RE: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Did somebody say champagne?

WHAT THE HELL?!?!?

-----Original Message-----From: chrisofsmeg [mailto:chrisjpharris@...]Sent: 12 June 2004 22:35To: JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.comSubject: [JMC_Blue_Dwarf] Did somebody say champagne?--- In JMC_Blue_Dwarf@yahoogroups.com, "chriskentlea" <mobius@k...> wrote:> He looked away from Phil, just long enough for Phil's left foot > tolift from the floor and land itself squarely in the groin of the > pirate.> "Sorry mate!" he said "But I've gotta hit my ro-sham-bo targets for > the month or my kids will starve....."> > "Oh Phils...Duck" said Tara, before she reliased that Phil was > allready pre-ducked.> > A pool cue went flying over head, impaling a guy staning near Phil.> > "Remind me to never to play pool her again..." said Phil.> > "Reminded..Now i think it's time we...oh bugger.." said Tara as she > relised one of the pirates had grabbed Phil and dumped him in a sack > and ran off with him down the corridor..========================================And then all of a sudden, Chris Harris came running in with a sword unlike the pirates sword clutched in his and, and a bow and a quiver full of arrows, and the tune that you get in the lord of the rings when they do something heroic murmuring in he backround, he immediately started hacking at the pirates, and practically cleared the whole of parrots, murmuring mindlessly, "sorry i have to kill loads of you bloody assholes or my light-bee will starve", or, "hey, watch it, light-bee's are expensive you know"!and then, when there were only about 3 or 4 pirates left, Efof came in clutching the familiar lump around his head, though i must say, it did look smaller than usual."The Bastards, they chopped half of it off, they chopped half of the smeggin thing off, can you believe what those bastards did"said efof"will you guys help me find the rest of it"he asked, but that was the last thing that he said for a while, as the brown paper bag burst open, and champagne started pourig out of the stump of his penis, and everyone then started forming and orderly line with glasses, waiting for efof to give them some champagne before resuming their fighting.When everybody had finished collecting what was about 5 glasses of champagne each, making every single high-ranking crewmember exept Nipples and Jack, completely and utterly pie eyed, and then, ducking froma flying chair, CK said, "why the bloody hell do you have champagne instead of blood".Efof then replied"that's an insult to me you know, all of my race have champagne blood, but we drink blood instead of champagne, i beg you try it some time it's quite nice, when i went to london for my birthday once, and it took a blood long time getting there"."Space traffic"suggested Tara, ducking from another flying chair, and then Efof said, "No, the M25 was choca-block, honestly it was a nightmare.Anyway, so as i was saying, when i was over there i fell over and started bleeding, first they tried to send me to st mary's, then london zoo, because they thought that i was some kind of new animal, so in the end, after being fed a load of s**t for 3 days, my parents helped me escape"."Wierd"exclaimed everyone apart from efor(including the pirates)"Anyway you guys, i've had enough champagne pouring out of my head now, will you help me find the other half"(he pointed to a now very smal lump on his forehead)."after the rest of the pirates in parotts had been killed, everybody on that heard the conversation, started to walk out of parrots and followed the trail of champagne down the corridor, with a load of ice with them, so that when they fouind it, the chief medical officer(which i now think is tara, could attach it back to his fore head, without much pain, just so that everybody could still call him a dickhead!!(but the downside is that they wont get anymore free champagne!!)...Protecting the universe from the scum of the Earth...www.BlueDwarf.co.uk-View the Blue Dwarf guide to the galaxy!Your number one resource in all things Blue Dwarf related!