jay stifled his desire to throttle the psychiatrist anddecided to take charge. "I was heading for that island" he said "I figurePhil, Seymour and the others would probably have done the same""If they're not dead""Well aint you just Mr. glass-is-half-full?!""Well..." said Cerebrum "Im a realist, and thought youd enjoy the fact thatyou probably killed everybody on the shuttle""ME?!" Jay spluttered "How did I kill everyone?!""By getting in the cockpit....""I'm gonna kill...." Jay was interuptted as a circle of helicoptersdescended over the water around them, out of the hatches leant dozens ofgun-toting gelfs.    "..you.." Jay finished."Relax!" said Cerebrum "They're G.E.L.F.s, genetic lifeforms, they won'tharm the same species as who created them!"The air was filled with the sound of several gun's cocking at once."You were saying?!"<tag people!>...Protecting the universe from the scum of the Earth...www.BlueDwarf.co.uk-View the Blue Dwarf guide to the galaxy!Your number one resource in all things Blue Dwarf related!